She walks toward me in the bar on 28th street, and I glance in her eyes and see the expired contacts peer out at me from her listless pupils and cataracts. I see regret fogging the edges of her irises and the loss of what could have been a long and wealthy life to her father. He was terrible, I can see a belt flying through the air and landing on a teenage girl that snuck out one night she tried to leave but he kept her hidden in his broken beer bottles and white lies, the lies keep scratching at her throat shes sick oh shes so ill she needs a doctor, all skin and bones and her mother is crying and her breath is dying and her father is lying to the social worker at the door. she tries to scream but her cracked desert of a throat gives away and her mother hands her a cigarette and she inhales and vomits and her mother is screaming about wasting a good cigarette and a meal too but this girl's eyes are fading and the maggots wriggle under her skin and she’s lying on the floor and rotting, her lungs are back but she’s whispering to me about a boy that took her innocence away at fifteen, and how he called her a ***** and threw her dignity away, now she’s muttering about a baby that wasn’t supposed to be born and a man that hurt her hurt her and killed the baby and how the sister her sister and now she’s out of breath and wheezing about how her sister went to harvard and while she raked the yard her sister graduated and made a beautiful career and now she’s screaming at me with the last ounce of life that her father is dead and all she ever does is sit inside with her mother, smoking and reading last weeks newspapers but now her mother is dead and this is her first time out alone. She tells me this, with only her eyes.

Oh, in you is the answer
to the meaning of my life
and the being of my soul
for without you I am empty and void.
Oh, god who made heaven and earth
made your soul from pure love.
Oh, how you can draw forth my love
like no other.
You are the light that shines in my darkest night
and lights the dark corners of my heart.
With your love the dark and troubled waters
in my soul are calmed.
Oh, blissing to my soul!
you are a love creature
come down from heaven's golden door.
And many are the thorns
you have washed from my soul.
Oh, how can your heart so pure and clean
love this dark and troubled soul.
One who from life's dark and troubled waters was born.
Oh, the star that presided over my birth
has cursed me
because you are not by my side.
and I ever longing, and ever searching
for the golden way to make you mine!
Oh, the way is hard
and the way is unkind
in all my quest to make you mine.
It seems this world is shrouded in darkness.
Such an overpowering darkness that I feel
that presses upon my soul
and my heart withers
like some rose fresh and green
plucked up and thrown into an oven
hotter  than any known to man.
Oh, hold me in your arms
and say those words I long to hear
"Oh, how I love you so"
and cure this sickness within my soul
and let all sense of time and eternity be lost
as we pass all the days ever to be in our love
forevermore.

to myself,
i don't know what the purpose of this is,
but you need to stop drinking straight whiskey
just because the burn in your throat reminds you that
you are not a machine,
built to follow the guidelines of a "perfect life",
but you are alive.
if you want to feel something,
tell your mum you love her,
walk with no destination,
or laugh and live.
just don't buy whiskey next time.
from,
chloe.

For you
Who threw stones at me
Who plastered thrones on my way
Who assassinated my hopes and dreams
Who built walls in between my destination and myself
My Gratitude
Thanks from the bottom of my heart.


It’s because of you
I found my way
I knew myself
I found reasons to smile residing in your kingdom of hatred
I discovered peace within guns aimed at my chest
Yes,
I discovered the purpose of my birth
Reason to be alive-under the supervision of death
Without any doubt,you are the only one
who made me feel like I matter.


It's your greediness
that helped me to be generous
It's your act of shutting my mouth
that inspired to be the voice of voiceless.


So, tons of thanks Mr. Somebody
It is just because of you
I have learned to be cautious in every step
I have learned to hold my head high
I have understood the reason to be alive
And yes, I have learned to live a life.

Fairfax, whose Name in Arms through Europe rings,
      And fills all Mouths with Envy or with Praise,
      And all her Jealous Monarchs with Amaze.
      And Rumours loud which daunt remotest Kings,
Thy firm unshaken Valour ever brings
      Victory home, while new Rebellions raise
      Their Hydra-heads, and the false North displays
      Her broken League to Imp her Serpent Wings:
O yet! a Nobler task awaits thy Hand,
      For what can War, but Acts of War still breed
      Till injur’d Truth from Violence be freed;
And publick Faith be rescu’d from the Brand
      Of publick Fraud; in vain doth Valour bleed,
      While Avarice and Rapine shares the Land.

Do you like the way it makes you sick?
Do you swim in the nauseous waves?
How do you live through the guilt
How do you live through the shame
Do you get the feeling afterwards
That you're even more lost and sad
Than before?