The wind came looking for him
and take him away it did, it took him away
I could only stare as he let go with ease
Up up up and away

I still felt him there, in his room
Maybe the wind had brought him back
It hadn't. It didn't. It wouldn't. It couldn't.
It flew him to the land where they don't turn back

I cried and shouted, screeched and thrashed
The ****** wind couldn't even dry my tears
It had blown away, had set on its path
Never again would he been seen back here

He had gracefully faded and had Let go
like a painting's colors run down the canvas  
That's ****** in the water without its will
And fade into lightness, darkness decompose
Losing their color, lighter still

He flew like a skeletal leaf
Snatched by the wind from its branch
he'd always been elegant, painfully intelligent
So he left with the wind, graceful till the last

see me bite into myself
see me strike my own health
i say i please people, but i hurt myself so
im the dark side of my glittery show

why is my discomfort so less to me
why don't i care for my misery
im a beautiful mat, that's what i am
please oh won't you walk all over me

i wriggle and rile and get agitated so
squirm in my seat but don't say a word
tying myself up, knots after knots
tired of reassuring others, have to stop

"It's not bad to be nice, now is it?"
I ask myself every time
as I bite my soul hollow,
such malicious, greedy bites

Please sit down, my friend
I'll be serving you in two
Fashioning up another piece of myself
To be oh so nice to you

We're living in a gyrating mass of alcohol
All fighting for skin on skin contact
Losing consciousness to animalistic instinct
Let's forget we're humans, let it all ******* go.
Gulp the fire and the teasing hell,
Shake your *** to the music again.
Touch me, touch, me I want to feel alive
While I deaden my mind, only skin feelin the drive.
And when I'm fired with that liquid, I bleed,
I cry tears of golden alcohol.
And when I'm burning with that fake happiness,
I'm laughing under an influence that's bound to fall.
So touch me, kiss me, lick my neck
that's drying with your ****** alcohol so fast.
I set my mind on fire and it burned,
But I kept gyrating with the ashes in my dance.

I think  of your memories as a rope tied from my ankle to
the dank wall that is my past
And I pull against it with all my weight
I clank my chains to catch attention for help;
Someone does rush up to untie me and as I stand freed from these bonds temporarily
I hear the dooming footsteps of your memories approaching yet again
I ask myself-
                       Will you ever let me go

She called last night
After months of radio silence

The first ring
Why? why was she calling?
Did she need anything?
that's why she'd usually called earlier
Did she even deserve my help?
She was the one who stopped
Stopped talking stopped calling stopped sharing
Nothing. just nothing.
like I was nothing
like we'd been nothing

The second ring
Why the hell was she calling?
how dare she?
I should just pick up and scream my head off
hurt her with my voice as much as she hurt me with her silence
or I just shouldn't pick up at all

the third ring
What's the whole point?
She'll listen to my rant with manufactured concern
and when I have bled everything out
when my bones have been robbed of the anger that galvanised them
she'll crumble these bones to dust
with a 'sorry'
and it will start all over again

the fourth ring
Maybe it could start again
once she apologises, we can talk
I won't be emotional, I promise
I will be cool, more detached
it's just fun to talk to her
I just won't have any expectations

the fifth ring
It could work this time..
I mean, this plan didn't work the last time she came back
Or the time before that when she returned
Ugh maybe I should just let it ring.

the sixth ring
You know what I'll pick it up
I can do this
I'll just find what she wants
It'll be okay

*My hands reach out, trembling
About to click on that green button
And the phone stops ringing.

The world is falling asleep on me
Everyone gets their heavy burdened body
Lands on the mattress with a thump and unloads
All their troubles on me
And hey, I'm not complaining, a bed is made to be used
And it's good to be needed, isn't it?
But just sometimes it isn't enough;
Standing solitarily with the weight, oh the weight
There is nothing and no one I can turn to
Or maybe there is but I just like wallowing in self-pity
Either way, all that I know is that the pressure, it's becoming too much
I might crack.

My edges got singed
Like the crisp paper charred
That sizzling noise
Sounded oddly like your voice
And the blackening is spreading
Like a slow poison
Ugly red blue flames licking at my skin;
The skin that used to sing at your touch
Or like a snake's parted tongue
Darting in and out, in and out
Slowly over my wounds
Lovingly licking venom over
The pained oozing blood

*I am singed
You set me on fire
And honey, it's not even the good kind

A teacher with a nasal voice
Droning on with as much passion
As we listen with; none.
The whirring and intermittent squeaking
Of the ceiling fan which has
roofed over God knows how many
Indifferent young bloods
That sat on these very benches
And contemplated, maybe over
Their own nasal voiced ghoul
Or how this wasn't true knowledge
Or maybe how nothing is worth it anymore.
These "guides" that force feed us facts everyday
Like a mental patient being fed his meds
I don't think I'll ever get out of this asylum.

I tapped on your door
To get your attention
And you opened it partially
I tiptoed in

You started humming to me
Beautiful music
And my steps became more sure
Less trepidation as they hit the floor

And your wings stretched,
your music, it roared
My feet twirled,
seeing you, I soared.

But you started beating the air
Way too fast
My legs started shaking
But I was still trying to dance

But I slipped and fell
On the marble where I'd used to fly
I stretched my hand to you for help
But all the music had died

You'd walked out of the door
I was left locked in
Bet you hadn't seen me dance
To whatever music you used to bring

If you'd just gazed once
I'd have have danced to anything.
I would've danced for you, hon
But you forgot to sing

Don’t remove the weights from your tongue
Don’t unlock the chains from your mouth
Silence is mostly better than words
Your silence to me is devout

Before your utterances destroy us
Before they tear down what we’ve fought for
Stop and listen that I don’t want to
Know how you ripped my heart out

Let’s just stop and fall
Into this flowery hole of lie
Delusion atleast never hurt anyone
Our reality will only make me cry

So don’t say anything, don’t go ahead
Let the monotony not be stirred
Because Everything that needs to be said
Doesn’t necessarily need to be heard

Each month torn of,
pages upon pages;
confined by your past,
cages upon cages

Yes it's true
we all get a fresh page
but what if it's indented
By past writings and spaces?

Maybe we're all just
based upon our base
Defined by what happened
on a former date

But Still every day we try
searching hands, fingers reaching out
Almost there touching the imagined fruit
But still barely missing out

It's a rope made out
of roads we walked on
Chains made out
of things we dreamt and did
Clasped around our ankles taut
We'll never be able to close the lid

Thus when others see new dates
I see new maps to those old destinations
And when they open up hope's floodgates
I lock them up with familiar inclinations

I like being sad
Just some deep melancholy.
Those random reds
When you're sad for no reason
And lana del rey songs
Seem like odes to you
I harbour and nourish and cajole
This sadness.
My happiness seems lost without it
Like tiny ****** putting holes
In my body and instead of bleeding out
The air seeps in
Sadness is underestimated, really.
I finally see what he meant when
he was asked "why do you keep hitting yourself"
And all he said was
"Because it feels so **** good when I stop."

Whether you’re down or feeling blue,
Or you are burning with a passion red,
For every emotion there is a hue,
The colors of life, colors everywhere

Imagine the mush brown of the Earth,
Meeting the green of the trees,
Rising up to meet the dearth,
Of sadness and the blue skies

Oh! Whether you’re green eyed with envy,
Or are in the pink of health,
There is a burst of contrasting hues,
That account for nature’s wealth

It is God’s canvas, this world,
That’s painted newly every day,
And the colors are what we choose to see,
So what color are you going to be today?

One day I'll  over analyze to the stage of delirium
Hopefully that day is near
At least then I won't have to think of you

And then I realised what the problem was
You made me feel
You made me feel too much
And honey that's where it went wrong
Girls like me don't want love
They're too scared, too ****** up
You were like a Tsunami, drenching me
When I didn't even want to go to the **** beach
And so I ran, screaming, burning my lungs
You were too you
While I was barely me
So just take me dancing babe
Take my hand and
Then leave me stranded
It's so romantic.

I heard the smooth jazz music
When she walked by
Heard the instant drop in the sound
As she flashed a smile
Could vaguely hear the bass
Twinging real low
As she moved like water
Without even knowing so
It was tough not to fall
Splat! At her feet
All I wanted to do
Was hear her symphony
I don't know what I drank
Was it the starry champagne
Or was it her, the one who captured me senseless
The one I was trying to taste
She was an assault on my senses
The deadliest one there ever was
Would've welcomed death openly
Had it been from her dart
I looked at that haunting assassin
Smiling that dooming smile
Didn't she know what she did
When she turned her eyes
I wished almost painfully
That she would keep on playing that jazz
What else could I do but listen and stare
I never even stood a chance

Books should never end
They should just go on
Or perhaps have an interlude
That doesn’t leave us so forlorn

Protagonists shouldn’t die
They should just be glorified
Real life is death-oriented as it is
We should atleast have some worded bliss

Each chapter should just go on
Rather than feel the doom
Of the pages thinning into the nearing end
Ah the dreaded waiting gloom

Why weave such people that affect us
In more ways than we can imagine
Than take them away, reduce the meaning
Of the heartbreak from being abandoned

These writers are sadists, I tell you
And their words are instruments of torture
Molding lives instead of sentences
Transcending pages and penetrating lives

So to all readers I suggest
Reading will just make you obsessed
And to all authors I recommend
Write such books that never end

Do you know that feeling when
your heart is full
Of that horrible feeling
Everything is wrong
And your heart swells so much
That it's in your throat
And you might just throw up
Retch and retch and dry heave?
Yeah, neither do I

One thought plagues me
It fills me with doubt
What if I'm always the one who writes
Never the one who gets written about

What if I'm just made to observe
Not graceful enough to be observed
It keeps echoing in my mind's corridors
What if I'm just not enough?

It is in these moments that I run
Into the arms of empty hope
It nurtures me with the fact
That the future is unknown

For all I know I could be plaguing
Someone's mind like these thoughts plague mine
And if I'm not, well then
I'll choose a better role in the next lifetime

I've left and Ive looked back many times
It was fiery, too hot, not to mention
That I'm too ****** up
But seeing the huge stakes of fire
That I've left behind, I yearn
I want to come back 
Try to make it okay
But It can't be the same 
Oh It can't be the same
But I know that's not reason enough to stay away
But you see You can tape the mirror back up
But it'll only show you cracked pieces
Different reflections on what was once the same surface
And you see, the reason I don't come back
Is that I can't create havoc in your life like that
I've left once and now I must go on
Yes I want to come back, But I chose my wrongs
I can't just come barging in again
And bang on the walls you created in pain
So I'll just sit down on the crossroads from where I left,
because in order to unhurt you, I have to act deaf

It’s said your shackles
Are made to order for yourself
It’s said that the walls that hold you
Are made with your own cement

Why do you compare? Let. It. Go.
Atleast give yourself a chance to show.
It is true they have a lot. Things that you lack
But what you have, they can’t imitate. How’s that for a drawback?

So what if we’re broken?
Let our scars be our art
So what if we don’t fit in?
neither does the sun among the stars

The unique absurdities you have to offer
The beauty of The words you have
The sheer genius You hold within yourself
Makes up for all the lack

Oh let us leave the better specimens
In the worlds where they belong
And try to make the most of our world
Where it’s absolutely alright to be a little bit wrong.

You are haunted and confused
By a custom made hell
And your thoughts are a struggle
And your words don't jell
But I see you, all of you
Ive focused and pierced
Your words, old to the new
And like a case of torn muscles
You're setting fire to my insides
But the irony is that
I'm still a sucker for your eyes
The dead juke box that beats
Inside of my chest belts out
The Song of you again and again
And I am happy to be lost
The only itch on my deluded skin
That rises tenaciously again and again
Is you're already too full with gone women and games
And I know that all of us have our very own ghosts
But I'd rather be your haunting
Than be no one of note

A tempest rises and subsides within me
Building unfurling tumbling
It recedes to build itself up again
Hitting the walls within me
They are thinning, God knows how long they'll last.
Endless waves tossing and turning
I feel it all over myself prickling
Each breath shakes with this storm
And every ***** tickling
I finally exhale, the smoke (of my burnt insides), it seems
I exhale it all from within
And the smoke takes up another form
in front of my eyes, Writhing and slithering;
*It looks oddly like you.

As I watch her sleep
The moonlight seeps in from the window
And caresses her skin gently, just like I wish I could
Her eyelids flutter, chasing another dream
Causing her eyelashes to touch her cheek and go
Her chest rises and falls, so calm
Unaware of all the world's filth, her innocence hugs her like a white nightgown
She purses and moves her lips in silent speech
Those two rose petals that would be any gardeners delight
And when I say her name Even the sound floats like a feather
And lands softly on her ears
Only to roll off of them as she sleeps
and I keep on staring at my dream as she dreams away

Seeing what you wrote makes me want to write,
A poetic back and forth, if you will;
And I have all these words (the ones you'd like)
But I'd probably spill them all to shove them back in
Feeling what your words make me feel,
Makes want to be seen, to see whether I'm one of the many
Who fell in these words probably never to rise again
Or whether I am the one who stands out on your periphery
This is the problem with my ***, or maybe just me
I feel too much and hope too much
So while you go gallivanting with the bad broken pretty boy vibe
I'll just sit here and think of the words I'll never say to you
While hoping, maybe I'm the one you think of

We say we won't let them go
That we'll hold their memories oh so close
That their imprint will linger on our souls
When they aren't with us any more
But time passes and we forget
And there remembrances don't make you cry
You can even mention them with dry eyes
And shards of glass that their absence had become
Slowly soften their edges with time  
So we forget, we forget the pain
But we forget the joy of their memories too
And we move on, like life does
Trudging on with issues new
One day we suddenly think of them
Rather how we haven't thought of them in so long
And then guilt hits dressed up as nausea
Like we cheated on them and did them wrong
And see I'm scared that now that I've lost you
With time I'll even lose your memories
what if I forget you? I can't I won't
I don't ever want you to leave me completely

Carly's just blossomed
Now she walks with a wicked twist
And a knowing smile on her lips
While the boys look on
Because that's all they're allowed to do
To take turns to try who gets to woo her
Rather they take turns getting rejected, no one gets to her
She knows what she does to them,she does it a lot  
but who can blame her it's the fault of her lot
She was a lonely child, shunned and ridiculed
Her eyes, still hungry, are dried up pools
So she exchanges love for lust
She tries to get their attention not their trust
She feeds manically on their desire
And the way they want her so
All she does is flash that 'innocent' smile
And the boys keep coming back for more

My control stood far, staring back at me
External locus, controlled externally
Tried to soak it back inside
That ball of fire should've been in my eyes
Told my soul to let it go
The world and its chances don't define your role
The future's strings can never be in our hands
So we must grasp onto our own selves
And try to stand
And with that thought
My control disappeared from in front of my sight
It found its way to me, back inside

Let me pour you with the love
You adoringly drench me in
Lau your head on my chest
And cry away your pain
I'll hold it, I'll hold it all
Cradle your pain too
It's okay for you to fall
I'm right here to catch you
You can hold me tight
Like a child holds his mother
I can be your support
Anything for my lover
Give me a chance to embrace
You like you hold me
As if I'm made from glass
And could break easily
My arms wait for you and so does my empty *****
Lay your head on me darling
You can close your eyes and drift on

She walks the stony streets with the newly turned 19 steps
And sways her hips and licks those lips
The looks turn to stares their eyes look on
and she fills her inner dessert with their ***** dreams
Passers by whisper in their  all knowing indifference
She wasn't love as a child she likes to lash out and scream
Likes to be noticed for those suggestive smiles
They are like warm hugs, those staring and roving eyes
But she already knew that
Knew why her innards are always dry and she knows those leeches' attention is only passing by
But what can you tell someone so desperate to be adored
she does not want to be loved she just doesn't want to be ignored

I don't want to write about you
.
.
.
.
.
Yet again.

After one point of time cruelty stops making you cry instead love becomes baffling enough to bring tears to your eyes.