Nightmares everyday
Lined with hands reach for my throat
Shady smiles trustworthy at the least
Cerulean eyes turned ruby eyes
Corrupted with the loss of blood
From scars gaping
Black hole hearts wanting my insanity
Why can't I be sane?
Don't I deserve that?
No I don't
Because what doesn't **** you
Makes you stronger
What a load of cliche
I can't be sane
I wouldn't be me
Mystery Girl said it herself
Honestly I don't like being me
Does Walmart, Office Depot, the Mall
Sell lives at a low price?

Sit me down at the bar
I'll take a Jacks on the Rocks
I need it strong
Stronger than you've ever made it
So make it a tall glass
I'll be here for a while

Hey bartender pour me another
Let me tell you why I'm here
I walked out of a church
I was suppose to get married today
She's a beautiful women
Smart, ****, Sensitive
Couldn't ask for a better woman
I walked out because I'm not marriage material
I wasn't meant to be a husband
Not to someone as incredible as her
She deserves a man
Aiming, truly willing to be by her side
Through the thick and sick days
I'm leaving to go to war
For a country that turns their back
On the men and women sacrificing
The things and people they love

Hey bartender
I'm going to need another
This buzz isn't strong enough
***** it put a little Jose Cuervo
He'll spice this buzz up

See bartender I may be a stupid man
But I know what's worth fighting for
She is worth every bomb exploding
Every soul my AR15 takes
I'll be the grim reaper in any country
As long as I know she is truly safe
I guess I should attend my wedding
The same way I'll attend my brothers funeral
Filled with sorrow and love
Another son is going to war
With a bottle and for a woman
A son that might never come home
The way she wants me too

I want to write for me
Not be conflicted
Between the thought of another relationship
Or the dark, twisted demon
Scurring under my flesh
Elephants use me like a park bench
I just want to breathe
Without being on life support
I'm tired of walking a fine line of *******
Just write the raw emotions that made me
Not let them break me
I'm the poet not the poem
Words shouldn't destroy me
Come, conquer, and celebrate
The mind that they plundered
I walk a fine line of *******
I know what to let go of now
And what's important to hold onto

Everything & Nothing

I'm tired of walking fine lines
Puddles iced over
Deep enough to swallow trains
Cracking due to the bitterness
My reflections holds
I'm tired of walking with my hood up
A hockey mask on
And a silhouette of fear
Glued on my face
I just want to exist
Be free of the pressure
Write for me
Live because I'm worth it
Yet everything around me knows
Even the cracking ice
That I'll fall
Into the bottomless puddles
Watch as my reflection breathes life
The very life I failed in

I want to tell you how I truly feel
I'm becoming even more insane
I want to shower you
With the best poems I can write
Telling the world
Of the things I want to do with you
Live the life I was never given
My heart may be broken
Pieces missing
Scattered across the world
Due to how far I threw them
Thinking I was better off without them
I don't want to be another mistake
Every poem I write matches me
Incredibly and disgustingly flawed
I'm not a musician
I can't write you a serenade
Even though I would love to
You're ******* perfect
I enjoy trying to make you smile
Sure the days will come when I can't
I'm conflicted with the thought
That something as perfect as you
Is close to grasping
Yet I don't know what to hold onto
Or what I should let go of
My darkness made me
Your perfection awoken me
Realizing everything I learned
Was ruined from the start

You're divinely perfect through the bifocals I don't wear baby

I've driving smart cars on these roads
Passing up homeless emotions
This road is a one way alley
It seems like I'm the one loving
No reciprocation at all
Maybe I should let it run out of gas
Walk the rest of the way
Make an alley into a highway