She moves like poetry in the mornings.
Soft pink and gold kisses her all over
to wakefulness, to dream.
soft turns and breath music
enough to release me
from these moonbeam eyes
in a trance
the feel of her breath on my skin
hands undulate
beneath feather sheets
the feel of warm silk
on my own-
glorious.
Stirrings, small circles on my chest
the feel of her lips smiling
beneath closed eyes.
I cannot resist
running my finger down her spine
as the mad scent of her
engorges my brain.
I can watch her like this
for all eternity.
Butterflies flutter open
at the sound of my name.
The faintest trace of whirlwinds
at her fingertips
tracing my lips.
One kiss.
One smile.
And she is forever out of my life.

This world is so messed up
So fallen
So cracked
Robbed
Objectified
Run by greed
Lust (A different type of greed)
I don't even watch the news
Because it's all
Pain.
And it hurts me.
Because I feel guilty for it.
All of it.
I live a normal life
By many standards
But it is so privileged.
I have the luxury to whine about my own problems.
I should be out helping people
Not sitting at my computer
Writing "poetry"
Yuck
I'm such an idiot.
I cannot work yet
Even drive on my own
Why is that limiting me?
I want to HELP PEOPLE
Save people.
Though I like learning things
I shouldn't be in school
When there's so many people without FOOD
Without HOMES.
Who am I to complain about my
Tiny problems?
My life is run by greed.
That's all there is to it.
But I can't escape.
My regrets constantly grow
And maybe when I get a chance
I can HELP PEOPLE.
Somehow.

The spirit and the ego,
At war for a turn
To guide my ways
Through all of days
From the cradle to the urn.

The ego goes down, the walls follow.
My spirit emerges nimble and free.
Its stay is short,
The doctors will thwart
The ignited spiritual emergency.

Emotion pulses through me,
My mind and voice are rapid.
A needle through my arm
To abate my alarm.
Soon I'll feel vacant and vapid.

Now I sit at home,
Too lethargic to walk out the door.
Perhaps low energy
Is better than insanity,
Considering where it got me before.

This is how it ought to be,
The ego in control of it.
I lose my mind,
Become unkind,
From an unleashed, suppressed spirit.

You are a tiny person alone in a big house
(Two rainy hours away)
Maybe someone else can differentiate you from your peers but i cannot
(Will there be girls like you?)
These things, they take time
(Which there is very little of)
I do not deserve you, you do not deserve this
(Do I make you unhappy?)
Stranger's dogs and filtered water from a refrigerator door in a small town remembered for what it never had or will have
(Human beings were not meant for this)
You say you can imagine China stretching out from a spot behind my head
(Me, who has never even been on an airplane)
Why are you here / who are you / what is this
(How are us)
The bus comes at 10:15 but I will be gone long before
(Light years away, you cannot make me stay)
There are no drugs and there are not other boys but
(But there is the music and there are the other girls)
I am not as young and naive as yourself but I am just as bitter
(Loosely interpreted emptiness floating within pale irises)
Part of you belongs to a place unto which I will not return
(State, county, city, suburb)
Part of you belongs to me
(I will not return)

There was a spot on the sidewalk
Where the sun had landed
Making its way through the skyscrapers
I stood inside it, face tilted upwards
To let heat and light kiss my skin
Just then, a breeze surrounded me
Swirls and circles and
I felt the color blue
For a few moments
What is me disintegrated
Dissolved into the sky
Alive forever

My life is a mess
     no metaphor
     could ever mean

My ambition
is being held captive

Lost
in the chaos of logic

Like a game of chess
    I need to be saved
    by the Queen

Wishful thinking
For divine intervention

Summoning
*The Goddess of this machine