I've kissed more bottles than I've kissed you, but I  never drink enough to forget how sweet your lips once were tracing every line, and every flaw on my body,
whispering how perfect I was for you.
I can't smoke enough to numb my body from the ache of longing for your arms around me when I needed them most. Or to ease the thought of how perfectly my hand would fit in yours.

But point is no matter how drunk or high I am, you can never numb a broken heart. Silly me I was warned you were a player. A stone cold killer, you killed me.

The thought of you hit me again tonight, I really thought I was doing okay, it's been a few days now but my god the first three days I couldn't even stand up without feeling sick to my **** stomach, I popped a couple of pain killers the first night, and washed them  down with ***** but it didn't stop the **** pain just made me drunk and the only thing on my tongue was your name. The second night I cut up my wrists just to make sure I could still feel, because my god when you left me the way you did I could've sworn I died, and I think the third night was probably the worst, because the thought of how you touched me and took the only thing I had to lose was burning up inside me leading to a pool of tears and this horrible feeling of emptiness, God I needed someone else's touch to help me forget yours. Unfortunately it was another form of self destruction because I knew that when I let this other boy in me the emptiness was fulfilled for a couple of hours, but as soon as I went home I found myself where I started alone and with a bottle of ***** trying to forget the pain.

Lonely days, even lonelier nights
Addictions getting worst,and everything really hurts.
Living days and nights in a continuous loop of heartache and emptiness
The euphoria of even looking at the beautiful stars at night it fading faster then my happiness,
Because instead of looking up at the stars and dreaming about brighter things all I can focus on is the black sky, the sad black sky, the blackness that fills me up, the blackness that takes over the good, if there so sick to my **** stomach not even the ***** can burn the pain away so instead I fill my lungs with smoke. Just smoke away the pain. Never lasts though the emptiness will forever remain the same, and ******* I'll never be satisfied with the mess I've made.
-psm

Im drowning deeper and deeper in a dark place,
drifting further and further away from everyone and everything,
god this isnt fun.

where am i?
why am i here?
Im filled with fear.

slowly getting dragged deeper and deeper,
its so hard to breathe in this place.

Trying to get my last glimpse of light,trying to hard to whin this fight.
im loosing it,im loosing grip,

my eyes start to close,
no more luck,
im giving up.
-psm

when i was young i couldnt wait to grow up
to do all the things ive wanted to.

most importantly i wanted to be happy
and free.
i pictured growing up to be perfect.

but that wasnt reality.
dissapointemnt fled through my body
when i finally grew up.

its was the complete oposite of perfection.
it was deception.

but after all i never really grew up
im just a little girl in a big bad world.