The world turns,'
we breathe, whilst I sit
and wait for you to see right through me.
my wrists are bare.
you're kissing the marks I made
with the blade I held
in the blame I felt,
and the sadness that overtook me like a tidalwave.

Wasted in my own worthlessness,
I didn't think. Simply did.
Shook as my tears fell,
vision blurred,
Lines appeared and I wish they'd go away,
faster.

They're not a simple of beauty.
they do not show how strong I am,
but instead they show my weakness,
and my impending doom.
I feel as if I've failed you,
this is a mixed drink,
of regret and pain.

I hate them.

I hate them.

With every fiber, in my broken down being.

without You here i can't see;
i may as well be blind

You called Yourself Light
and it seems i've crawled inside a cave because all i see is darkness

(i am so so so sick of myself)

when You look at me,
what do You see?

do You still feel the love You've had for me
when You were dying on a rugged cross
at Calvary?

i've touched the holes in Your hands
and i ran away in fear because i finally understood that You are who You said You were

and i am a mess, i am a mess, i am a mess
and i let go of my Maker's hand to dance with a world who wanted nothing but to **** His Son

Jesus Christ, will You still believe me if i tell You that i love You?
after all of these things that i do?
i feel like i can't keep up;
my sins are swallowing me whole

Jesus Christ, i want to fall in love with You
i'm trying to grab a hold of Your cloak
but the crowd has trampled me under their feet and i can't get up from the ground and it's getting really cold

Jesus Christ, i know You love me
and sometimes that can be so hard to believe, but i know that it's true

because even when i was drowning in iniquity
You were still holding out Your hand and whispering that You still love me and Your love is unchanging and faithful and full

and when You saw me at my worst—
You still chose to bear my sins
upon that ***** jagged wood

in this darkness, Jesus Christ, it can be so hard to see,
but i believe You when You said
that You have never, not once, left me

*You love me,
You still love me,
You will still love me,

i am still Yours
and You are still mine.

We stay
We unite
We worship
We praise
We love
We live
We play
We pray
We glorify
Only Him
Jesus Christ

Heal me Jesus,
I am broken and hurting.
Cleanse me Jesus,
I am impure and *****.
Teach me Jesus,
I want to know more about You.
Hold me Jesus,
I am lonely.
Love me Jesus,
Though I am unworthy.

welcome to a world
where anorexia is the latest trend
my secrets are being unfurled
and being thin is more important than being a friend
food is the devil, and i think i'm in hell
nobody noticed how little i ate or how far i fell

welcome to a place
where bulimia is what's expected
words don't mean much without a pretty face
and being fat is worse than being rejected
skinny isn't an adjective; it's a life goal
your appearance is worth so much more than your soul

welcome to a universe
where self-hate is cute and self-harm even cuter
the word "food" is a terrible curse
we're more worried about our bodies than our futures
buying a knife is easier than talking it out
everyone's lost sight of what life should be about

it's time to say goodbye to this place, this world, this universe
i've got to get out of a place where my body is not something to love, but something to hate
i'll get out anyway that i can, whether it's in a plane or a hearse
i'm tired of being controlled by a scale, being manipulated by my very own weight
i need to escape before the images of perfection eat me alive
i have to stop thinking of myself as the enemy if i want to survive

don't you want me?* isn't that what you wrote?
the very same day you stuck your tongue down my throat?
no i don't want you. i thought in my head
but the look on your face made me freeze with dread
i was too scared to speak, let alone write
so i left the page blank, i left the page white
your pick-up lines sounded more like threats
not running away will forever be my biggest regret
and you mistook my silence for an invitation
it was my body on which you took out your frustrations

no.

i struggled against you, scared and alone
thoughts of your intentions chilled me to the bone
i shivered and cried and i wanted to scream
my fragile mind was falling apart at the seams
as much as i sobbed and called out for help
it seemed no one heard any of my yells
and you drove me to silence with one cruel look
and i shut my mouth while i wept and i shook
you left me ravaged and broken and as good as dead
but still i picked up the pieces and only looked straight ahead

no.

when i stumbled home late in the night
my parents exclaimed that i had filled them with fright
do you know what could have happened? was the question they asked
and god knows that i did, but i didn't feel like being harassed
so i kept myself quiet and let my light fade away
everywhere i went i felt like some predator's prey
i couldn't feel safe no matter where i went
until the day i learned that i wasn't broken; i was just bent
i learned to be tough by forcing myself to move on
i looked my reflection in the eye and told myself to be strong
i slowly but surely got past my constant state of woe
my only regret is not saying *no.

we stick to together as children
but die all alone
they say "it's okay to be different"
"just don't be a clone"
but they lied to me
and they'll lie to to you too
the world hates different
the world hates you

and isn't fun to live in a world
where nothing is what it seems
there are kids on the streets
begging just to get by
and kids safe asleep
who are praying to die

and they preach acceptance
then declare your sentence
and the punishment's usually death
not death to the body
but death to the soul
death to the spirit
not death to the whole

the world is cutthroat
and we're all out of hope
so stop making art
and rip out your heart
or they're gonna do it for you
buy a nice suit
and don't try to be cute
and soon you'll become
complacent and numb