I swallow my fears, trying to erase them from my life and crush them down into the pit of my hungry stomach.
I feel the crying clouds dump buckets of pouring rain onto my fragile face, waking me up with the thundering bells above.
I watch my feet dangle over the side of my bitten finger nails, hoping my own shaking hand will save me.
But with one flick I'm shoved off the only person that could stop me from shattering.

Her skin is ripped not quite pale, but compared to the darkness that  glistens in pure silence down her wrist she is white as a ghost.
She wishes she was one. Invisible and dead.
No one could ever grab her hand again.
No more shivers up her spine because now she feels alone and empty, rattling bones inside her stomach. Heart drooping just like her baggy eyes.
She lays there. Helpless body frozen over by the icy stares they throw at her.
She just wants to be alone. Alone forever.
Oh, but it's selfish to think like this so she'll soon stop thinking at all.

What is this place you talk about?
Grass is greener on the other side
No gray skies and the sun always shines
Animals roam the fields feeling the softness under their feet
Where is the place of greatness?
Stars visible in the night sky
The only noise are the trees talking
Sweet smell of bright flowers fill the air
This place you say is long gone.

There's something missing in these white eyes that are filled with every inch of the world. What left is there to take in but the silent sounds of ghosts moving so softly, brushing against pink ears as the hairs stand up on these cold arms. I'll stand here waiting for you to pass by me and shut my eyes closed, so they finally can be full.

His hands scraped upon my leg
as he desperately seeks for closure
but I see drool dripping from his mouth like a begging dog
and roll my eyes at the way he talks so passionately about himself
I guess I was fooled once again.

Killing me with every word you say
throw knives in between my rib cage
While my heart is still in my throat
to nervous to speak
just letting my ears bleed
because they couldn't take anymore of your laughs and shallow sympathy
Couldn't you step into the deep end and look into the world, instead
of looking at yourself, smiling at the way you break me...could you give me a break?
These sharp words are making me weak
I hope you **** me now before I choke on this heart beat
Before I suffocate from reality
But I'm wasting my time, when in the end you're nothing more than a cold heart and a speck of dirt crawled up inside my veins, like a worm chewing through endless apples making sour holes into each spot that once was sweet.

My world is spinning, so fast I can't seem to grip the edge of the sidewalk before I fall into the depths of the universe.
And just when I touch the cement, my fingers start to slip.
And no matter how loud I shout, no one seems to hear.
Walk by, see me grasping on and gasping for a chance to breathe.
But I am left with aching bones and finger tips waiting for someone to help me.

Photographs,
like drawings on inked skin
the colors fade
as you get older
the days get younger
and the nights get colder
so hold your breath
as agony ripples through your body
don't reach out for sustenance or guidance  
because these photographs are all that's left

I wrote a story all in my head, a song and a poem I do dread
For it took me to place I don't want to see
Because it makes me feel loss and loneliness.
Letting my mind wonder to a place of beauty,
but in the end I watch tears of horror

I'm stuck today.
Nothing but a horrible disaster
I'm taking turns right then left
Searching for a little bit of sunlight

I won't be stuck tomorrow
I know.
But I'll grieve at my sadness just for today
I'll run inside my head
Moving all that's in my way
Running inside this mindless video game

Here, take my bag of bones and burn them
Make me disappear
Without a trace
Of my existence
You won't miss me when I'm gone
Just admit it
I'm not wrong
Bury me alive
So I can live in darkness
Just for a little while
Until my lungs fill up with blackness
And my cuts are sealed with dirt
And all I'll see is darkness
No more living in hurt
And they say and do things
That slide off my shoulder
But day after day
Those things become boulders
That block my path
from moving forward
So I must break away
Run away
Stay away
And hopefully never return

All untold
All kept inside
A little, small s e c r e t
Told a lie
And as it was whispered
Right through the lips
Carried by the air
Blown in the wind
Right through their ears
Right out their mouth
The s e c r e t once kept inside
Has now begun to sprout

I'd love to see the world form a whole new view
Where the flowers bloomed and the trees grew
Where everything had color
Never washed out by the rain
Everyone smiled
And didn't feel pain
Because it seems as though we are more focused on sadness then our happiness
As though we'd rather hurt than to feel warmth
And maybe it's because it's more comforting to feel lonely
Because being happy would be too good to be true
But if we live like this everyday
We will put ourselves away
And won't come out
To see the light
And feel something more then a cold night
Stuck in darkness for life
So if we have a day where no tears need to drop
Maybe life won't be so tough

You take a hold of the only strength I have left
Then rip it away to make me weak
Just like that
I fall back
                 d
                     o
                        w
                            n
       ­                        again, and again, and again

As I watch your colors fade
I shed a tear to wash them away
To help you vanish
To help you not feel a thing
Because I'll be here to take the pain
When all hope is lost
And you're in vain
So don't run from the world
You won't get far
I'll be here to take your place
When life's too hard
And you can come back
When you're okay
But I will be here to take your pain

Only lies told straight into her eyes
But the truth will never come
So the lies don’t come as a surprise
When all is said and done

She picks herself up
And gathers her things
Because now she is off
To a new beginning

And she prays to a God
That isn’t even there
That she will find love
And someone will care

And if she gets lost
On her way through life
There will be a cost
And there will be a fight

But she will hold on
To little hope she has
Look out beyond
And try to be glad

Because everything she needs
Is right there in front of her
All she pleads
Is for the right words

To comfort her

Lock me in again
So overprotective
Not like I have anymore problems do deal with
I've done things you said not to do
Hurting inside but you never have a **** clue
Your own daughter washed out in the ocean blue
Let me go my own way
I don't want to stay
You're keeping me from figuring life out
My unsteady feet are still nailed to the ground
But it's not only you two
It's everyone else
The boys, the girls, and the people I once felt
a love towards, a longing for
Stopping me from letting go
Finding a place I can call my home
Always in the way
Slowing down my pace
I'm just stuck in a mess
That you all started

An imagination can take you far, past the clouds and beyond the stars. But no matter what fantasy you let your mind go to, the world will just never satisfy all of you.

Take me to a place
where my mind gets lost in thoughts
Not bad one but good ones
Where I can take away the pain
Let it wash out by the rain
Tumble down the drain
And never get back into my head
Never make me dread
What's coming next

What will happen in the future
Will everything I wish for come true
I lost what I had
What I wanted
Erased from the page
Emotionally caged
It's cutting like a blade
A sword through my chest
I still try my best
To keep on going
Doing what I'm doing
Hold in all the memories till they fade out
Will you still be around
To be the missing puzzle piece I've found
Or will it all crash down
On me
On everything
That I've built to get here
Will it someday be fine
Will you someday be mine

She hurts everyday
Doesn't show it
Doesn't try to get help
Put's it off
Every single day,
wakes up to a new scar
Still doesn't get help
She has opportunities
But won't take it
Little by little
Throwing herself away
Still won't get help
Talk to us
Everyone around you wants to help
If you just let them
Doesn't think we care
We do
But still hurts every single day

In the past you were broken
I didn't understand how much pain you were in
I didn't want to believe it
That you were hurting all the time and trying not to show it
Taking pills and cutting just to erase each day
Finally telling someone what you did
You've changed so much since the years have past
It's like those depressing times were never here
I'm glad you've changed and are on the right track
You keep pushing forward and never look back