I'll be able to go back
To that beach
To that moment
Where life had meaning
My future had a value
Someday..
I'll feel the waves caress my skin
I'll taste the breeze
Chase shadow of every seagull
Witness that sunset in her eyes
someday huh
Every dreamer has to dream
Someday
I'll know why she called herself a mother
I'll know why she couldn't say no
Hopefully my hatred will die with her
All I know is I miss the things so far out of reach
I linger on those that bother me
Watch as everything crawls under my skin
I want to go back to that beach
Scratch my head
Ponder on everything familiar
Wonder about everything I'll learn

Ageless demons
Etched on the wrists of youth
Sorrow carved on thighs
Skirts growing longer
Depression erasing the sun in their smile
Time lost at the end of smoking barrels
Where did love end
That caused hatred to infect innocence
Insults added to injury
Injury no longer helping
Death seeming to solve temporary problems
Yet they still follow
Why do mouths scorned continue to move
While mourning tears cease to exist

Yes
No
Maybe
Would it be so
Could it be
Do bees sing
Elegant songs of sorrow
Perhaps motivation
Wrong
Right
****** would be poetry
Life wouldn't be death
All signs would point to somewhere
But nowhere at the same time
I'm making sense
Its your own sense
Nonsense
Be it may
A merry go round
Where one thing is two
But none in its own sense
Its rudimentary
But still elementary
Get it?

Dancing on silence
Fields of crimson
Let loose their timid wings
Feathers in the night sky
Pedals on the wind
Finding home on our bedroom floor

Keeping me awake at night
Tossing, turning, gears churning
Funerals filled with tears
Swimming pools of sorrow
Caskets carried away in the current
What would happen when I'm gone
Who will my kids become
Who will she marry after I'm gone
Does this life really end
Do I time travel every time I close my eyes
Will I open them come first light
Or will that dark void finally devour my soul
Did I ever exist when tomorrow comes
Guess thats my question
Is it the seconds before me I fear
Or the moments that I'll never enjoy
Scare me the most
Everything fades but why does it hurt so bad

If I had a magic hour glass
That could rewind the times
I'd relive the days of going to school
Back when I had a reason to socialize
When friends came in the call of your name
Across halls and thrown out on the gridiron
I would have enjoyed it more
Knowing then that things really do get better
I would have picked up my chin
Faced reality bc I was pretending
I was looking down on the earth
Watched my steps closely
Precatious of never letting them see me fall
Practiced ballet to be leary of pranksters feet
If I had a hour glass
I'd write to myself and say it was better
Even if it doesn't seem like it
Another breathe is worth breathing
When dreams are achieved
Instead of bought
I'd try to enjoy the friends I had
While they were around
Would have laughed more
But its the little things we forget to enjoy
We seem to regret

The drums beat
People screaming
Adrenaline rushing
"Throw Me Somethin Mista!!"
Beads, cups, candy
Raining goodies
Float after float
Drink after drink
A city where the party never ends
Voodoo blues growing bluer
Every mile I drive further away
Still feeling the spirit of New Orleans
Burning in my chest
The swamp trying to flow through
Archaic veins always yearning
A new thrill
Yet here the thrill never ceases
Trumpets, trombone, tuba, snare
A succession of bands
Mask, costumes, cheers, beers
Voodoo blues tempting my return