Wind, weather, and gain
Closure, vision, pain
Blood, intrusion, rain

All of them

Collect to connect
for intersecting
that leads to dissecting
of those thought provoking situations
that wind up choking
their creations

And God! I can't stand it


    So let me expand
Let you understand

We have been gifted with elements
and our elemental understanding is that the basics are not good
not enough
not for us

Not when we have pried open vaults that are not our own -
to follow a nightmare
illusioned as a dream with wings

but we loosened the seams
and now we sing
of a broken thing; the noise
doesn't quite drown the screams

   And we're losing
On this planet

! And the broken, they were born
In view of world still torn, forlorn
They've met scorn
as intrusive bodies situate themselves in a momentum
that doesn't require their skills
And the monster roams free
as the people cry "help"
in this place of mine
because they see

The response is a little too late.
We let the quiet soothe
And don't have to choose
When the rain chains their fate
and washes away
the entire State




I've been told: "You're gifts and talents are enough"
But it's never enough
and tear drops will roll

I'm begging for love to brush this soul
and sometimes I wonder who's in control

*And I panic

when I say that people make me anxious
I don't mean it in an I don't like public speaking way
or in an I'm nervous around groups of people I don't know way
both of those are very true
but my anxiety encompasses more than that

it's when 3 times within an hour I texted my best friend, who had assured me 17 times previously that he loves me, and he didn't text back and the fear that he didn't love me anymore because I am too clingy became an all consuming ache in my stomach
it's when after spending ten hours talking with a girl who'd told me that she avoids people she doesn't like and saying 3 stupid things in those ten hours that I couldn't fall asleep for hours afterward, not because of the residual butterflies of our interaction but because the weight of my sheets was the weight of those 3 things and I was trapped as my mind fluttered over them, over and over them, I convinced myself that that beautiful person would never want to spend time with me again
it's when I spoke one poorly worded sentence in class and my face burned like a forest fire and for days I smelled smoke every time I thought about how much my classmates must abhor me for speaking at all
it's when I  chewed the inside of my cheek to shreds while I didn't tell my brother that his misogynistic jokes weren't funny because I thought that criticizing his humor would remove me from the spot of favorite sister even though I'm his only sister
it's when I'm afraid that cutting my hair short will make me too gay for my mother to keep loving me despite the fact that drunk texting her on thanksgiving about a crush I have on a girl did not
it's when I don't wave at people first because when I do wave at people and they don't wave back I assume that they didn't wave back not because they didn't see me but because they don't like me
it's when my hands shook as I apologized to my doctor for being sick all the time
it's when I did't tell my therapist all of my problems because I don't want him to hate me for being so weak
if I were rain I'd apologize for falling because I apologize to everyone for everything that I am

people make me anxious because I love people and I want them to love me back
people make me anxious because I feel that I am too much and not enough
people don't make me anxious because of people, people make me anxious because of me

She was the Moon
And he claimed
To be the stars
Living around her

As dark as the night
They're up above
Sparkling their borrowed lights

Keeping each other company
While everything else
Gets too lonely

She may be whole tonight
But sooner she'll be
All torn into pieces

He may be a few now
But he'll be endless
Tomorrow

Never the same
Just like everything else

You won't see them
Come bright skies
But they're holding on together
Behind those blinding lights

We went to a reading
You sat leaned back
With your arms crossed
sighing at every read line
aren't they just so pathetic
The person reading begins to cry
reading his own words
I press forward
and rest my elbows on my knees
and my chin on my hands
I can still hear you
in my peripheral audition
trashing
nodding
rubbing your eyes
with your thumb and index
with that smile
making a show
of your disappointment
You were once in his shoes
reading your own work
self-conscious and vulnerable
full of doubt
and hate
Then someone called you "good"
then another
and another
and now you're this
The breathing image of what it
means to be a Poet
and aren't you just so **** *poetic

My babygirl cries
And I dry her eyes
As I see all the hurt
And the pain in her life.

My babygirl cries
As she tries to hide
All the lies she’s been told
That cause her to cry.

My babygirl cries
as I hold her tonight
To keep her from thinking
That she may as well die.

My babygirl cries
From all the times she’s tried
From all the love she has shown
And being broken many times.

My babygirl cries
In my arms as she lies.
She lies that she’s fine
And not broken inside.

My babygirl cries
For the harder I try
Nothing can keep her
From seeing my lies.