I swallow my fears, trying to erase them from my life and crush them down into the pit of my hungry stomach.
I feel the crying clouds dump buckets of pouring rain onto my fragile face, waking me up with the thundering bells above.
I watch my feet dangle over the side of my bitten finger nails, hoping my own shaking hand will save me.
But with one flick I'm shoved off the only person that could stop me from shattering.

Diseased
soon to be deceased
toxic me
how I failed to belong to you.
Once, I followed the back of your ankles and watched your body walk away from me
though you turned around to hug and kiss the face of
the meek smile that appeared for you.
Lonely travels now
following the empty space that replaces you.

There's something missing in these white eyes that are filled with every inch of the world. What left is there to take in but the silent sounds of ghosts moving so softly, brushing against pink ears as the hairs stand up on these cold arms. I'll stand here waiting for you to pass by me and shut my eyes closed, so they finally can be full.

Your words shaped who you are
actions soon made their way
The tide came in and formed you
as we once stood together,
alone on the rocky sand
hand in hand
in silence we stared
Creating a shallow beast the waves did
but I will always remember who you were
Found a place for yourself
where you can swallow your guilt
behind the wreckage
that place you built
I will still watch you
crying inside
as you left me now
...to stand alone
while I repeatedly catch your fall
You couldn't care less
You don't care after all

Killing me with every word you say
throw knives in between my rib cage
While my heart is still in my throat
to nervous to speak
just letting my ears bleed
because they couldn't take anymore of your laughs and shallow sympathy
Couldn't you step into the deep end and look into the world, instead
of looking at yourself, smiling at the way you break me...could you give me a break?
These sharp words are making me weak
I hope you **** me now before I choke on this heart beat
Before I suffocate from reality
But I'm wasting my time, when in the end you're nothing more than a cold heart and a speck of dirt crawled up inside my veins, like a worm chewing through endless apples making sour holes into each spot that once was sweet.

I hung up my body on the
ceilings made of cracks
Grease stains
from the leaking tears
upstairs
Kick back the chair I used to sleep on
Curled up like the cat down the road
I put one hand in my pocket,
one hand on the noose
and choke like pigs who hang
throats slit with the strawberry jelly
dripping
down my mouth
wiping the corners with the tip of a
White napkin, with
White hands
crumpling it like Milk containers
Styrofoam to be thrown in the waste
land of the free
Land of the *****

I have wanted to run away ever since I learned how to jump off a soaring swing and land on my two front feet.
I have
wanted to run away ever since I learned how to seize the night under giant trees.
I have
wanted to run away ever since I learned how to heal heartbreak.
Impossible.
oh please,
I pack my bags underestimating how far my lungs can breathe.

This smile fades, across my pale face
when you look over at her
with your gazing blue eyes
and leave me with, another tear to cry

If only the neighbor would
step out of isolation
and say hello to the world,
We all might grow a smile.

People who are broken often don't want to be disturbed by ignorance saying it gets better or it's just the rainy weather
Because it's sunny here today and my frown hasn't ran away
The sun is shinning and I feel like dying
The city is scary, the people are weary
Too many cool kids or the ones despretly trying to fit in, the ones who pretend enemies are friends
So I seek to the forest, that's where I smile
I hug the trees because I'm strange, but they bring me comfort
I don't feel the need to hurt my lungs, but only help me breathe
All the green, the dirt, the leaves, they make me see more than the everyday inspiring quotes
I step onto the cold moss filling my toes and I know...
this is what I want to call home

The people are too loud
and my music isn't loud enough
I want to say a few words
but my brain tells me to shut up
So I write my thoughts on a piece of paper
then send it off
to a place on the computer
where poets can read
and like what they choose
we can't always win
but we'll always lose
to the voice in our mind
that won't let us say what we please
but maybe that's just my mind and me

Wishing life could be over, but really just wanting it to change.

What you call home, I call temporary. Packing away the gifts I was given from a lying child. Box after box a memory is put in. I open the doors to the place I will now call mine, for now. I climb the stairs to the place I will sleep in safely. I put my things on the carpet floors and wait till the sun goes down. Just the moon shines outside my new window. My new glass eyes. I see the world different, for now. I strip away the tape and the cardboard separates. Every memory and time spent from the past, is free. You follow me. To a new house that is temporary. No matter how far I get, you will be under the sheets. Your figure stuck to the side of my brain, for now. Forever.

And I walk everyday,
everyday I walk.
Everyday I go, I go to come back home.
One day may I hope to walk further till I reach
contentment.
My hands clasp with myself.
Everyday I sob at the door of this home.
I walk not knowing what I'll find, who
I'll find within
and everyday I leave still keeping
you with me.
I want to walk away from all I think.
I think I must be too weak
to stop.

By this time, you've set sail
you've gone far into the vast seas
you're eyes grew dark
and your smile turned bleak
The words crashed at your sides
leaving you broken and damp
that's why you left
into the depths of the ocean
never to be seen

Tell them you are okay
Tell them.
You look at withered flowers
you are not them
Tell them.
pull your shirt down over your head
and tie your shoelaces
walk out the doors of safety
drive through roads not meant for you
but tell them you like the noise
that it doesn't scare you
Tell them the days aren't useless
and fall asleep
knock at your skull
stretch out your eyes
wake up and brush your teeth
talk to the people
nice and clean
slip on your socks and shoes
no bare feet
and you will tell them
okay.

old souls
drenched in white noise

Are we not exciting enough for you?
our brains stuffed with everything science. thoughts
deeper than black holes.

Have we not made life fun enough for you?
because we'd rather travel into an alternate reality
than drink until our minds get blundered over just wanting to have a good time

Take a look. We're old and grey.
Holes create our faces like Swiss cheese.
Nibble at us.
You rats will chew anything up for a good story
And our bones crack and ache.
but you wipe us over with pretty filters
throwing fire at the truth, disguising what should be valued
But hey...we're scared too. We just deal with it differently.

Seeing happy people
how can I sit here
in a black hole
while the rest of the world is
smiling
I'm in
my own
dimension
Rolling around
aimlessly through
galaxy's
Of star dust

My feet dance with a movement
that glides on the edges of pearly ocean waves
and once ashore, they begin to tunnel straight into
the cold sands of time.

When it's after dark
I see you standing under the streetlamp
something evil we imagined lurked under there.

I see you standing under the streetlamp
but really it's me.
something evil staring into my window,
into my soul.

I see you standing before me
under the light we used to create for each other
something evil is now between us.

Here we go again, the earth pulls us down.
Roots snatched our arms, pushed us through the rabbit hole and we spun like tops.
I tumbled to the ground and you toppled on me, but the demons grabbed you again throwing you far into the dirt. I watched you diminish until you were fully gone.
The monsters made me see you leave
my breathing went heavy
my heart wept
i laid inside the world as it heated me up
burning my skin off, i saw it melt
my nails slid off
my bones depleted
and i blew up in flames
until I was fully gone

He grabbed her heart and soul and dragged her off making her feel like she belonged to him.
But soon her only thoughts were how to get rid of him.
Because none of this "love" brought any ounce of happiness for her.
And though the regret she drowns in fills her lungs, she still manages to breathe a little of his air,
hanging on to that small,
ripped piece of him.

They brought you here, ****** and weak
your body shook and your eyes leaked
They brought you here, without a say
your mind wondered as you went through the day
They brought you here, when the sky grew cold
your fingers trembled, but you did what was told
They brought you here, just to follow the herd
your face grew pale and your emotions soon blurred
They brought you here, to live true to yourself
you soon understood and they just want to help
They brought you here, and the sun finally glowed
your words became strong and your smile was shown
They brought you here*, to be who you are, climb over mountains, and land upon stars.
The world swirled around you throwing bombs at your feet,
until you saw a new life that could match your own beat

Forgetful ghost
Forget me
I touched your body
Your soul
Your mind
Never did I think
You would not see mine
Forgetful hands
Forget you
I'm alone
Like a ghost is
Place your eyes on me
And remember
Forgetful you
Will never forget me