9-2-13

Man, all this sun
So hot, so bright
I look up and have to turn away

Maybe, because it's unbearable to look at
With it's darling rays
And it's great illuminosity

Maybe, because of it's golden, wide-set eyes
And faux gold full hips
And let's not forget----
It's beautifully-carved upturned corners
Quite a masterpiece

Spinning and smiling
Maybe she's high as well--
Maybe she isn't
Maybe she's just as natural and carefree,
How girls these days should be
Maybe it's because she just ain't like that
Maybe she just has that much self-pride
Or self esteem

So high she is
Because she's flying so high in the sky
But I have to look away
I cannot bear to see her dancing in the breeze
Then, sitting on the clouds
Caressing them as if pillows
I just cannot behold her glory, her nature, her charm

She's whispering to me, sweet melodies
Begging me to join her
And I am about to go
But, right now, I'm dreaming---
Day dreaming

The taste of tobacco lingering on my tongue
My tongue is split and covered in snow
White smoke is escaping my lips
It reminds me of him and his clothes
As well as his chapped soft pink lips
That were caused by waiting in the icy wind

Shaved head
Chipped nail polish
Hang nails
And an upside-down crescent frown

Heavy eyelids
Pale face
Smudged eyeliner
And pigeon-toed feet

Long and tangled hair
Bushy eyebrows
Bloodshot eyes
And shaking fingers

Hair in the way
Laugh lines
Furrowed brows
And a broken heart

Tear-stained letters
An unsaid goodbye
Voices echoing
"Please stay"

Ashes drop
Waterfalls smash
Love finally leaves
And a sadness profoundly falls

She has to clap
To hide her shaking

She has to clench her jaw
To keep her voice from trembling

She has to close her eyes
To keep the room from spinning

She has to grip the wall
To keep herself from moving

She has to bite her tongue
To keep herself from stumbling

She has to blink
To keep from tearing

But most of all
And day by day,
She has to crawl
To keep herself from falling

8-30-13

I raise my hand
I'm begging for help
My veins are like wind chimes
Dangling in the wind
Begging to be let out
To be visible
To make music
Music of the weak
To be vibrant sparklers
To run down steep banks
It's their fantasy to be free

Hated to see that teardrop
That slid down your face that cold day

Loved you from the first moment
My eyes caressed your face

Didn't understand how people
Could be so cruel

That was the day
I vowed I'd never hurt you
Or ever tell you that I loved you

My eyes try to open
But the sun is too bright

I don't want to cry
So I close my eyes

I try to keep it in
To show that I'm strong

It's so hard sometimes
So I squeeze them shut

I open them again
When I hear laughter

I wish I could go outside

But is is too dificult for me

If I could just smile..

But I feel pain
I feel remorse

I feel weak and little

I don't want to time-travel
So I block the images out

I close my eyes

I force them to **shut