Meaningless words fall
Hurtful silences
Unspoken desires
The light fades
And then we are nothing more than a memory
Surely this isn't really what we call love?

When I was a child I thought life would be simple
Grow up
find yourself a prince
Then settle into a life which fills up all your desires
Hopes and wishes
Time was mistreated and now years later
Bones crushed and mended
Bruises faded and gone
Tears in my heart still hurt
Because I never did it right
Never found my prince
Many a frog in prince's clothing have come my way
To tease the very thought of love
To beckon and not deliver
To love and to leave
Now I am in limbo
A partner who lives in his own shell
Un needing for a life of companionship
Work and responsibilities taking up precious time
I feel alone so many times and I cant stand it
A hand to hold for just a moment
Moments are fleeting but few
But what else can there be
I fight with my feelings of unworthiness
Or my neediness
But wanting a lover and companion for more than one day in a fortnight surely that's not strange and clingy or needy
Maybe I'm just not cut out for this
I love him
But he never lays his hand upon my cheek whilst I cry
He never rubs my shoulders when they are sore
And he is not there for me to give the love I have in my heart
A crossroads
Tears fall and splash list fully upon my cheek bones
And then I will carry on living the single but not quite single life
Which comes with the absent lover

I came to read
And read I did until my eyes blurred
The tears smudged out the words
But my heart was full of the pain and darkness
Your heart laid upon a slab
Sacrificial trembling's of some forgotten ceremony
Acted out in style
Every detail
Every single breathe taken
Felt in moments of desire and lose
With each betrayal of time
Within each moment of madness hidden
In spaces so sublime
I found a moment when
Your pain turned into my tears
Walk lightly
Love deeply
Sleep soundly
The light may seem gone
But place your hands upon your heart and know there is still
A place where those we love awaken
And hold us so close
Because we loved and allowed them
The moments they needed

You hold me so close
Sometimes it takes my breath away
Hold me now and never let go
Some times I fear the future
Because its something we never discuss
Its like a wall that we need to climb
So close and yet
Give me a foot up and Ill look over
I promise you will be the first to know
If I have the guts to tell my truths
Entwined in your arms
You are like the missing piece to my puzzle
I don't think I ever want to stop loving you
There is no escape from this place
Motivation is zero
Movement only takes us closer
Only a promise of tomorrow can break this spell
And so be it
I love hard
And fall harder still
You mesmerise me
Like a feeling of enlightened after a spiritual journey
Sometimes I feel vulnerable  
Not sure where this is leading
But unable to let go
Unwilling to ask questions
of what lies beyond the thoughts that you hold
Warmth lingers
Until tomorrow my lover
I would wait a million tomorrows
If I knew for sure you would be here
One last piece of my puzzle
And I am complete

As twilight approaches
A realisation
That we will never speak again floats through
A  mere thought
And its ok I guess
As the clock strikes some ungodly hour
I scream silently
Them move on
Blanketed In the safety of loves dream
Little things which bound us have withered and died
Oh how I love the breeze
Even if I close it out
I know that it will still be there if I choose to just
Open another doorway

Blood trickles
From sapphire teardrops
That radiate hate
Pure illumination

I knew when I woke up this morning
  That I wanted to do something special
I wanted to entice you
  And your taste buds seemed the perfect place to start

I told you dinner would be at 6
  You said
Fine love now I'm going to be late for work
  I have a late meeting but I promise not to be late
See you at six
  Love you

  A new emotion was rising in my stomach
Or was it an old one revisited
  I planned
Not a natural cook
  But I can whip up a good feed when I need to

  I exceeded myself
I knew you would love it
  I wanted to see you smiling back at me
Knowing
  Just knowing Id made this special just for you

  Kids at the cinema
Time to spend
   Together
  Little does that happen now a days

  So I'm sitting here waiting
Contemplating what's more important than this
  Forgetting you don't understand because your not inside my head
  Your not answering the phone
Are you in traffic
  I wait
Then wait some more
  I sit trying to push aside the hurt
The rejection
  I feel like a child inside
I feel vulnerable
  Im quite out of control

  I eat in silence
No smiling face looking back at me
  I just wanted to see the twinkle in your eye

  You come in hours late
  The meal stale and congealing on the plate
  I think you tried to say sorry
But I feel numb inside
  So stay silent

I think I heard you weep
  I didn't want to make you sad
But have no control and don't know how to comfort
  Whilst Im in this hurting zone

  When you fell asleep tonight I kissed your forehead
  I know your busy
  I just need you
I love the very ground that you stand on
And I can feel the cracks steadily forming