A picture won't do justice,
For beauty is in motion.
Those thousand words are useless.
They don't denote devotion.

My rhymes and schemes may capture
A sliver of a moment,
While blinks of yours enrapture
And hold me without comment.

For words and verse are nothing
Compared to feelings fleet,
And just blinking's what I need
From you to be complete.

I'll tell you halfheartedly, that I love you.
Sooner or later you'll understand the "No Trespassing" sign outside my door.
Look out from my window,
You're guaranteed to seek absolution,
Desperation is contagious,
Though somehow I'm immune.

tried to smoke some drugs last nightwhen i was really drunk.just before my head went popi think they called it ***** balance went, legs were bentlike bambi on the iceput my coat on upside downspewed on my shoes twice raced two blue turtles up my stairson route to bed,....i thinkfollowed by big bunny wabbitsall of them were pink buzzing sound, head spun roundtried the door but missedthink i'll leave the drugs aloneand stick to getting ****** 

Five
Seven
Five

(which is actually one-two-one, but don't take any notice of that)

I'm sick of the smiles in our photographs,
because I'm not happy,
and I don't understand how I ever could be.

When we drove to your funeral,
we had to pull over so that I could puke
and cry,
it got all over my dress and we had to go back home
so that I could change.

I went into my room and stripped naked,
then I started screaming and throwing things,
I broke the mirror, and ripped everything off the walls,
I threw the sheets and the covers all onto the floor.
I ripped all the clothes of their hangers,
pushed everything off the open surfaces,
threw everything I could find at the windows,
wanting to prove to myself that something could break more than a heart.

I hate myself,
but mostly I hate myself for loving you,
for letting myself forget the world and get lost in you.

I hate myself,
for not asking you when I had the chance,
or telling you,
or even caring enough to show it.

I'm sorry that I can't think straight,
and that I never will,
and that you'll never understand me the way that I understood you.

What have I known, what do I know?
Smiles make me stop and stare.
Those moments.
oh -
Those perfect moments.
I have to stare a little longer.
Linger on your motions.
Your eyes catch mine.
We both have to look away, it is to much
for sight                    for words                    for sounds.
These feelings.
I can reminisce about us.





I remember when I was happy.
I could hold God in my hands.

I am so happy that

you.
And I.

Exist.

It is because of all of you.


I barely make it through the day when I see you.
You see my heart skips a beat...
and then another.

Sometimes I pretend we photographed the escapades of light.
Sometimes I remember the tents on the ocean.
Sometimes I pretend we have seen sun rises.
Sometimes I pretend that we go places no one dares to go.
Sometimes I remember the brevity of our moments.

But don't you remember?
Those are memories.


I don't believe it.
I love you.

Have you ever felt the pang of strangeness?
Tempting you towards the sameness,
When all of you
Is split in two:
Your mind says, “No”
Your heart says, “I am different!”

Have you ever heard the burdened sorrow?
Crying out, “There’s no tomorrow!”
And all of you,
Is crying, too,
Your mind lets go
Your heart knows nothing different.

There is no floor
Below the water there is sand and dust
My feet disappear below the mist
And below that is a floor of nothing.

Lock and key, relative conductivity
Separation of anxieties
Generally elementary
Universal energy
Scientific inquiry
Empirical discovery

What a bunch of crap.

I bathe in fake white plastic
I swim in silent smiles
Dionysian warfare paintings
Classical textual narrating

Fitness, happiness, soporific movies
Genial tendencies, braced for ingenuity
Waiting for a paroxysm to bring forth neologisms
That test the boundaries of scientific truth
That recapture the errant minds of youth
We could make new buildings or lose a tooth

I hold the latter higher than that
I tilt the ladder there and back
Assiduous and wont, *** for tat
All a game, a joke at that
Your domain, provoked and trapped
Impressionistic spinal taps
On canvases of green and black
All from within cerebral shacks

Wind hammers palm trees on windowpanes
Wind tears down houses, rips apart planes
Wind doesn't move me, yet seems urbane
It's so jejune, it's all the same
I'm tired and lonely, powder remains
Pink like reagents in reactive flames
Quick like catalysts jumping inane
Frontal lobes retired my brain.