I would liken you
To a night without stars
Were it not for your eyes.
I would liken you
To a sleep without dreams
Were it not for your songs.

I wonder how many notebooks I would have to fill,
If thoughts of you would exceed the life of my pen.
Probably, but then again I might get trapped in
all the things we never said.
I might get caught inside my head,
revisiting all the things that made me feel
like I was silly to think you would want me,
A brokenness that haunts me,
I'll set down my God forsaken pen
And stop writing.
I will remember how every conversation lead
with hard question
is accused of my want of a fight..
I have been fighting
All the hard parts alone.
I wonder how many note books I could fill
About feeling on my own.
I wonder how many notebooks I could fill
with all the parts of you, you never let me know.

because we fell in love with the law
and fell out of love with ourselves.

because the ***** of great minds
wear pineapple fatigues in their fathers’ *******;

from Judas swallowing 9 bullets
to one day being a kid at heart
a symptom of some abnormality.

Ever get the feeling that you’ll die on a Tuesday?

Or one day wake up on their government bed
Screaming,
“you can blame the French Revolution
On silent reading!”

watching

as three teacups of *** plan war on the asphalt.

Hey sleepy head?
                                                          ­    Where are you tonight?

Are you standing in the corner?
          Over by the white christmas lights?

                                                        ­                   With a miscellaneous mug,
                                                            ­                                   Stolen from not-your-kitchen cabinet.

Are you not ever tired?
              Do you never sleep?

                                                         ­                                                    And when you do,
                                                                          What could you possibly dream?

                                     Of red and white flowers?
                                                *no

  ­   Of bombs destroying towers?
               no

                                                Of illustrated novels about foxes?
                                                          ­                                           no
Do you dream of anything?
                Or is your soul as empty,
  
                                                                                                    As your eyes seem to be?
                                                             ­                       And when I kiss you,





                            *why do you turn away from me?

You found me out today,
Looked at me, staring blankly.
You told me nothing would change.
Everything would be the same.
Could it be you lied to me?
After what we've been through,
I trusted you.
I gave you my life,
In return you gave me disgust and hate.
I hope you don't sleep well tonight.
I hope you awake,
Regretting what you said.
Tomorrow will be a new day for you.
Tonight will be my last.
In the morning people will cry.
Someone will find my body and a note.
The note will read what I told you,
What I showed you.
It'll tell of how I was hurting,
How I was in pain.
My family will cry,
When they hear,
Friends will too.
My body will lie,
Stiff and cold on my bedroom floor.
The carpet will turn a scarlet,
Stained with blood.
My makeup down my face,
Hair a mess,
Clothes and room untidy.
Here I sit,
Upon the floor,
I make a cut.
First my right,
Then my left.
I think of how slowly this will happen.
I drown in my thoughts.
My hands flicker as I do it twice more.
I wont shed a single tear.
I'll drift away,
Into a carefree sleep,
My mind is almost blank,
The thought of you is all that is left.
You crushed my hopes,
Killed me inside,
And broke my heart.
Just as the sun begins to rise,
My heart will beat one last time,
I whisper goodbye