Carburetors and gasoline
Driving in a puff of black smoke
Tread circles and burnt tires
Every minute or so I choke
Sizzling underneath the sun
With nothing but gray up above
The nothingness keeps me floating
In the nothingness I found true love

You're just a shade of invisible
I can see right through you
Are you even there or are you carried by the wind?
I call out your name and I hear the echo of
Empty rooms and the feelings deep within
Shudder the shutters
And make the branches creak
You're screaming but you're neverpresent
On a sleepless night streak
Upset and ****** red
Glassy eyes and shattered heart
You step back and I know this but I still reach out into the dark

Words don't mean anything anymore
They are as insignificant as each breath that you take
They mean nothing
Nothing.

You meant everything to me
Your words used to be my life
So beautiful
So true
But now
Now they fall on closed ears.
Your tongue hesitates to spit them out
You fights to steal them back before you make another mistake
At least someone cares for you

Grab your lighter and a pack of answers and run
To the edge of the white trash town we sleep in
Light one after the other and wait
Wait for me to come running or for the answers to start flowing or for God to reveal himself
I never do.
They never come.
He never does.
Draw in some more poison and spit that poison right back out at me.
In
Inhale the smoke
Damage the one ally you still have
The only thing keeping you alive
Out
Exhale the ******* that you wish you could say to yourself
But you're a coward.
That's alright
I understand
I've always understood
But your words had always made staying worth it
Not anymore
Bull-*******-****.
I've contemplated running
Hell I've even tried
But you look at me with those deep, deep blues and I stay
I stay right where I'm standing and I stare
I try to read those eyes
I can see it
The betrayal
You know your tongue has betrayed you
That ******* *****
But you won't admit to anything
Your tongue won't allow it
Your mouth only finds the strength to form around a cigarette
Burn out the life in you
Force yourself to cave
Collapse
Sacrifice for all the things you've said
For all the hurt you know I feel.
You bring me down and I bring you down
I hold you up and you, without knowing it, hold me up
The constant cycle intertwines us
I can't leave
How could I leave?
I won't and you know it
And so your words mean nothing.

Dark and looming

Symphonies creeping

My night cascading over my body

My day retreating from my heart

The warmth, with each breath, escapes me screaming

The tingling cold sets in quickly

Before my mind realizes

Before I can adapt

Completely immersed in a warm chill

A comforting darkness with only loneliness to keep me company

My thoughts are swarming and swirling around me

Protruding from every crack and chasm in my soul

Swiftly filling the spaces

Filling to the brim and I burst

Overflowing with a lust for wander

Full of wonder

Conscious
Consciously taking
And breaking

Subconscious
Subconsciously lying
And flying

Freeing and fleeing
From the hopes and despairs
Contradictions I've spared

My mind from
Inside I'm a conundrum
Slum

Streets and alleys that your mom warns you not to go down
But you go down anyway
Slinking and stinking
With the stench of up to no good
The new hood
Keep your white *** out of the darkness
Say nothin
Bring your black skin over and join the fun
Learn to run
Before the red and blue wise up
Don't let them.

Don't let me catch you
Don't let me catch you writing on the walls
Shooting up the streets
Dirtying the minds and corrupting the eyes of the young ones

I'll take it back
We will run this town
Take back what was never yours to begin with and rename it
"Heaven"

A white house
Modern with obnoxious windows catching the view of the Hollywood sign
A house in the hills.
Standing on the roof is a girl
Me?
I can't tell
Not from this far away
She is balanced right on the edge of the flat roof.
She looks over the edge and sees.
If she fell, she would feel the exhilaration
Only to crash at the bottom.
All things come to an end.

A man walks toward her.
He's not going to hurt her.
He has to much care in his step
To much love emanating from his body.
She begins to sway
Careful!
But she steadies herself.
He helps her steady herself.
A warm breeze blows it's way through their silhouettes against a California sunset
Gentle
Not enough.
They stare at each other
They talk
Then scream
She screams more
She is begging him to push her over

Why?!
Please!
Do you really want it?
Yes. I do.

He pleads with her more
Just a little bit more...
He musters up the strength to push her
She prepares herself for the rush.
One full gust of wind
One push
And she's off.
Her feet leave the ground
And she is falling.
Floating.
Is there really a difference?
He stands in relieved shock.
Awe
They maintain eye contact the whole way.
The connection makes it bearable
And equally unbearable.
She doesn't see her life as she falls
She sees him.
On her lips
All over her skin
In her hair
Around her neck
Over her shoulder
In her mind.
Her last thought before she opens her eyes...
He stands over her
Again?

Music takes me to different places
Makes me think of old faces
Spaces in between the lines I wish I had crossed
Traces of his scent lingering on my sweatshirt

It used to take me far away
Far from the cold place
The time in my life that was empty and a waste
I couldn't wait to get away

It would take me to the first summer I could drive
Blinded by the sunlight
Windows down and no one on sight
Warm air at the end of the night

Now it takes me to him
To the sweet fruit and the smoke
A haze all around us
The bass vibrating in my chest
By heart racing while he's next to me
The music taking me away; taking me with it
Everything that I feel when I'm with him excites me
The music
Oh how it reminds me