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All smiles, it hides his evil
Oh he's everyones friend
Warm with hugs
Used to invade your space
Sit on my knee
I'd rather die now
His hands are vile
I imagine killing him daily
Watching the life drain
My hands upon his throat
I will wait, i'm a child
I have not the power or the voice
He preys upon that
Scared to open the bathroom door
He lurks outside
He's just popped up to see if you're alright
A knee as hard as I can
Straight, fearful into his groin
His glasses hit the floor
He's not in control
PUSH NOW!
Downstairs he rolls
Every step vengeful
Bang after bang
Die you ******* leave us alone
He lies motionless blood from his head
His eyes open, oh god he's not dead
His wife runs out, tends to his head
He says he has fallen, the truth is'nt said
College years later was like being born again
Not having to see him, re living the pain
Then came the news, I had to go see
The reaper had come and the cancer was deep
I relished the days watching him die
As though in macabre it gave me my life
Once dead and burned others they spoke
He was a monster his wife did'nt know
He stopped touching others after "his fall"
I found at his funeral i'd ruptured his ball
I'm lost in a world I can never call home
For part of my childhood was stolen and gone
1993
"You're afraid of growing up."

Perhaps
but I see no shame in that
why would I ever want to grow up
if it means being
miserable
lonely
and drunk
like you,
Dad.
-
Sometimes life is a rollercoaster
Up and down fun that happens fast
Then start over waiting in the line
Some conversations great
On the mind get back on the ride
Waiting in line for a turn
The sun beating down what a burn
Like life people go through
wait to get what they want
The rush taste of temptation
A fix to feel adequate
Something that feels right
Hands free to enjoy the ride
No need to hide the feelings
All eventually comes out
In the end all feels like rollercoaster
Mixed emotions that make sense
to ***** on the finger of my body

youthere

is a small blood

a drooping bead

           of(hangs



in fracturing silence)

twixt rigidly supple youth
collects(



                    A



                                Bruise




                                                  Slowly



                                                                     Larger



                                                                                                   )





                                                                                  a
                                                                                 nd
                                                                                the
                                                                              moon
                                                                              playf
                                                                             ully is


                                                                   slender




                                                                                            crescented


                                                                 wiggles



                                                                                           hard


                                                                     with


                                                                                           my


                                                                           fingers



                                                                                    tightly

                                                                               in
                                                                                         it

                                                                               SCREAMS

— The End —