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Waiting.

I'm waiting for the day
when reality sinks in.
When life runs it's cruel,
never ending course,
and this fragile web of sentiment
get's run into,
and I'm the spider,
left to wonder
what I could've possibly done
to deserve having my fortress destroyed.
Sheep wool entangled
in the barbwire
on the Downs
at the top

and you and Jane
laying there
taking in the sun
and the blue of sky

and white of clouds
the soft grass
beneath you
she pointing

at birds overhead
naming them
laughing
when you got

the name wrong
her moving fingers
the hand waving there
and you talking

of the dullness
of London
by comparison
it unknown to her

the big city
the traffic
the noise
the smell

and she there
beside you
her grey skirt
tucked about her

her white blouse
open at the neck
the impression
of *******

her profile
as you turned
and gazed
the dark hair

embracing
her jaw line
the eyes gazing upward
her white socks

the old shoes
the sight of legs
from shoes
to hem of skirt

the beat of heart
your heart pumping
the sight of her
the closeness

and her voice
in the air your
hand reaching out
to touch her arm

inching outward
your fingertips
and her fingertips
feel and fold

and entangle
and release
and entangle
and she said

that cloud formation
is like an enormous god
opening arms
you looked

and frowned
and that one there
she said
is like an angel

with white wings
you gazed
at her lips moving
that one there

you said pointing
is like Santa Claus
running naked
to the beach

and she laughed
and there was the echo
of her laughter
all over the space

of Downs
her fingers
holding yours
touching

not quite Michelangelo
as art
but at least
some union

of heart
moving heart.
They are listening to every thought
maybe if I grin no one will notice
notice the pain
breathing slowly to catch one breath that doesn't break
my ribs crumble and my knees shake
For this mess can not be
fixed by words.
Words are what brought me down.
All catching up to me.
Those middle school jokes
that have turned into truth.
I cant even look you in the eye.
Is that what acceptance means.
What do we fear
What do we fear
Something no one wants to hear
Not that home has become estranged
but that it will remain the same
So we fall in love
Just because
and just before we go
Because who knows
We might need a new reason to come home
My oh my , dear oh my
Why sole me , deliberate shy
Arrouse me in meself inner sanctum
To cause penises go wild erectum

Why me frail and naive
Touched and grabbed feels so tactile
Breached and pinched gets me unleashed
Fortold and shadowed narrows me leached

Oh how i humble and crumble for pain
Pleasuring may not be enough, but not in vain
Showering me until it rains
Pumping my blood through my veins

Widely and unique i scorge and emerge
Make me *** till i purge
Bright and shiny i humbely traverse
For a non-stoping reverse
And a woman who held a babe against her ***** said, "Speak to us of
Children."

And he said:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit,
not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you
with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that
is stable.
 May 2013 Robert Ueda
STB
youth
 May 2013 Robert Ueda
STB
With each glimpse
I linger on the smile of your youth
not yet captured by your wreckless nights

Let me pluck you from this world
and seal you away from time
behind the shield of my two cupped hands

Oh how I wish my blood
could dissolve the scars upon your wrists
because I would give a pint
for every hug and kiss
not given to you
when it should have been
Written Winter 2012
 May 2013 Robert Ueda
AK Neu
I once read
that if a poem
hasn’t got anything
meaningful to say,
it ought to,
at least,
rhyme.
This one doesn’t.
An original work of A.K. Neu.  Please do not steal.
 May 2013 Robert Ueda
Dean Evans
On this sacred soil
I water with tears
But in this ground
I bury my fears
And on my knees
I carefully prune
Weeds in my heart
That choke out the tune…
Of a new song
My son Christopher took his own life on September 13,2008
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