I consent that I am afraid that everything is fake as if there are no actual faces in these scenes of chaos and affection where I am floating abhorring direction towards anywhere that isn't me I have the faith to move mountains but the stains remain inside my thoughts and it's hard to think about anything but pain regret and the shame I thought I walked away from but never let go of buried until I cry and release it from my eyes baptizing me in the name of love if nothing else maybe I can go home when I was young I dreamed that my destiny would be in reach at this stage and I feel it rising in my veins because now I see that I am a mirror reflecting and that the image isn't me

it is insane to me
how life exists
at four o'clock in the
******* morning
lungs still breathe



(c) SEA 2016

When you wake up the nightmares are supposed to be over.
But every morning I wake up, the dream is over and the nightmare begins again.

hammering on these keys
hoping that they do bleed
out of a deep dark need
to cause pain I can see
so I know that they know
how it feels to be me

Why am I writing with no demand?
Hoping to entertain lovers.
Do you know how sensitive I am?
Lying to myself and others.
Is my whole entire life just a scam?
Compelling that I even wonder.

What do you want me to say? We are both **** ups. I'm sorry I hurt you. We hurt each other... But are we going to live in the past or in the now?

I love you. I miss you. You make me cry without even hearing your voice.