This evening there are no words
Or explanations for how I feel .
I have become accustomed to feeling a little numb .
Only when diving head first into nature and quenching my thirst for life can I feel .
I will not write a masterpiece this evening ,
I will not fasten  the seat belt
ready for the roller coaster that follows,
I will dive head first
Then regret later
I will allow,
Beckon even
I will scream from the roof tops until my lungs are sore
I will not be silent
I will not be kind
Or caring
I will not be needy or wanting
I will quench this thirst that lays in my soul
My soul
Dare me to feel and I will need to back away and hide in darkened places.
Licking old wounds and not allowing you any closer.
Be careful how you approach me,
I seem like I am standing here with an armour to protect.
But I am weak when love lies before me.
I will not write a masterpiece this evening ,
I will be the masterpiece
Standing tall and feeling weak,
Looking brave and yet falling,
Falling apart at the seams that make me
Me …

Summers sun  now surrenders to the feast of autumn
Soon we  will be bathed in a golden blanket encompassing all the delicate moments just before the midnight frost of winter hits us hard
Oh for such a love that journeys inwards and beyond into the inner world
May we slumber sweetly in dreams  held tight in a love that holds promises of tomorrow
For a while forgotten are the pains of loves lost and broken hearts that slide away from our view, it’s not important now , maybe it never was…
Only surviving at all costs is necessary so that we are able to return once more.
Surely spring will come forth after we have rested.
I think It’s time
Time to open our eyes
The earth is beautiful
and humans …
well humans usually are not
but love is beautiful and some how from the embers of our winters hearths we will rise once more .
Until then
Let’s slumber softly
Hold me like the earth holds the bulb
Hold me
I surrender
I surrender there’s no where else to go from here.

Meet me in secret
Between your words, the page , the ink
And the pain in my heart
Meet me here
Amongst the sweat and the darkened moments of regret
Hold me firm against your chest
And surrender to the beauty you read and from your sweet lips flow stories of hero’s and lovers ,flowers and brothers snd  the need
Oh that need …
The one that rises and falls and free falls amongst the crashing waves of desire
Meet me there
If you can find a moment lead your pen or keyboard in my direction
Come tip  toe through my life as I weave my magic around your words creating pure bliss in the form of poetry that knits us as one to the page.

I got swallowed up by solitude
Addicted to its peaceful gentle touch .
It held me in my moments
It held me ….

What if I only get to see twenty more summers and 20 more winters and the spring time feels fresher and my brow though a little weary  
Feels lighter somehow ?
What if heavens kiss comes sooner ?
Time to appreciate all the beauty
Fight against the grit and dirt
Those smiling faces I have held within hands that felt sadness when they lost their grip on reality.
What ifs bring new reasonings
What if I am immortal
What if….

Flicking through pages of a long forgotten memory
And there you are
Waiting
Waiting to be remembered
Brought back to life
If only for a moment
Those days of summer
Linger upon a dreamscape so real
Almost touchable
Fragrances of heaven linger for a while
Even when I can no longer see your face
Your soul sings me sweet lullaby’s
Such a love
Such a love
Is life …..