Rejected
from society
from family
from church
from the world
Tested
in public
in school
in the household
in life
by God
Viewed as
wierd
church girl
annoying
weak
stupid

I know how hard it is
When you can't look up
To meet peoples' eyes

I know how difficult it is
When you have to force
A smile when you see your friends

I know how irrational it is
To say it's gonna be okay
You just have to wait

But did you ever stop to wonder
How it got this way?

I found one of my long lost poems!!!
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Like waking up
Like lying down
Like blanking out
Blink, blink, and all I see is darkness
Piercing, but distant
An unknowing, but growing
Yearning to be let out
Thump, thump; what do you want?
Dazed, thump again, steadying
Hitting the floor, shattering
Glass everywhere
Footsteps; when will they stop? hushed voices
Echoing, illusions; what just happened?
Thump, thump, thump
I can hear your heart
Burdens, regrets, mistakes
Everything runs together
I follow along, and then....no more

I found this, a poem I wrote long ago.. I think I wrote it on 8-28-11
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It is awkward, a fazed condition
A blind vision like the sun shining in your eyes
So luminiscent, forcing your eyes to close and stay shut
Sour like the glares from strangers
Stings like a wasp, hurts for a while
Numbness, lost, Don't know the way, blindfolded
Laying awake on many restless nights
Always questioning, mind getting more cloudy
No light shining in, pitch black
Alone in the darkness, silence
Paralyzed, unable to accomplish anything
Enclosed by all fears, no hope

Nadamas quiero dejar de pensar en las cosas
Cosas que no deben de formar
Cosas que no quiero que sean realidad
Ay las tantas veces..
Que las e pensado
Cada noche cuando estoy sola
Las noches que lloraba
Por pensar en ti
Y todo lo que ha pasado
Como me siento
Que no puedo
Cambiar el pasado ni la situacion

Como te puedo olvidar
Si te tengo en mis pensamientos
Cada noche antes que cierro los ojos
Tus palabras en mis orejas
Como sí me estabas hablando
Por la primera vez

Como te puedo dejar
Si me robaste el corazón
Es como mi cuerpo me esta diciendo
Algo no es normal
Te falta algo muy especial

The light hits my lids
Telling me to be happy
Almost tricking me into thinking that I could be
If I just wanted to
If only it was that easy

Not even the real sun
My house is dark  
My kitchen light is on
And it's barely 1 am

My emotions match the atmosphere outside
My head is laying on the counter
My hands and arms are covering my eyes
Someone please turn off the light