I did not want the courts
and the life of the cities
and I did not want the struggle
but I did not leave -
perhaps it was me
that saw the tension
but could not come into integrity
and put the blame on duty, care
and responsibility


I did not enjoy the crowds and the clamor
and yet was in it;
perhaps it was me
seeing what was about and all round
but not seeing within me


and then I picked up my staff in my old days
and I live now in my shed in the mountains
and walk when I wish;
and the ways of nature
and its forms keep me company
and I walk where I wish
in the solitude that nature whispered
would be mine, always mine…
but then
I was hard of hearing
when I was young;
and now, you that linger
in the halls of power,
you will see,
I am gone

The Clothed Maja, sister of The **** Maja (both painted by Goya, and both enjoyed by Raj Arumugam), speaks:*
  

Hey, you boys…yeah, you…
OK, all of you good boys, if you like…
come see me in my white dress and golden shoes;
see me reclined in my luxurious couch…
Look here…I’m in this room…
Oh, you adorable, silly boys;
I’ve been hearing you the last hour
as you searched one room after another
and all you grown men giggling like little boys…
while I’ve been waiting here all the while…
And you’re Frank? And you?
Sean? What a **** name you’ve got baby…
Oh, hmmmm…you should be…O Patrick,
you think I’m cool?
I was made by Goya, how can I not be?
And come on other boys at the door, don’t be shy…
Ravi, Kesav, Eliot,  jp –
my, my, what a short name you got;
you can get it long too? ...jp…lovely name…
and Jack Chappell, and Sean Critchfield –
and why didn’t cheeky Raj come?
Oh, leave him, he’s probably just best left ogling
at ***** shunga pictures
from Hokusai…

So welcome boys all…
Yes, yes, you can come close
You can’t resist the scent can you?
O, my name? Just call me Maja -
Maja pretty and well-dressed
and I just love good company and wine
and pleasure and fun
…what?
You guys think I’m sweet, and seductive?
Oh, that’s nice of you…
**** too?
Oh, boys! Oh, you boys!
If you think I’m ****
Oh wait till you see my sister, my double –
Oh, yes she’s always reclining in a bed too
unlike that stodgy Mona Lisa
Well, my sis didn’t want to come
but really, I’ll tell you a secret -
my sis, she doesn’t wear clothes -
and she hasn’t been in clothes since 1800!
Oh, you guys got to go?
Reluctant, but you must go?
Yeah, you can always see me – just google Goya
and I’ll always be there
and my sister?
Oh, you naughty boys, that’s who really want to see,
don’t you?
and that’s the reason for your sudden hurry?
Well, she’s always placed beside me –
I’m always The Clothed Maja and she the Naked one…
See you soon, guys –
see you at Goya...
Hey, come back here boys –
the least you can do is to kiss me goodbye…

Let us pull, pull the boat,
young man…
away from the waters
safe on to land
just the while perhaps till the morning
and pull, young one…take a deep breath and pull…
generations have worked and gone past exertion
and into a discovery of inner strength
and a sudden illumination perhaps
of the resilience within…
feel and pull - see, there’s the boat and you
and the forces and the ground
and there’s much within you…
there’s the mark of the effort
in your mind as footprints in the sand
pull, young one…safe to land – a little more
and a little more…
and we are come to completion, and you will see
within yourself
where the struggle, where the living
and all these days of our lives between earth
and the oceans begin and end…

for maximum efficacy of charm, utter this in the dead of night lying down on a sheet of camel skin soaked in goat’s blood, on top of One Tree Hill*



may those who
cannot praise
and can only bark dispraise
of my writings, songs and posts
may they all
become loose of mind;
and may such
in the middle of a crowd of fanatics
suddenly lose their pants or tops;
and inexplicably become illiterate
when they are to sit for exams;
and may they who cannot
say: “You are the best! You are the best!” -
may these henceforth never be capable
of saying anything at all!


O, as swineherds
in days of yore
became Court Poets
by Divine Grace –
may all those who don’t
appreciate my writings and posts
may they all suffer in reverse
and become swine
and go drown in ditches
by Divine Craze!

The young Musicians  are at rehearsal...the ladies and the lords will soon gather in the music chamber...and Caravaggio's musicians will play them some music and sing them various  songs...but first, they must rehearse...


The Musicians at Rehearsal

Let us continue…
Let me tune a little of this lute
while you peruse the notes
and you clear your throat
And what’s our Cupid doing?
Crushing grapes again between his teeth

Let us rehearse well
to render a song of softness
and ease and grace
A song of love
with sweet music
that will charm our guests

And we shall present it
in the private chamber
of honored lords and ladies -
and we shall sing like angels
and one of us will be as Cupid
dancing and flying as fancy takes him

Let us hurry now
though let us not forget polish
and pace and perfection…
come, let us again rehearse together


...and soon the ladies and the lords will arrive...and the musicians will perform and sing their songs of love, passion and sadness...

...and the ladies and the lords are seated in the music chamber...and Caravaggio's musicians play and they sing a song of love and passion...


Song of Love

O luscious Ladies
and brave Sirs

the clouds join
with one another
and the streams sing;
the birds sit amorous
on the branches
and the trees sway
while the flowers spread their scent
in the air
and the bees dance in a daze

ah, Ladies are made for men
and men for women
and each so shaped for perfect fits -
embrace then the lover beside you
O Sirs pick the red berries
on the lips of the luscious ladies;
and O lovely Ladies,
yield to the embrace
of the gallant beside you
and feel flowers bloom within -
for men are made for women
and women for men
and each so shaped for perfect fits

O embrace and kiss
dear luscious Ladies
and most accomplished Sirs
for Cupid seeks that you make love
and produce heavenly cherubim
who in turn, nights and days,
will make love like you do
now in this chamber of pleasures


...and so ends the first song...and the musicians prepare to sing one more for the charming ladies and the elegant lords...a song of sadness to end the night...

...the beautiful ladies and the lords want more from Caravaggio's musicians... the musicians are always glad to oblige..they sing their song of sadness, of loss and love...*



O this ecstasy we call love


O this ecstasy we call love -
what is it?
why do we crave it
when there is such pain
that weighs on the body and heart?

O this joy we call love -
what is it?
why do we fall
when there is so much deceit
and betrayal?
why do we love
when there are lies
and hidden motives?

O this curse called love -
it has dried my heart out
and my being is smeared
as cloth with oil and grime;
my best times have been taken away
and there is left only
contempt and scorn
and derision…

O this darkness we call love -
what is it?
why do we still move to it
even as it teases us
and leaves us broken
and forlorn?
  

*...and it is time to go...and the ladies and lords bow and they depart...some depart hand in hand...silent...some depart alone, sad and contemplative...

Ah, young Sir, most elegant young scion
of a noble family of our Great City -
how well you play even these games
as cards and board games
with such composure, calm and dignity
that we of the lower classes
can never muster
and with what generosity of spirit
young Sir
what dignity and skill
even as you deign to play cards with us,
such ordinary folks, such untutored people like us…
but honest we are, young Sir,
and so in your wisdom and learning you have seen
and so you have chosen to come in our midst
and to play with us…
so you no doubt wish to know the world
so that you may have such wisdom as when one day
you move even deeper in court circles
and in the halls of power
as no doubt by the signs on your face and in your manner
young Sir
you are destined to do so…
ah Sir, how well you consider your moves…
…forgive me for talking, it is my admiration for you
that makes me talk…I shall be quiet the while
as you pause to make your next move…

…ah, Sir – such gravity and poise you have...
and such deep meditation you make
before every card move…
it is a dignity and insight, most noble young Sir
you have no doubt acquired
in the great schools, and from your most learned tutors
no doubt such wisdom as you have acquired
in all your studies
as noble youth like you are privileged to…
not like us poor street urchins
and common people of the street
in our ignorance, in our pettiness…
but still, Sir – we are honest people, you will find
and perhaps one day, young Sir,
you shall speak for us in those halls of power
in which you shall shine –
perhaps then you will speak for us ordinary folks
how though common and plain, yet most honest you found us…
play on, young Sir, play on….consider your moves
and hold your cards close to your *****, indeed…
indeed…indeed…I shall be quiet…so you can
deliberate and apprehend your every move…
but honest ordinary friends of yours we are, young Sir…
always we remain your honest friends
of the taverns and streets…

"Ah, young Sir,
indeed it is in your lines on your smooth palm
as I indeed felt the moment
when I saw your noble face
and your inimitable manner…"

"What is it? What is it?
O speak your mind, young gypsy;
speak the truth, speak with no fear"


"Ah, young Sir
this curved line that runs
across your gentle palm tells
you must certainly have
some of the blood of the Caesars
running through those bold veins of yours"

"Ah, true, true indeed
sometimes I have felt it too"


"And, young Sir
this straight line that cuts that curve
on your most delicate palm
ah – it indicates even some lineage of prophets
and a history of past holy men
which line now culminates in you"

"Oh, indeed, indeed
I have had such intimations indeed
at the House of God when I kneel
in holy prayer;
and I have had such whispers
and stirrings within my *****…
indeed…indeed…"


And when the gypsy is gone
it is then that the young man
of such esteemed rank and high nobility
and of such holiness
he feels his gold ring also gone…