Which would be easier
Less noise
Which would be swifter
I'm in a killing mood
This man staring back at me
Seems to only taunt ne
We're both ready for a fight
But can't seem to choose
Our weapon of choice
9mm or a 12 gauge
Maybe I'll blow a hole in his chest
But I just want to erase that smirk
That evil vile smirk
Smeared on his face
Paint to a childs drawing
**** it
12 gauge it is
Looks like he decided too
Same weapons
Guess we both die
But there will only be a call
For one body bag

I can hear them in the distance
Sounds of their engines roaring
The hounds are on me
Flashlights and pistols aimed at me
Its just moments away
No point in running
Its all over
My life
My future
All those memories I promised her
Fading away
The closer they get
I can see them
Blue lights flashing
They wanted me
I'll sit on this cold asphalt
Waiting for those steel bracelets
To cup my wrist with anger
Its all over
Tin gods with badges and a gun
Surround me
Birds of supposed justice
Feed on my carcass
Draining the remaining hope I had
Of finally make something of myself
I'll be another soul
Cast out of society
Ex convict with nothing to show
Just tattoos and stories from jail

I took a shower in the dark today
Fully clothed under the warm water
Let it soak through every piece
Running down my face
As I sobbed
Screaming
I had an emotional breakdown today
All of my emotions pouring out of me
Every ounce of sadness and pain
Leaving my dry throat
Painful echos of the screams
Of my mother's death
I hurt myself again today
Let my anger and pain take over
Pulling out my beautiful blade
Let it run down my arms again and again
Leaving angry red lines
I left purple and yellow spots
I gave up today
Stopped holding it all in
For a couple of lonely hours
Left my sanity somewhere
Down the bathtub drain
There it goes

Whispers on moonlight kisses
Shadows crossing bridges
Silhouettes of this life
Forgetting I'm existing

I guess instead of writing poems
I'll tell you the story
Behind the name my mother gave me
I'm Tommy
Father in jail for ******
Mother single and struggling
3 eviction notices in past 8 months
How does one survive turmoil
With a world so violent
16 years I've watched my mother deteriorate
Lost 9 when she drove down the road
Filled with needles and spoons burning
Candlelight now scares me
One bedroom apartment
Sleeping with your mom
You realize her fears follow her into her dreams
I can't protect her
I can't do anything for her
I'm a useless nuisance
Only bleeding her pockets drier
But I'll write till I'm famous
Write till she sees I know her pain
I can't tell you I'll be any good
I'll only try to give her the life she deserves

Look at your phone
Three to four times
Hoping for a text
A single call
Perhaps a notification
People you love or know
Forgetting you exist
Emotions of paper
Just the same old *******
You felt two days ago
Its all repetitive
Everything I know
Its deja vu
I wrote poems
To forget myself
So the world would remember
Who I was
But the world changes
I'm a lonely record
Broken, stuck on repeat
My life seems to be the captured image
Of broken glass
There is no fixing
Maybe I really am
Just losing who I am
When words fail
To escape me
And I can no longer
Explain how I feel
I'm truly lost
Because its all so repetitive

Another sip
Another ****
Fading into the haze
Of my own self destruction
You act as if I'm human
That I can be hurt
That I'm not willing to suffer
Just for your own entertainment
I'll pave my own path to my early demise
Dont think you can help
I'm miles ahead of you
You're only just beginning
Polishing the fingernails of deaths hand
I've felt them
While I fade into my eternal oblivion
Another bottle down
Another cigarette smoked
Maybe I'll continue
Driving this dead end road
At 90 miles per hour
Fading once again
Back into the man I used to be
The man I'm always meant to be
Now I'm wondering
Was the psychic right
Will I ever see my 31st birthday

I've poured my heart and soul
Into puddles before your feet
Told you in secrecy I loved you
Like a villain I roam these streets
Foraging for an existence
I can call my own
Yet all I've ever found was heartache
And even more broken glass
To fill the lost fragments of my chest
I just want to be acknowledged
Told I was loved
Even if you didn't
I told you countless times
I would always be there
Yet you vanished from my arms
Like smoke to lungs
I hope your happy now
Deep in the arms of a man
Who only loves what lays between your thighs
I maybe mad
But never once was I stupid
I know the look in a desperate mans eyes
When ***** doesn't come cheap
And your so willing
To think he loves you the same