it seems to happen
late at night (or
early in the morning
whatever you
want to call it)
i wake up with a
feeling of such loneliness
such depression
after i call your name
because i can't get
the image of you
holding the door
for me
out of my head
i can't stop dreaming
of your words
"i
      love  
             you."    
or a simple
"you're
              mine."      
and how that was
once so normal
and now,
i haven't even heard
a
   "hello."
in one ******* year
because i don't even know who you are anymore.

you hold my hand as if it's made of glass and you're terrified to shatter me. i've never been so fragile to someone. how did i get so lucky? i can't look at you without my heart driving full speed on the express way. i wish you could hear the way i think about you because i'm sorry i never know what to say and when to say it. but it's okay because someday i'll have collected all of these thoughts and i will put them down on paper. i'll read that paper to you with shaky hands and tears in my eyes and afterwards i'll say
"i do." and think to myself, how did i get so lucky?
i just hope you will, too. and, you know, maybe you won't, but at least i had the privilege of spending my time with the most beautiful blue eyes in the entire world.

i'm sorry you can't hear me when i scream "I love you" in my head
i'm sorry i'm the type who seems to always write things down instead

it's not fair.
i feel your heart beating and it's closing off the blood flow to my brain.
i want to be able to fix your problems and know how you feel and tell you you're beautiful.
but i can't. you don't let me.

she had the sky in her eyes
the grass in her hair
and blood on her wrists

when i went overseas it was like each worry
each feeling of anxiety
each puzzle piece left out
each door left open
went away.
i stopped worrying.

we all need to stop worrying.

we don't have forever. each of us could be gone tomorrow, so, why're we living like we're trapped in some box?

make the best of it.

the idea of laying my head on your shoulder after a long day gives me such a safe and relaxed feeling

i got in trouble for day dreaming again today

but i can't help it

you consume my thoughts. what am i supposed to do?

each moment i'm away from you i imagine your hands
i imagine your hands holding mine

i imagine a life where we don't fight
where all we can talk about is how much we adore each other


"i adore you."