Questions no answers
All these things
Beating on my skull
You're the only one that can help
But you hide
So why should I try to continue?

What it was like to cry
The way tears ice cold
Would feel acidic on my cheeks
Rolling down my face
Children playing on hills
What it was like to smile
The way lips still pink with life
Would bend upwards to my ears
Bringing joy to my face
Balloons inflating at each corner
What it was like to laugh
The way sounds echoed from my belly
Would sound amazing early in the morning
Pushing for you to enjoy
Annoying children wanting attention
What it was like to love
The way she smelled after a shower
Would drive me crazy as my nostrils flared
Begging to be brought closer and remembered
Homeless people with their hands outreached
What it was like to be complete
The way it gathered my senses
Would echo only my worries
Knocking on every door in the corridors of insanity
Orphans just looking for love
I forgot all these things that started me
Just empty shells and broken glass remain
Cardboard homes and lost hopes
Gathering in my abyssal chest
A void trying to be filled
I forgot what it was it was like
To have a heart and offer it to another
A meaningless sacrifice
To a god that never existed
Aztec myth and Neanderthal paintings
A warm embrace
Just a clash of two bodies now
Love no longer a word
Lost definition in my dictionary
What's the point of trying
When every perspective is misguided
Lies piled on each other
I'm tired of this memory I possess
I only want to remember what its like
To be human once more
No longer this monster
Intent on feeling nothing
Shows how much fear I own
To hide from more pain
Pain I couldn't dare burden myself with
I dont want to back
Back to the scars and puddles of blood
I want to go forward and be happy

Its almost ready
In 5...4...
I can feel it
The spotlight growing brighter
Everything is on me
I'm the star of this one man show
Its always been me
Just me and the friends I create
The voices I put names to
3...2...1...
ShowTime!!
Sound of the gun emptying
This Shakespeare play starting
The way all others end
I shouldn't run
For the first time im a holy man
The curtains close
Ready for act 2
5...4...
There's so many chapters
Too many loves
Oh so many more lives
Wasted wondering how this will end
It seems so simple
The answers before you
I'm a false Romeo
Looking for my Juliet
I'm Macbeth hungry for power
3...2...1...
The stage is set
Audience vacant
Only mannequins attend
Production still going
My mouth moves
Yet words make no sound
Its a silent film
In slow motion
Fast forward please to where I'm happy
Where love attends all acts
But I'm misguided by a wish I made
On a star that went out
Call the curtains
Hand me the loaded gun
I'll send you all off
With a au revoir and **** it
Trigger slams back
Curtains fall
Standing ovation
Only 2 acts
My name was recited
Age was announced
And the reason this was another tragedy
The stage was set
I put on a play
Pretending to be happy
Knowing all to well
I'm nothing in the eyes of society
Another corpse
Another obituary
Another paycheck
Director will call cut
And my job is done

To foolish ideas
I bid good riddance
To these emotions
I find you repulsive
To this pack of smokes
I couldn't be happier to see you go
To these old picture frames
Holding all the memories
I so desperately want to leave behind
To these ways I've adopted
Thinking I'm something more
Then a stoner and a heartless fool
To these scars
Holding back the pain
To what defines me
I'm simply saying goodbye
I'm saying farewell
I'm packing my bags
Heading away from here
I'd rather be a homeless nomad
Then a miserable man
Everything has became a chain
Weighting me down
Slowly pulling me into the abyss
The Mariana Trench of depression and fear
I'm nothing more then a heartless ****** fool
And thus I bid farewell
To live my life alone as such

Some day the old bards
Will gather round from afar
Sing in unison the story
Around the great fire
Of the hunter and his beloved
Miles apart they managed to love
How she became weary of his absence
Began to love another man
One more closer to home
Less likely to leave for a hunt
One day the bards of old
Will sing how the hunter
Became a war god
Hungry for blood
Bleeding his anger
From the veins of all in his way
All he ever wanted was taken from him
It was never meant to be
She never truly loved him
She only loved the idea of him

I looked into your cold, cruel eyes
as you laughed in the certainty of my demise
you said that you're a broken man but you wanted to break me
as you walked away and left me with your misery

you built me up to knock me down
leaving nothing but a single memory
of your lips as you spoke
I cannot wait to watch you drown

taking pleasure in the carnage of the weak
the only love you've ever felt is for the havoc you wreak
you claim that love has ravaged your sun
you forgot the one who loved you is on the run

you built me up to knock me down
leaving nothing but a single memory
of your lips as you spoke
I cannot wait to watch you drown

I gave you my heart
it wasn't enough
I gave you my soul
you ripped it apart
you cry cause you're alone
you cry when you're alone
you reap what you will sow
you've reaped what you have sown

you built me up to knock me down
leaving nothing but a single memory
of your lips as you spoke
I cannot wait to watch you drown

all you wanted was to break me
all you wanted was to break me

He had a name
Nobody cared to ask for
Smiles filled with disgust
Pity stained their eyes
Business men passing by
No hand reached out
Just another guy who had it all
Lost it when the needle pierced his veins
Gorgeous women avoiding
Afraid they'll become ugly by association
His name was John
He had a wife and three kids
Left him when he started his addiction
He wasn't proud of the times he spent
Beating her in front of the kids
Throwing plates and fights over nothing
Cheating became a way of life
An affair turned into a divorce
A box by the garbage next to the 99 cent store
Saw him one day
Mom told me not to talk to strangers
But he had a face that said hello
I asked his name
He only said I should go away
I gave him the dollar
The very one I got from the tooth fairy
Just that morning
He mustered a tear and said he couldn't take it
I insisted he use it for a can of beans
He bought ramen
I didn't blame him
Not everybody likes beans
I met him the next day
Asked his name again
He just shooed me away
So I asked if I could buy his name
Another dollar pulled from my pocket
He said his name was John
And then I realized why I liked him
He was just like my dad
Scraggly beard and an appetite for money
I asked him why he was there
He asked if I had a ten
I couldn't pay the man so he didnt tell me
The next day I was eating a pb&j;
He asked for a bite
So I brought him a loaf of bread
The peanut butter and jelly
I told him I didn't know how to make one
And I dont like sharing my food
He only laughed
A laugh so priceless
I knew he was a really nice guy
A cop came just moments later
Asked where my parents were
I told them exactly where
John said he didnt want any problems
And then I told the cop
Something that shocked both of them
He's my friend John
He's homeless and likes ramen
I might not know everything about him
But he's kind and makes really good pb&j;'s
Officer I dont want to go home just yet
The officer shook Johns hand
Gave him a twenty and said have a good day
John gave me a hug and said thanks kid
He told me his story
Told me everything about him
He was born 06/17/1961
Unfortunately he passed away today
01/04/2016 at 5:15am
That very same officer found him
Died of a heart attack
No one knows John
The only thing he never told me
Was his last name
He probably thought no one cared
John taught me that any moment could be your last
Don't ever get cocky
Makes your head too big and makes you stumble
He taught me that even the less fortunate
Are humans just as well
They hold stories nobody knows
They contain wisdom beyond comprehension
I loved John
He is and will always be a dear friend to me
He was a great friend
Even though the world saw a failure
I saw a man that was put through the ringer
Went 12 rounds with life
I saw a warrior
Even if his name wasn't John
He was my friend
Here's a pb&j; for you man