hope and expectations are the things that kills the spirit of one. be proud of the littlest progress by everyone around you.
everybody deserves to be proud of
- as they made through each day, which are sometimes bright and sometimes gloomy.
congratulate them, and pray that they'll open their eyes the next day to the shining rays of the sun with happiness and joy -

live life to the fullest according to your beliefs and principles. make them strong.

you will never lose if you work for Allah. He'll reward you, He'll take care of you. once you have Him, you need nothing else.

indeed, Allah is the All-Sufficient. alhamdulillah

Reasons not to love me.
Number one.
I'm too kind, too forgiving
It won't be fun for you to watch me suffer and feed your ego because while you expected for me to be in flames I was still, swimming in the ocean of the love I have yet to discover parts of it.
Reason number two.
I cry a lot. I cry when I'm happy I cry when I'm sick I cry when im mad I cry when you give me your  big, warm and sweaty palms for me to hold when I'm in need of an embrace. I do not cry when I am sad.
Instead, I weep, I sob and I moan in agony and oh crying is just tears but those involve body movements like holding my face with my hands or putting my hands on my chest as if I'm holding my heart from it bursting out in pieces like the confetti we saw that night when you told me I was beautiful.
Reason 3.
I love too much. I love too hard. It will scare you away trust me because I dont think you could overpower the amount of love I could give to you, honey if I had to give you my heart to you, I would. Literally, I would die for you. I would wrap your fears and hush you a lullaby reminding you that I love every pieces of you that aren't pretty. You are worth the risk for me. Every single day, I convinced myself my tears at night are worth it. Until you left me. That's when I know it was all a waste, an illusion a dust. It was all that to you. You let me dive into your ocean of your once proclaimed everlasting love and I let myself drowned.
So don't love me. Please.

putting back my pieces together. holding up and standing strong. i shouldn't be bothered anymore, i shouldn't care. i have to stop

a ruthless person is what you are labelling me as now. it is so unbelievable how you are able to put me in such a situation and then call me ruthless - which is nothing like me at all (if you know me well). i searched the whole internet for its definition, hoping it wasn't what i really thought it was. but all the results turned out the same - cruel, merciless. it did me no good and more tears. i am hurt

i really hope you learn something out of this mess and think before you speak. /please/

i
am
trying.