It'll be too late for words
Every and any action
Will fall short of useful
You won't get to know me
See the size of my heart
In subtle actions
With no real benefit
Besides a smile
I don't know how I'll do it
Let alone when
I just know it will happen
When I **** myself
Don't think anything of it
No moment of silence
A prayer whispered
Allow me to be that person
That you never knew
Passed by once or twice
You gave no notice to
Even when he held the door
When I go
You'll be on my mind
Either chased out by lead
Perhaps deprived of oxygen
Even surgically removed
Scalpel never scarring
Everything certainly deleted
With all the viruses
No reboot or reinstallation
When I **** myself
I'll have nothing to say
No note
No apology
No real deadline
I'll be a name
Stamped on stone
Engraved in paper
Beside two dates
No one will ever remember
I'll die just like I lived
Alone praying
I'll find the strength
To hope tomorrow is better
When I **** myself
Leave me to the wind
I'll kiss your cheek
When you need fresh air
I'll be the motion of nature
Waving tree limbs
Just so you're mind can escape
When I **** myself
I'll be there for you
Still trying for a smile
When I **** myself
I'll be taking the parts of me
I gave each of you
When I **** myself
You might realize
I know how little I meant
So if you still want an explanation
I'm just making room
For someone else to grow

I grew tired of asking
What it would be like
When I'm no longer there
Not within range
For you to touch
For you to say hi
For you to hear from
For you to think
You saw me on the freeway
Or able to pick up
When you're broke down
Trying to hold it together
Wanting to get away
I won't be there anymore
Can't run out the door
So don't take it personally
When my feet sway
Parallel to the floor
It wasn't anything you did
It wasn't any reason why
I just felt I had to die
There wasn't anything
I could do to be better
I tried to avoid it
But it haunted me anyway
I was always going
Never knowing where
But I'm leaving
And I know when you learn
I'll be too far for you to stop
So save your tears
Forget all your fears
I'm exactly where I should have been
I'm leaving
Don't worry I'm fine
Nothing anyone could have said
Would make it easier
I just hope you find strength
To carry on through the day
Sorry I couldn't stay
I just had to get away
From the me I was becoming
Always running out the door
Just to find a purpose
That kept my feet on the floor
Now they're parallel to it
As I take my leave
From all the pain
I've gotten familiar with
I grew tired of wearing
My heart on my sleeve
So here's an I love you
Before I hit the road
I'll try to send a postcard
But where I'm going
I doubt has an address
Here's the PS just in case
I'm sorry for going
Now that I'm gone
Don't let a tear leave
I wasn't much of anything
Even though I meant something to you
I just couldn't stand
The fighting in my head
Every 2x4 snapping
As my mind caved in
I couldn't take it anymore
That's why I locked the door
And my feet sway
Parallel to the floor

Herd of voices
Thunderous teeth
Beating eardrums
Orchestra of vocal cords
Choir of inharmonious chatter
Battle of the mind
As the body begins it's rebellion
It's a mutiny
Paranoia creeping
They're all against me
Every voice
Each individual personality
Even those with silver tongues
Whispering sweet lullabies
Simple distractions
To avoid the plot
They conjure in secret
I'm going to die
By our hand
Their wickedness
My fear
I'm schizophrenic
Towards the countless
Multiple personalities
Residing behind temple doors
One flinch
I'll take them all out
Before they take control
I hear the riot
On tips of tongues
I deny exist
Heed my warning
If I don't die physically
I'll die mentally
You'll see a shell
Of someone other than me
Do not peak behind the windows
You'll only witness madness
Dormant I wish they stayed
Yet their hunger
Knows only one limitation

For these feelings
Foreign are they not
Heed thy anchors call
As too many moons have passed
Since the last breeze
Clung to cloth bedding
Pulling further away
For the love of the sea
Is stronger than the warmth
Any woman may bring
For her bounty may be blue
Yar to be warned
Her ***** be ever vast
Foreign are these feelings
Not
Foreign is the care
Not
Why your smile still
Stings at my heart
You shouldn't be aqui
In these butterfly sails
Causing mutiny upon me
My vessel battered
Wars have waged
Blood staining the bow
Cannons still smoking
Smell of gunpowder
From daybreak's call
Almost resting in the depths
Davy Jones locker
A too close encounter
I've sailed those waters
One too many past the 7
I know the fate
Dead men tell no tales
Where land stops
Nothing begins
You'll see what I mean
When your crew
Never reaches
The same port again

I undervalue myself
While overvaluing
Everything around me

That first shot you heard
Wasn't to the brain
The second shot was
All intentions when loading
Closing each channel
To this reality
Heart, Mind, Soul
1 round each
3 round clip
I'm finishing this out
Homicide a suicidal thought
****** on my mind
Got a 138 personalities
Genocide I guess
I'll fill a mortuary
Create my own cemetery
Send flowers from hell
My heart hurts constant
My mind adhd on crack
My soul fatigued
1 round each
3 round clip
I'll put them out of misery
Call it selfish
Call it brave
You'll each have an opinion
So plant me
Like the **** I tried growing
Caring for you all
No thought of myself
Cashing in death
While I sell out life
I'd rather accept the truth
Then live a beautiful lie

Just filled up
Ready to conquer
Miles upon miles
Stretched out
Untamed asphalt
Awaiting me
Yet I watch
Ever so diligently
As "Full" gradually drops
3/4
1/2
1/4
1/8
Dancing on E
Soon to be stranded
Thumbs out
Thigh might shake
Maybe a laugh
Will get someone to stop
Help me put fuel
In a tank ran dry
It won't help now
My gauge has been broke
I rigged it to be on "F"
When it's really bone dry
I've been running
On a tank stuck on E
No amount of prayer
You whisper in idle hope
No supply of hugs
You discount tirelessly
This gasoline engine
Intent on starving
Rather keep going
Depriving all maintenance
Oil leaks
Transmission slipping
ECM haywire
Throwing endless codes
Mechanics can't figure out
This one here
Ole Reliable
Old Faithful
We'll call her Betsy
Somehow
Someway
With a tank on E
Your destination you'll get to
Run ragged
Throttled till the lifters knock
Patiently dying quicker
Holding out
Till that one mechanic
Actually will take the time
Put forth the effort
Ever so effortlessly
Running part by part
Through and through
Fixing what needs it the most
Just so the gauges won't lie
And the performance
Will be dramatically improved
What more do you expect
When you got a tank
Stuck on E
And nowhere to fill-up
Where the price
Actually matches the sign
Or the quality of the fuel
Is genuine in it's conviction
To get you there
That place you need to be
Where the fuel is abundant
Maintenance is easier
All attention is set
On the perfect match
Between your fuel station
And my vehicular heart
Always wanting to go
Just no destination
Or company for enjoyment
Just a tank on E
Waiting for the towtruck
With salvage on the side
Crusher it is
Even if it runs and drives
No use without the fuel
To keep it going