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Pink Halverson Jan 2010
You would never know what happened
Wouldn't know what the explosion felt like
Till the bomb ticked its final tick
You could never know how you'd feel about me
Till I really beat your heart with a stick.
You used to say "I could never hate you"
How naive you were
Because here you are now
With your face in a frown
Your heart in a stir.
I knew it back then
Just as I know it now
How easy it would be
How simple and quick,
So much that you're sick
No, it wouldn't be hard
To make you hate me.
Because hate is your reaction to pain
Whether or not you give it that name
Hate is still hate
And now you hate me.
You expected romance from a skater boy.
That really is on you.
What did you think
he was going to do?
Buy you roses?
Make you dinner?
Give you something sweet,
heartfelt?

You expected romance from a barfly.
What a silly thing to do!
It's your fault you wanted more
when he wants nothing
more from you.
He doesn't want
your stupid flowers,
fancy dinners,
heartfelt things.
He just wants
to go play pool
where all the drunken people sing.

You expected romance from a punker.
You learned this lesson once.
They attempt to write you poetry
not knowing how to rhyme with 'love.'
They won't send you sweet songs
Cause they'd rather faces melt.

Really
the fall
you experience now
is from wanting something else.
Pink Halverson Aug 2023
Isn't this a different version
of the game you used to play?
'If I only did this
he'd want to sleep with me again?'

If I only,
If I only,
If I only,
He would.

But you should know better than most
That he won't.
'22
'22
ever since the end
of the longest thing I've ever known
I can't help but find myself
looking around for clues,
little pieces of thread
that hint at an unwraveling.
If I learn not to pick at them
can I keep it all in tact?
Can I keep you close to me?

When you seperate our books
into 'yours' and 'mine' shelves
I'm wondering
if it's so they're easier to pack.
When I'm not home
are you going through our pen drawer
to make your own portable ink?
Creating divisions in your mind,
color-coded cabinets
you can quickly grab and leave?
I'm walking towards
a thin red line.
The only thing
slowing me down
is there's
nowhere
to
hide.
All of the pain's on the surface.
Nothing to drown it out now.
I try to pull strands
to hold it together
they unravel from use
in my hands

broken legs
cannot stand

empty hearts
cannot pretend.
I have to wonder
if you'll like the sober
version of me.
I wonder if I will.

But
the answer to the first question
is more important.
Because I'm stuck with me
and you aren't.
I had the worst dream about you last night.
I hope you're doing alright.
I wish I could ask
but that would cross
the uncrossable line.

Just know
I think about you all the time.
I think we've finally
lost interest in each other.

You got the gold
I got the silver.
Where are the strings I can cut?
Where are the embers I can smother?

How can I put this in a jar
and put it on the shelf
like you can?

I know I pulled the trigger
and I must eat the bullet
but how are you able to drag
your own dead body through it?
Pink Halverson Aug 2022
without him i feel so lonely
but maybe that makes me
my own victim
of the patriarchy
that i can't stand
and hold my own
without a man's validation

or maybe
that's just
a symptom of
my lack of self-esteem

maybe those are results
of my own
shortcomings

My initial thought
is
'how do i get him to come save me?'
even when i know
he's the one i'm mad at

i'm not strong enough
never have been
to stand on my own
to have my own back
i always need someone else's
reassurance
and i think they always
bet on that

when do i learn
to become my own person
and stand up even when
everyone else is
laying flat?
I'm sorry you only got
           1 year of freedom.
I'm sorry I was a coward
            and wouldn't stand up to him
            on your behalf
                  (and mine.)
I'm sorry we couldn't be closer
           when you had so few
           people in your corner.
I'm sorry I joked about taking
            your ****** autonomy away from you.






I'm worried for your son.
He cannot go to his father.
Pink Halverson Nov 2020
Pretty little bird,
Who created her own cage,
Who once hated her own wings
For being flighty.
Now stares outward
From behind her wooden bars,
That she picked so meticulously
For their comfort
            and safety.

And only now
           notices their restrictions.

There is safety
                but there are no skies.
        She loves to sing
                         but also to fly.

If she breaks some branches
    for a doorway
will the rest crumble
with her inside?

Or is it possible
      to have a nest to return to
    As well as the sky?

Should she try?
Pink Halverson Jan 2010
If you need a replacement
I'm yours
If you need a new best friend
I'm yours
If you need a distraction
I'm yours
If you need an escape plan
I'm yours

I'm here when you have nothing better to do
I'm here when your worlds at its worst
If you need a cheap laugh, I'm your buddy.
Or a waste of you money, just call me

I'm your "better things to do" on your Saturday night
Than hang with your girl or your fam
I'm your "I'll be there later" and soon you'll forget
Cause you're lost in your own little land

When you're low on money, I'm splitting
When you're full of it I'm by your side
Which you won't cause your job you are quitting
You can't get up to get there on time

I'm your friend when you leave all your others
To hang out with me and get through
The **** that your life has been turned to
Who am I? Dear friend, I am you.

But
Who am I
If you are no longer
Yourself?
Pink Halverson Oct 2010
Itch
Itch
Itch
Have you ever had an
itch you can't scratch
because someone told you
it was too far
on your back
arms
can't reach
that far

they tell you
but what if they had not
what if they
had not told me
that it was
not okay
to do a certain thing

but when i don't listen
and i scratch
myself
i can
scratch
and
scratch
that
itch
itch itch

until i
set my wings
free
and
the itch
shall cease

there shall
be peace
when
all my feelings
can be freed.
Pink Halverson Jun 2010
Stand up on top of your castle
Watch all the pretty lights dance
Come down to join in the party
Trip out and dance

Lucy makes everyone happy
But confused
The outside world is  fun one
But inside
There's a whole nother fun you can use

Psychedelics will open your mind
To the world outside
and the one within
Which are both seperate
         and the same

You can't just be focused on the outside,
The pretty things,
The fame

Inside it is beautiful,
Spiritual
Quiet and secluded
With too much outside
Your brain can get deluded

X and acid, TCB
DXM and DMT
**** and *****
All the drugs you use
Can be abused

That bass can make you lose your mind
Go blind
With all the bright lights
Until your mind's not the only thing you can't find

Unwind
Sit inside Zack's truck
And take some down time
Get your mind unstuck

This place is beautiful
These people are trippin
But if I see one more hot ***
I'm gonna lose my loose grip
and
****** is not sexuality
Peace, Love, Unity, Respect
Help you out when you need it
What's given out is given back

Aesthetic
is a beautiful
but
overwhelming
experience.
Pink Halverson Jun 2010
I am not your night owl
I am not your midnight friend
You can't just come over
Late in the night
And expect to get with me

We never see the light of daytime
Me and my nocturnal love
You always say you're too busy
When you're really just out havin fun

But the world turns on
And I'm finding you turn
    at a different speed
Your reason for living
Is definitely not my creed

"Get over yourself."

**How dare you?
Pink Halverson Nov 2010
The shrill reaches my ears
And I'm in tears
        Solid stone shaken by
a gust of wind
        Solid bone shattered by
a whispered secret

My pendulum swaying
             balance broken
How can you walk around
    when the walls are shaking?

Steady peace
is what I'm trying to reach
  struggling
     when all my flat feathers
have been ruffled
     when all the outside has
           been muffled
by the silent storm within

by the breaths caught
       short and fast
more choked back
            than the last
try to remain steadfast

try to recover
when all the noise is over
when the pain is really gone
    why does it linger?

Why am I still trying to
            figure out
How to turn the ****
                             thing off
  when the task has been
              accomplished
when the ringing
          has already stopped?
Pink Halverson Jan 2010
A farmer, a diligent worker, I am.
Passed down the same employment
The same land, generation to generation
This field has never grown the best crops
But always enough to scrape by
It has always been, to the naked eye,
Filled with weeds
But I labor all day, sometimes in the blaring heat
Pulling weeds and caring for each precious plant
For not being one more **** I have to pick.
Some weeds are deep-rooted and will not pull
And I pass them by
Acres and acres of land with weeds
Harbored off into sections
Singly alone, it takes weeks
To rid one of weeds and then harvest
But the little money I gain back from that
I cherish that much core.
A farmer from generations and generations of diligent workers am I
And this is my story.

As I was working in my field one day a man came up to me
He had a clean pressed black suit
And hundred dollar sunglasses
Well dressed for business.
He asked me, "Why do you work so long and hard with pulling deep-rooted weeds when you hardly get any pay?"
I explained my family's field of generations and generations.
It never gets any better, but hey, it never gets any worse.
I could feel him looking down upon my labor in my family's field of generation after generation
He said to me, "A pretty lady such as yourself should not be working in such heat."
This man, he told me of his fields back home.
He had cows, even. Chickens and horses.
"The finest of the finest," he assured me, "bred from rare and royal breeds."
He told me of a home where I would be cool and looked after and no longer would have to
"scratch such pretty hands working in such a lowdown field."
Well this business man in his clean pressed black suit
And his hundred dollar sunglasses,
He took my hand, looked me in the eyes
and tenderly said,
"It doesn't have to be this way.
Come with me, I will show you."
And I followed him to his red corvette
And we drove into the sunset
On passed the moon
And when we arrived
It was as splendid as he had said.
Fields and fields of green
"All of this is yours," he said, "just stay with me."

And for days I was cared for by him
I spent my time in the cool house
Both of us together
He rarely left, but when he did it was to harvest the field
It had few **** that he didn't bother pulling
Or to feed and care for the prized chickens, horses, cows.
Or to cash the money the fields had earned
Always giving me
Much more than I needed.
He massaged my back and sang me songs
And told me I would never have to worry about anymore weeds for the rest of my life
Let him do all the worrying.
And I did.
And all was well.

That night I awoke with an itch in my throat
That itch turned to a cough and I fully opened my lids
To a thick grey haze that turned at the soft flesh of my eyes
I coughed again and again to sit up and look around the smoke-filled room.
I crawled my way out of my silk-sheeted bed in my silk nightgown and tried to call out
But nothing but tears came from my eyes
I felt my way to the door, touching my money on the dresser and I pocketed it.
I struggled though the flames and the heat of the smoke.
My vision blurry, head light, lungs shriveling, eyes burning, feet cut and scraped from broken glass upon the floor
And as I finally mad my way to the front door
My hand passed over a note taped to the wall in the entry way.
I pocketed this as well.
I rushed out into the cold night air that felt free from the heat of the thick haze
I blinked away the tears in my eyes, took a few breath and cleared the dizziness
I pulled out the note and it read:
"If you survive, I want you to know: I'm sorry."
I continued to cough.
And I didn't bother to blink away these tears.

The police arrived a few hours later.
The house and barn and field burned down,
They were still able to identify the cause:
There was a storm that night and lightening had struck
A tall **** near the edge of the field
By the barn
This **** was big, tall, and deep-rooted.
No one had bothered to pull it.
The barn caught fire first and all the finest of the finest chickens and horses and cows bred from rare and royal breeds
Were laid to wast,
Bones found in the ashes.
The field and home burned at the same rate,
No bones found in the ashes.
And the man dressed for business
In his clean-pressed black suit
And his hundred dollar sunglasses
Was no where to be found.
The police said they would do their best to find him
But I knew they wouldn't do either.

I ran back home in the chill of the night that had once seemed comforting
It bit at my toes and my ears and the tears on my cheeks
It numbed everything else that the protection the silk offered
My rubbed-soft feet found it hard to run more than a mild in the cold dirt and rough rocks
But they ran back past the moon and out of the sunrise,
Coarse and calloused by the time they reached the old farm.
There were now more weeds than ever and my hands had run smooth from not a days work, not a **** pulled so long
And I removed the burnt, torn, frozen silk and bought new sturdy working clothes with the money I pocketed
I looked out upon the old abandoned field of generations and generations of my mothers
And I prepared for the fresh open wounds I would have by the ned of this day
Determined to make this field as beautiful as it once had been I grabbed the base
Of the first **** at my feet.
And pulled.
Pink Halverson Jan 2010
That look in his eyes
And I retreated
To the dark, dark place where even my mind won't bother me.
Where I become nothing
And nothing welcomes me.

I retreat to the place I have not been
For such a while
And I don't even feel myself falling
Into black.

Time ceases.
Nothing consumes.

But his voice becomes light
And its kindness pulls to me
"Come back," he says.
"Come back."
My eyes open to him
And he gazes back at me,
Perfect and sweet.
"Where did you go?
You left me all alone."
That is it.
He understands.

And I will never feel for anyone

What I feel for this perfection in front of me.

I will never be able to love someone

As much as I love him.
Pink Halverson Jan 2010
All I want to do right now
Is lay with you
Like we did last night.
My eyes closed, hand on your chest
Holding you as close as you can get
And fall asleep
In your arms.
Pink Halverson Oct 2010
what is it inside
that you do to me
when I am around you
there is stillness
there is peace
You set my heart free
and I can no longer feel
it's crazy beats
that drive me crazy
when you are around
there is no need for anything else
why did I have
to go and be myself
mess everything up
Because All I Want
is to lay beside you
and count your heartbeats
until they reach infinity
start over at zero
to have an excuse to keep
you next to me

I love you
so much that it burns inside
when you are gone
Touch my skin
and I go mad with lust
You are the one thing
that sets my soul free
and brings the end to
the unending need
Pink Halverson May 2023
you said
it makes a difference
that i give a ****
that i'm trying
to do something about it
that i'm aware

but it doesn't really matter does it?
the result is still the same
my sadness has slowed the pace

almost to a stop.

and all i really want
is to be that girl you wanted

but i turned out to be
just as haunted
just as flawed
just as much of a burden

as anyone else you had to hide blades from.
Pink Halverson Jan 2010
Tonight I am alone
And I feel it in my veins.
I am not needed for your life to continue
And I never will bee.

Tonight, every friend I have encountered
Is with other friends
Laughing, playing,
Boozing, tripping,
And here I sit.
On the outside in the fence of my own self.
Trapped from ever becoming more
From ever having that certain spark
That certain thing
That makes any one person
Like you.
Tonight
I am here and I am staring into my future
Shivering
From how alone I might be.

And I know my heart is tricking me

Because
Losing him just seems like losing everything.
Pink Halverson Jul 2018
Please
Please
Please
Please
Please
Please
Please
Please
Please
Pl­ease
Don't **** yourself.
Pink Halverson Jun 2022
It hurts so much
I cannot bear
there's nowhere to run
And no way to share
I cannot tell you what's wrong
For I will be a broken record player
repeating the same sad song
until it's stuck in your head.
I want to protect you from this
So that we're not both dragged down
Maybe it would be better for you
To not wait for the anchor
to drag your boat underwater

I should be the only one who drowns.
Pink Halverson Jan 2010
I'm sorry you can't anchor me
Cut the rope,
Cut you down
I cannot hold on to you
Have to let your go
You have to let me go

I have stepped away
and now
I am turning my head
To look forward
To let go of the past

I must move on
And I cannot
With you pulling me back


I'm sorry.
Pink Halverson Jun 2022
We all like to paint ourselves
       as the victim
But you had a ******* museum.
I'm not saying you didn't
       have the currency
To hang all those paintings
But you loved to live there
       and stare at them.

You never showed me all your pictures,
Never purged yourself of paint.
You said I made you happy
But clung to pigments
                       and brushstrokes
Like they were the only thing
your arms could be full of.
Your primary lover:
the sadness you painted.

Well I guess I handed you
                                              every supply
To paint your biggest piece of all.
I'm sure the placard underneath reads:
The Marriage and the Downfall.
Today you must be staring at it
Just like me.

But tomorrow
I hope
you find your way outside
and breathe
                                                 fresh air.
Pink Halverson Jan 2010
Just three more days
Until I get my baby back
Just three more days
Til I can kiss his hand again.
Tell me how am I to pass the time
Every second is a countdown
Yes,
This weekend
I'll hold my beautiful lover
On Friday
He'll get to hold me too.

It seems like it's been such a long time
Since I ran my fingers through his hair
Seems like it's been a million years
Since I last held his hand.

Oh everyday I pray,
Wish for him to come home to me
Where we can stay forever
On everyday I wish,
Hope for him to say he's coming back to me

And that he's never gonna leave.

Just three more days...
Pink Halverson Nov 2011
Why was I so looking forward to this?
At least before, the smoke filled the emptiness.
There's no big change in being sober
Except for the fact that my frown won't turn over.
Now it seems only loneliness stayed
I can remember things better
    but who wants that anyway?
At least before I wanted to live.
I had something to live for,
    some comfort to get.
I would rather just forget my dreams
If it meant that I wouldn't always want
To rip at my seams
Till they bleed and they bleed
And I bleed no more.

Cause who really gives a **** anyway?
Pink Halverson Jan 2010
I don't want to be
Another body's kryptonite
I've watched that story
Played that game

Maybe I'm just out
Looking to get hurt
Like I have hurt
Looking to be cheated
Like I had cheat

Go ahead
I'm not afraid
Of looking like a fool

I want to forget
Forget about feelings
Forget about love
Forget about caring
Attachment is suffering
Pink Halverson Sep 2022
I hate that we're already in
the 'remember when' phase
the 'is he just tired
or does he not want me' days
Nights when I wait
to hear your soft sleeping breath
so I can let loose the tears
hours after their threat.
'Remember when' my face
was so chafed from your beard
and those hours of kissing?
Now it's a peck on the lips
You collapse on the couch
completely zone into a screen.

You say that you're grumpy
and you don't know why
I want to suggest that
it's cause you haven't had ***
but
I'm so scared of another
loving, quiet
rejection
the unreturned touches
leave me
as unsatisfied as unfinished phrases,
unturned pages
of the book
we no longer read together.
Pink Halverson Jun 2012
Be careful what you say,
Be careful how you act.
Cause if you make the wrong move
He might get mad.

He might get mad
And say he won't
be coming back,
You lost your one last chance.

So tiptoe carefully
And think before you speak
-keep your tongue in cheek.
Because he's holding back a lot
And he won't tolerate everything.
You get no free passes
to be how you want to be.

So be very cautious,
Pay attention to how you speak
Cause you just might lose
Your one last chance
And then
He'll leave.
Pink Halverson Jan 2010
I'm sorry that you have to go so low
For just that little happy
I'm sorry that I pushed you there
Giving you no other way
For running our underneath you as your balancing post
Tripping you flat on your face
And not helping you out
Pink Halverson Aug 2010
Will you step up to the plate
swing and take your best chance
It's so ******* easy, boy
Just look at the ball.
It's right there waiting
in front of your eyes.
Moment paused
you stand bat drawn back
Staring at this chance in front of you
you act like you're ready
What the hell is your problem, boy?
You flippin idiotic
or somethin?
You look like you're ready
you act like you want to
so swing
the ******* bat already!
Pink Halverson Feb 2011
There's a choke in my gut
That just must be released
But the open window
Will not let it free
The itch in my throat
           leads to coughs
Will make them think
I hear their whispers
And I loathe them
A bit more than I
loathe the rest.
My chest
Catches the rock
Like a child
in a basket

'why?'

No one can answer
They don't know either
They cannot
even hear
Their own thoughts
drown them loudly

How can I step
back up to where I stood?
I know what I must do,
But I cannot.

Spring must come
Because the sun is missing.
Pink Halverson Jan 2010
I guess that someone could say
I've got you and you've got me
In every shape and form
Matching scars
Upon our hearts
I shot once babe
And you shot twice
Nothing's perfect, perfectly nice
So grab your sword
And grab your guns
Tie your tattered blindfold
Take your peeping Toms
Find your secret weapons
And
Ready
Aim
Fire!
Beg
Pink Halverson Jul 2012
Beg
She doesn't know what to do.
The world has forced her on her knees
In front of you.
Leaving her with the pain of asking please.

What will you say?
What will you do?

She doesn't want to do it.
But she has no choice
besides reaching out her empty palms
full of shame.
Begging.

What will you say?
What will you do?

She doesn't want to ask
For things that should be offered.
Pink Halverson Jan 2010
It's good to see you too my friend
Where have I been?
Making stupid promises
To some old stupid boy
But now that's done.
And you and I are free to do
Whatever we so please
Bleed.
Out everything.
Bleed.
Until my heart stops beating
Because every time it does
I feel the pain of love
Make me bleed
Out all this poisonous
Heartache.
I will be okay some day.
But you,
My friend
Will help me.
Bleed.
What was the point in keeping promises
When it would all end anyway
It's nice to see you too my friend
Where have I been?
Somewhere I shouldn't have.
I'm sorry I waited
So long.
Box
Pink Halverson Jan 2010
Box
I want to lock this feeling in a box
So like a precious memory
I can keep it near my heart
And pull it out when the path is dark
For when the waiting is too long and cold
For when the future shows its darkened side
And for when you are nowhere to be found
When you are gone, disappeared like a distant dream
I can feel what it feels like to just hold you.
I can feel your warmth and your love right next to me
As if you weren't just some distant memory
For the nights when I cry because you're not around
I can calm myself down and just feel you

How do I survive this?
Surely, I know that I will
But sometimes my heart feels like it's breaking
Sometimes my skin feels so cold
Because I know you will be gone
And I won't have your lips to kiss
I won't have your gazing eyes
I won't have you to hold
Tell me
How do I survive?
Pink Halverson Jan 2010
You come around spreading your magic
But leave her feeling down and worthless
Alone and sad and brokenhearted
And I'm the one left to pick up the pieces

This is all to your blame
But you don't even have to see the pain
In her eyes
This is all your doing
But you don't have to see what's happening
You don't have
To see her cry

You're the one who did this
And I'm the one who's left
Picking up her
Brokenhearted
Pieces.
Pink Halverson Feb 2010
This poem is a tribute to the broken-hearted
The trampled on, the stompled on,
the hurt, and the cheated.

Those fighting the fight
for normalcy, for sanity.
Struggling against the painful beat
of the life-support.
To those dazed and confused,
time passes quickly.
Those who've lost their footing,
lost their harmony.
To those who hail from broken love,
the ones trying to break the chain.
to unmemorize the memories,
The unwanted, the replaced.

To all those trying not to make connections
with every single thing,
Those trying to find their melody,
remember how to sing.
Those trying to get out of bed each morning
without falling on the floor.
Those who can't catch their breath anymore.

You will be free.
You will survive.
And you will thrive.
Pink Halverson Aug 2010
I'm fighting for happiness
But it's slipping through my fingers
like the sands of time
that it took you to take your words back
-stop stealing mine
I don't like your sweet teasing ridicules
they burn through my fingertips
whenever I touch you
your kiss seals my lips
from screaming like I want to
Your embrace imprisons me
From running like I yearn to
Your heads stop the fists
I need to make
Your caring eyes stop the tears
Product of the burns you placed on my heart
There's a gaping hole in the emptiness that I put between us
I'd like to sit close
But you don't deserve it
Punishing you
for the shame
of putting me to tears.
Pink Halverson Jun 2010
Untie the strings
Cause they're not worth climbing anymore
My hands are getting rope burns
And I can't wait for you to pull me up

I don't care anymore
If I'm drowning in the water

If I'm floating alone in the sea

the pleasure's no longer equal to the pain

So I have to stop climbing

Come on down
if you feel like taking a swim
Pink Halverson Jan 2010
Mocking
Those little squares make
Painfully long days
Seem like seconds
That they can fit
Into such a small space
Upon the wall
That such a long day
Filled with so many torturous thoughts can fit
Into a tiny part of the world
It is horrible
Pink Halverson Jan 2010
The world caves in
And suffocates me
Nothing will ever be
How it used to be

Can't find peace
In anything I do
My heart is unhappy

I cannot find my path
I cannot find my happiness
All I know is that I want to see you
But you don't want to see me.
All I know is that I don't want to see you
But you want to see me

The world has crashed
And I am crushed underneath it.
No air.
No escape.
No relief.
Pink Halverson Nov 2020
I'm disintegrating
even hard rock's made into canyon
how long can you keep going
how long can you hold?
the village safe
from the avalanche?
-give it a few more days-
at what point is the break?
or is it like erosion
so slow that you don't notice
so gradual, there is no pain?
but you choose
each day
are you withering away?
Are you pushing yourself so hard
that the cliff is quickly nearing?
How much will it hurt
when you hit
the bottom?
you choose
you choose
you choose
But you can only think about
what you will lose.
Pink Halverson Nov 2020
I don't mean to make you cry
But my own tears are rivers
This water breaking stone down
into canyons
Until there's nothing left,
just emptiness
Just a spectacle for others to stare at
And to tempt the other jumpers
Who feel just as empty inside.

Nowhere to hide
When the closet isn't big enough
The darkness doesn't last long enough
And you spend your whole days tired
Uninspired
Walking on the thinnest wire
That you try not to fall off of.
Why not jump?
One gust of wind will blow you over
Why wait?
Till then the torture's never over
The other side is never closer
The end always only in sight
Why fight?
Pink Halverson Aug 2010
One time I ate mushrooms
One looked like a ****
I must have had too many
Cause seeing patterns
Made me sick
But it was wonderful
At the same time
I was connected to the whole
Soul, Body, Mind
It was pretty rad
Except when I yacked
Now I'm yearning for more
So I can go back.

Caps
Pink Halverson Jan 2015
My deck was shuffled,
the cards spit across the room.
I must
find
all the aces,
put
the deck
back together.

I finally have gathered
almost all
these squares,
these
unchecked boxes,
go back in order.

the aces
still
give me papercuts
so I leave
them on the floor

for now.
Cat
Pink Halverson Aug 2010
Cat
The first time I drank away the pain
you weren't there
The first time I drank for the numbness I would
feel
It was release
It was beautiful

I passed out on the couch
And you called me
A couple times around 1 AM
But I didn't answer
Or call you back

And now I always wonder...
What would you have said?
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