Your entrance door is shattered and tattered, yet you feel safe.
Your windows are now his eyes into all of your secret places;
But still you sleep in your prettiest negligees.
Your locks are just parts of brass adorning wooden pieces;
Although you think they are enough to keep evil and good balances even.
You walls are built high to the sky, impenetrable in your dark brown eyes;
But all he sees are clouds of smoke that will come down with the simplest of lies.
You feel all of safe and sound snuggled up in your warm bed,
Oblivious to the real world around you in instead.

What do you do when the one you love no longer loves you?
The one you've committed to now wants out?
The one you dreamed of growing old with grew tired of you.
But you can’t stop loving him, even though it’s killing you one heartbeat at a time.

Fall straight in line-
I make my
definition of normal!

You know it amazes me
how long I’ve known you!
It’s been some years, don’t you agree?
Conversing about this and that;
Casual chats over a cup of tea,
But crazily after all these years-
I don’t know you – you don’t know me!

You wore socks to bed- knowing it irked me.
Faced me while we slept- breathing your stinky breath in my face was a definite, guaranteed.
You loitered as I changed always trying to cop a feel- ignoring my agitated pleas.
You watched your wrist- telling me I’m late; of course, I forever disagreed.
Invited yourself to my TV time- talking to me as if I was free.
Told me I was beautiful; each and every day- annoyingly, times three.
Sometimes you had an ‘I’m the king’ attitude, and I was just your sidekick wannabe.

Sadly, I still wash all of your socks each and every week.
I face the fan as I sleep, so it dries my tear’s wet streaks.
I continuously pause while getting dressed- waiting to hear you make the floorboards creak.
I put on my makeup extra slow anxiously anticipating your frustrated shriek.
I turn up the TV’s volume hoping you’ll come interrupt to speak.
Waiting for your mushy compliments as I check the mirror at my womanly physique.
I made you a personalized crown, so you could be a king that’s honored and chic.
But silence and heartbreak are all that is left here to tweak.
You’ve departed this world suddenly, leaving my life confusing and disastrously bleak.
Now, your once irritating traits have become the only thing that my broken heart desperately seeks.

You were the first boy I called mine;
with your school smarts and **** physique.
Our first date I felt so grown up-
as night came and my curfew peaked.

At school with your arm around my neck-
I couldn’t stop smiling from ear to ear.
The kiss we shared told my heart
that it was OK not to fear.

You set up a private house date;
while your parents were out of town.
I was nervous and scared at first,
but then I slowly came around.

The secret night progressed quickly-
no time to fully weigh my thoughts.
Before I knew it, it was done
and my virginity was naught.

It wasn’t as I expected;
only a little pain then over.
I shyly whispered I love you,
but your mind left like a rover.

The next school day I saw you,
but you acted like I was no one.
I stood with a grin of a fool-
I saw I was only for your fun.

I shared a unique part of me-
I felt I did everything right.
But now I know I was too young
to lose my virginity’s light.

I could tell you every secret that you desire;
just come on closer to my raging fire.

I can show you the day your life will end;
all you have to do is give me your heart that lies within.

I can lead you on a path to unimaginable riches-
just give me some bodies to bury in my ditches.

You can have immense fortune and fame;
as long as you always call upon my name.

I can’t grant eternal life,
but your time on Earth will greatly suffice.

People declare I tricked them into my deal,
but the truth is- their own greed blinded them to see what was real.

Nothing in this world is free!

Money is worthless-

**Your soul is what I seek!

How do we fix that which has been broken?
When important fragments are dastardly missing!
Shall we mend it with what we can salvage and live with imperfections?
Or smash it to smithereens and say the heck with it?

You’re that unruly animal that has escaped its leash.
Wrecking havoc at every place you meet.
Your sparks Ignites a grotesque flame.
Setting blazes in total defame.
You can choose to spread beauty or hate,
but became things I should’ve **never spake.

I’ve started keeping your love stashed in jars.
Hugs, kisses, and words only; so far.
Your hugs are filled up to the brim- glittery twinkles of shimmery bits.
Your kisses can’t keep still on top of my shelf; it dances around losing itself.
Your words are my most prized possession, since I know that they are truly heartfelt.
On difficult days I visit my jars and sprinkle myself to feel the love we grew thus far.

Can’t you see me standing right here?
No worries, as long as you do what you’re told.
I whisper your tasks directly into your mind.
You complete them expertly; my work of gold.

I dabble in all of your unsecured senses.
They say the eyes are the windows to the soul.
I direct your gaze to that human over there
and love where your imaginative mind goes.

It’s time to devour deliciousness, my precious friend.
New task is to eat until your inners grieve.
Your stomach will stretch! Complete what I ask!
Have seconds, even fourths, but never say please.

How dare another human think they’re better than you?
You will shame and hate her until the end of time.
Tell everyone you’re the gift given to the world-
that you bless them daily with your beauty’s shine.

The task of lying is personally your favorite.
You lie happily with no sadness in sight.
The drama you conjure makes me so proud.
Your best lies even started a massive fight.

You wear wrath and anger so beautifully.
I make you drape them around your lovely neck.
The glow coming from it blinds logic's vision ;
with only a whisper I make your life a wreck.

We’ve been joined together for a long while now.
You chose to fulfill all of my given tasks.
Since you have died, you will travel down with me.
Your way to the light- you’ve forsaken in the past.

I did love you so much once.
Even though you only saw my wrongs.
I stayed with you through the hard times,
but disliked the man you’d become.
I realized happiness no longer came around;
only anger and depressing sadness held me down.
One day Evilness deeply implanted within you,
and all of the abuse escalated- with scars to prove.
I should have left while you slept,
but my deep Evil wanted sweet revenge.
Where’s the woman I used to be?
She was so timid and happy go-lucky.
I do regret what I did,
but I saw no out; only death.
It had to be either me or you,
and this time, I knew, who I would choose.

I was nervous and shy during our first meet,
but your zeal for fun set my nerves at peace.
We played dress-up; wearing heels bigger than our feet.
Rouge lipstick smudged all over our two front teeth.
We danced and twirled to the music’s funky beats;
as the moon crept- many secrets were released.
The sun awoke; a new day I was eager to see.
I waited to see what fun you had for me,
but you and your new friend played- not thinking in “we”.
I wore a smile, but my heart was in disbelief.
I was losing my friend with no way to compete;
while I gather dust in my dollhouse pink suite.
I knew as a doll sadness and neglect were always meant to be,
yet I hoped that this friendship would be everlasting and unique.

Why can’t I get an attitude when I’m not invited?
Throw a tantrum like a spoiled toddler.
I want to shout and complain when things are going awry.
I want to withhold my words until things fall in line.
I shall carry these grudges until they bury me deep!
You’ve ****** me off, so a slap is what you need!
I want what you have, so I’m taking it from your grasp,
as I walk away joyful; the thought of you is now part of my past.
I want to be the pettiest person you’ve ever meet,
but I’m an adult; so all I can do is fake-smile and pretend.

Is love buried underneath that slew of threats?
Does suspicion translate into tendency and intimacy?
Should I attribute you as a firm protector of me?
Are your fists substitute for a passionate kiss?
The fear of you, I had, should’ve given the answers that I sought,
but blindness took its toll; until I lay dying at your feet.
Young love is all that I wanted it to be,
but that so-called love you had; loved me too deeply.
As you hid me 6 feet below, where amative souls sleep.

Your lies were dipped in bittersweet chocolate;
with a heaping amount of caramel sauce drizzled on top.
I gobbled up more than I care to openly admit;
in fear of what others will think and say.
After enjoying your momentary treats;
came the truth;
with so much salt, it was baffling to eat.

A.K.A

(10 w)

The lies I ate, but
the truth I couldn’t take.

You're like week old milk.
I know you're sour,
**But I still have to take a whiff.

Happy Birthday Ms.31!
I hope you have delightful fun.
Here’s a bell to ring and ring;
Until you see a beauty or a queen.
I might bring a mirror to turn to you,
Because you’re the one making my dreams come true.
Happy birthday Ms.31!
And I hope you’ll have delightful fun.

My father bought me some gifts.
One was the biggest dollhouse;
With a doll, fashion clothes,
And all things that glitter gold.
With a frown I asked for more!
He then bought me a red car,
So my doll would be a superstar.
I shouted I needed more!
He then bought me a male doll.
I married them; naming him Jamal.

After, I started to ponder;
About all my father’s gift,
How he showered me with love,
But I only saw what he missed.

When only one glance
Echoes I love and
Need you.

I don’t want to talk,
So pretend I’m sleep.
I don’t want to eat,
I’ll just drink tea.
I rather not be touched,
Human contact; not in your dreams!
I’m quiet for a reason;
Are you too blind to see?
I’m having a ****** day,
Where no one knows what to say.
So, if you like the “nice” Ree,
Good advice is to let me be!

Ugh! I need to workout
But this
Doughnut's tempting me!

Baby girl,
I loved you since you chilled in my tummy.
Your smile and joy carried me
Through the hardest times.
Although mommy couldn’t afford everything you deserved,
You were happy, right?
We lived in a tough neighborhood
That instilled meanness into your soul,
But I remember my baby girl that needed
To be cuddled when you were cold.
But that meanness has misguided you,
Mis-educated,
And defiled you.
I was never your enemy.
My NOs were protection against a cruel world.
I never felt less love for you.
Even when I may have said something mean.
Mommy was stressed working 3 jobs
Trying…
Praying to move us; that was my dream.
But it’s too late now, baby.
Mommy’s gone on without you.
That meanness has turned you
Into a person I’ve never knew.
My teenage, baby girl just one question.
Did killing me give you any kind of satisfaction?

The person I was
didn't define
the person I became!