I would liken you
To a night without stars
Were it not for your eyes.
I would liken you
To a sleep without dreams
Were it not for your songs.

Bless this dusty bookcase
Where they prey
And lie in waiting;
Bound in pages brown
and fading. Fed off tremors
Echoed from the desperate hand
That made them.

Bless the poem that's forsaken
By the tongue that begs to taste
Words written for false promises--
Dipped in cedar, dripping rhythm--
Unfurled to breathe florescent lighting
Of a library that's spent decades
Searching for a new way to say forgotten.

Heirloomed ink is grave-worm risen.
Bless this second coming
But expect to find no Mesiah here.

Do not stand at my grave and weep..
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awake in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star-shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry..
I am not there. I did not die.

Shoot your words through me
make me quiver
please
take me down
and make me feel again.
Show me what it is to
burn in love.
I haven't felt in so long
it's an unbearable drone
a lifeless sensation as though
I'm just piloting a shell
of a body.
I don't remember the last
time it was that I itched with
passion
when  I was filled with emotion
and creativity that erupts from the hands
and the mouth
and the mind
and the soul.
It's been too long since I've felt
and now
I've got nothing left to
myself.
It has been much too long
since I've felt a thing.
Hurt me please.
Break me.
**** me.
I've got nothing left to
say.
I can't do this anymore.
I need inspiration.

I never asked for this.
I never wanted to know you
to feel you on my morning skin
to hear you whisper songs with the wind

I never wanted you.

And I was such an idiot for not wanting you
but you pulled me in
and promised me on that painful night
that joy would come with the dawn

I never wanted you.

Especially now that you refuse to
leave me
I've been faithless my entire life but
now I think I can manage just
a drop
even though it's the size of a mustard seed.

I never wanted you.

Because of you I can't have it my way
I want my way
but yours is always better and I know that
but I still try to
go
and you still
take me back
every single time

I never wanted you.

I didn't ask for your love
Your stupid, relentless --
I hate this
because it's too much for me to take in
to hold in
but it's a beautiful kind of hate
How come your love is like this
it's like an ocean and I'm drowning, but the thing is
I'm allowing the drowning
I didn't ask for your love because

I never wanted you.


You wanted me.

When posies are ill,
gardens bloom in sadness,
butterflies cry