this is a downward *****
it is steep and unyielding
there are many bumps along the way

i fall, and i fall
the sharp rocks hurt;
now i lay at the bottom,
beaten and bruised.

and then i slip again

My dear, I beg of you...
Do not leave me.
I beg of you...
Do not abandon me,
As so many others have done.

Your heart calls to me,
Can you not hear it?
You're turning away from me.
My love, please...
Do not forget about me.

i'm afraid to be touched.
it reminds me of his hands
the way they took so much
i don't feel like me

i want to scrub my skin
scrub it until
all that's been touched
by him
is gone.

this isn't my body anymore
it's some hollow shell
the body of the little girl
who he took everything from.

why was a door left open
between my legs?

maybe when im older
i can change that.
close that door
that was left open for anyone to enter.

he smiled at me
my heart smiled back
i didnt smile
he left.

my dear
please,
tear me apart
im so fragile
im so small and pure
lay your hands upon me

you dont need it
but it creeps up
E V E R Y
S I N G L E
T I M E

its never enough
you need to feel
you need the clarity
the feeling of the cut
its easier than feeling

gentle smiles
hands brushed together
two young hearts
beat in unison

i look into the mirror
scream
what a sight to behold,
a beaten and battered version of myself
staring back at me
dark eyes showing nothing of what is felt
uneven hair cut with the blade stolen from the kitchen cabinets
nearly dried tears from the thoughts
of none other than
myself


but
if you were to look a little closer
if you were to dig a little deeper
look
you can find the remains
of a heart,
shattered by harsh words
and scattered by cruel actions...

words and actions
said and done by myself.

stealing glances, eyes meet midway

one's eyes are bright, yet ignorant
there is a beauty in their eyes,
but there is also uncertainty;
a beauty nonetheless

the other's are bright, but uncaring
misleading with outward beauty,
yet lacking the inward beauty;
a heartless, chilling gaze

i didn't understand
as i looked in the mirror
who was this?
surely it couldn't be me.