out of all the things that she havent tried
death,
is always something that stirs up her mind
bewildered,
fascinated
of how a single action
can cause a ripple effect of emotions
she wanted to see the reaction
of the people that never really showed anything to her
she wanted to know what it feels like to lie down
with serenity and peace
plastered in a motionless face.
before, she made a decision
attempted
but she is too weak,
she ponders
if being dead
is the same feeling as her being alive
she knows that she can try
with darkened mind
and shattered heart
there is no turning back this time

Twenty
I never thought a number would throw me into a rollercoaster of emotions
Twenty
Was my age when life gives me flying kisses of ruination
All the feelings that I kept in the back of my heart
Provoked by a number
Twenty
Was the day I witnessed my own death
In front of the mirror I keep convincing myself
that it is all fine
Its alright
Twenty
As I swallow the pill that my shadow gave me
I choked
I laughed
I tasted my own tears
"bittersweet" I told myself
only the hands of despair is there to help
I touched it's cold palms
And left my soul frozen and somber
My feet can no longer feel and wander
Twenty
Please tell me
How to stop a number
How can it be a dagger
How can twenty be a melancholy's epitome

21,600

apat na taon akong nanahimik
dinampot ang pira-pirasong sarili
nagbabakasakaling sa pangalawang pagkakataon ay mabuo muli
di man kagaya ng noon na walang bahid ng basag
umaasang mabuo at makatayo sa kabila ng mga lamat
at nang dumating ang araw
na naisip kong kaya ko nang muling tumayo
sinubukan ko namang lumakad
dahan dahan at papalayo
kanang paa..kaliwang paa..
at nakaurong ng kaunti
kanang paa..kaliwang paa..
at natututo na muli
sa marahang paglakad ko
hindi ko inaasahan na mapapadaan ako sayo
di mo ako kilala at ganun din ako sayo
pero pinili kong manatili
dahil ano nga bang mali?
pinili mo din manatili
dahil ano nga bang mali?
lumagpas ng minuto, oras, araw, linggo
nandito padin tayo

pero bakit parang gusto ko nang tumakbo
hawak ang kamay mo at tumakbong papalayo

tumakbo at sabay na kikilalanin ang hinaharap
tumakbo at sabay na abutin ang mga pangarap
tumakbo magkahawak ang kamay, sa hirap man o sa sarap

gusto kong tumakbo

sa aking pananabik ay nabanggit ko to sa iyo

at humakbang ka ng isa palayo..

sinabi ko muli sayo
kanang paa..kaliwang paa..palayo

sinabi mo sa akin na di mo kayang sumabay
na ang nais ko ay di maibibigay

at doon naalala ko

oo nga pala napadaan lang ako.

I can see mountains up in the sky
I wonder if one day I'll be able to hike up on those rocks painted orange by the peeking sun
I want to feel the air where birds wander and fly
Be able to touch a soothing veil and calmly hum
Inhale the foreign fragrance far from what I'm used to
Hope that it will recolor the faded visions that I am currently swimming through

We share the same sight,
but we differ in vision
Same mouth and tongue,
but we speak different reasons
Same soul,
asking for explanation
Same heart,
both filled with confusion
Same two hands and feet,
lost in wandering in the same monochrome direction
Same being, and we're both still waiting.

We are looking at different colored skies
Different hues and shades
But I know the strings in our heart will always be tied
For we are staring up at the same vast ocean up high