I'm smitten
I'm in love
Track listings written
Hounds of love

i was kidding myself
all along

i told myself
maybe this could develop
and be something
that could actually happen
rather than
things that happen
inside my chaotic mind

and then he spoke
those words, so strong
and he was right
and i was wrong

suicide*  is life in the peak of it's ecstasies
dying is an adventure only the brave can take
yet we all take it
so how is it
the weak*
create their own demise?
and die

impress your fellow flawed
dress your body's doors
lock them with the key
of innocence and pity
flee to the beginning
then run towards the end
make yourself a burden
be true, or false; pretend.
enforce a fake persona
imply the things you arent
dont offer any shoulders
you arent 'agony aunt'
be selfish and be brittle
remember to be blunt
dont hum or sing or whistle
*** u lol ur a ****

i feel a raging fire
inside my bitter soul
i feel a burning desire
inside this hollow hole

what i want and crave
is not what i possess
yet still i do behave
in a manner of address
to those i detest
and make myself feel blessed


people in the sky
going somewhere new
they will never know
who  i am
or why i'm blue

they fly further away
each with their own problems
individual mistakes
the then the plane hits the breaks
and they fall
descending to the earth
what some of them deserve

the bright side
of the moon
is something seen quite rarely
the bright side
of the moon
is percieved as never scary
but let me tell you, dearest foe,
brightness is riddled with woe
happiness is just a myth
and being sane just lasts a blip
when you're stuck inside a mind
where all your thoughts are crude; unkind
wanting to escape this pit
isn't frequent, never a hit
i like being here;
the dark side of the moon
( in fact i'm in my house, trapped in my room )

the world is so cruel
and i do not like it
i pity myself
for being burdened
with the generous task
of having
to survive
in this evil place
with these evil people
that i am expected
to fall in love with

there is a difference
between loving
and living
and i
can do neither
so what is my use?

but i want to smile
and i want to be free
but i like being sad
and i despise being me

and the saddest thing
must be
the moon
and it's rage
for it sees all problems
it knows  of all plight
but it is stuck
inside the night

Watch me
But don't look at me
Talk to me
But don't speak to me
Touch me
But don't feel me

I desire to be noticed
And I want to be seen
Yet I'm frightened of social interaction
And beckoning from behind the screen

she liked it
when they looked at her
she didnt feel as though they were noticing her flaws
as many others do
she gave herself to them
innocently, devilishly;
a promiscuous shadow of her sober self

whispers
in the dark

candles
in the black

stars*
in the night

why are we blessed with such beauty,
in the hours where we are supposed to sleep?

the things you said
at 1am
were the things i kept
at the times when
i desired to die
and i conspired to cry
and i wanted to be thin
and i cut my skin

the times you looked
into my eyes
were the times i kept
when i saw the lies

the times you whispered
and made me smile
were what i remembered
when i needed to hide*
                        
                                          then came the times
                                          where you were unkind
                                          and i did not keep those
                                         for they kept mine

my thoughts are frazzle
that dance in the light
an untamed wildfire
that burns through the night

a stick of blue incense
a coil of sweet smoke
a sickening scent
the words that weren't spoke

the letters i wrote
i never did send
and still i have hope
and still i pretend

why am i this way
why, tell me why
help me betray
the people that lied

isn't it sad
how the twinkling lights
in the distance
entice us,
into making solid plans
for our futures
and how
we are deluded
and tricked
into believing
those twinkling lights
are our guiding star?

still the words
do pierce my soul
and make me feel
unbeautiful

still the looks
do come my way
and make me feel
that i shouldn't stay

'why don't you come?'
the people ask
' we will have fun,
we'll have a laugh'
if only they knew
the reason why
sometimes people
will make me cry

yet how am i going to survive if my only true desire is to be completely alone and away from the world?

~~~~psychedelic mania ~~~~

.

i kissed you in the sunlight
you held me in the rain
i talked to you at midnight
you said i was to blame
i hurt you in september
you cried and were in pain
i think you're getting better
you  should forget my name

you are very strange
and not in a good manner
id like to see you change
and be a little thinner

you are not very clever
you're clumbsy with your words
'you wont get into heaven
if you're head's stuck in the world'

for these words do repulse you
and obviously , no
you are not hating truth
just dont know where to go

oh how the strings of the willow leaves
dangle , delicately from the strong and majestic branches
oh,how the beauty of willow trees
is soaked up in the array of quick glances
the glances, made by a stranger
when perhaps keeping children from danger
or perhaps in a dream, when sleeping
why is the willow still weeping?

yet again
the night came
and she sat there
hopeless
and
thoughful
what would her future be?
she laughed,
for wishing her life away
was her *only virtue