A shadow cloaked in mystery
Sometimes lives longer than the sea

Tick tock
This stupid clock
Tortoise hands running by the seconds
158 days still too long
18 here I come
Candles already know the wish I'm going to make
Cake is cutting itself
Eating it will be no problem
Ice cream cake from Dairy Queen
Yumm ;)
158 days and counting down
Waiting to hear the BOOM
18 makes when the door hits the ground
Screeching of car tires
Sirens blaring behind me
Across sixteen states
Cops singing their song
Bad Boys Bad Boys Whatcha Gunna Do
When They Come For You
I'll press the pedal through the metal
Let the world choke on my dust
158 days & counting down
Catch me on the news
You'll never hear from me again
A ghost will be pushing that 454

If I could give you everything
It still wouldn't be enough
The most important piece
Scattered across continents
Sunken treasure at the bottom
Of a never ending sea
Turned to rust as it gasped for oxygen
If I could give you everything
Everything wouldn't be everything
With a broken, missing puzzle piece heart

"Guilty"
That's what the gavel screams
Echoing on the steel bracelets
Bolted to my wrist
"Guilty"
Convicted of 32 counts of ******
403 counts of manslaughter and torture
Unanimous vote by the laughing jury
Eyes struck cold with the fear
A mass murderer before their eyes
"Guilty"
Solitary confinement for me
*******, bolted, and chained
To four walls playing ghost in my ears
Whispering the verdict
"Guilty"
****** weapons found in my hands
Set fire to the bodies
So they couldn't laugh anymore
Played cat and mouse with their tongues
My scars aren't a joke
Yet I still hear the laughter
Driven mad enough to hear
"Guilty"
32 kids, 68 adults, 303 other voices
I had to silence
I couldn't take it
The laughter, paralyzing glares
Smiles embedded in ruby eyes
"Guilty"

I'm not benching 290 for nothing
It's easier than cutting cake
More natural than breathing
Yet recently my shoulders
Are bearing to much
Unloaded all at one time
I'm caving in from head to toe
I don't need a spotter
I need old friends
The ones I turned to
When times got rough
When weights were over bearing
When I just wanted to rack the weight
Take a shower and drink a powerade
Yet they're gone
Nowhere to be found
Guess I'm all alone again
Suffocating tonight between the weight
And my blood stained pillow

Smiles fill today
While razor-sharp teeth
Flash themselves from behind tender lips
Yes I'm scared of tomorrow
Because the end of today
Brings me one step closer
To the world filled with the unknown
Mother and Father trying to protect me
Saying they're getting me ready
Yet they don't know what tomorrow holds
I'm scared of it
Will I fall?
Will I see four walls one made of steel?
Will I walk through fire
Or slip on the icy heart of the streets?
Tomorrow is unknown
Today is almost over
Yesterday was simpler
Let my life go backwards
At least I know what it held

Bang!
Sound of the 45
I stuffed in my mouth
Swallowed the barrel
Reaching it far enough back
To silence the voices
Drank the gunpowder
Inhaled the smoke
Ate the bullet
Filled myself with death
Suicide freed me
I'll do it again later