I tried to bring back the past,
to face old hurts and joys
thinking I was so strong
and unaffected
How wrong I was;
I was affected
I thought I had moved on
and that all my yesterday's of you
were just wonderful memories
tucked quietly away for a rainy day
to smile about
I thought I could hug you,
touch the warmth of your hand
and the soft of your eyes
and feel nothing but acceptance
Instead, I felt all our yesterday's
with one look, one smile
and everything inside me changed
I remembered every moment
of our waterfall dreams
and our castles in the sky
and I remembered telling you goodbye
I thought I was strong, unaffected
and no matter how wrong
and in so many ways it may have been,
I was very much affected

~ Priya 🕉,  3/3/22

If not me, then with whom
whom to pretend with
to act tough with
to be angry with
when the answers you seek
are not answers at all
If not me, then with whom
to be your faithful eyes
when you just can't see
and to hear the things
you ignore determinedly
all the while, fervently
pushing me away
I don't know what to say
or how to be
but I'm here, waiting patiently
for you to finally see me
for me, for you
I'm here, fumbling, stumbling
through something so humbling
hating that your hurting
hating that we are crumbling
when all I want to do
is hold you, help you
be the rock you know me to be
just as you have been for me

~ Priya 🕉,  Feb 26, 22

As days and nights  have swam us by
I have managed to stay afloat
paddling away thru endless waves
alone in my one-man boat
One by one, oceans of memories
silently pass me by
as I row my way back to you
across a star flecked sky
My faith and hope delicately hang
by a few mangled golden threads
woven together in the mystical air
and the many tears for you I have shed
I'm rowing my way
across a star flecked sky
praying for a magical glimpse
of that love in your eyes
as I row my way back to you

~ Priya 🕉,  Feb 24, 22

I'm learning the sky
like leaves understands the breeze
so that I find you

You could be the clouds
here one minute, gone the next
floating past my dreams

You are all my nights
I search for you in the stars
foolishly it seems

My pleading whispers
like an owl on a branch
silently alone

I'll search endlessly
like falling leaves search for ground
so that you come home

~ Priya 🕉,  2/23/22

Do you ever see me
in your starry nights,
just after the street noise dies
amongst the many dimming lights
and all that you feel is this quietness
Perhaps that quiet is me
wrapping you in a blanket of peace
or that sudden breeze
in the shivering leaves,
that could be me kissing your cheeks
In the sky immence
and on your darkest of nights
that shimmering star
behind the dimming street lights
high up in the sky
is me
There are no miles
or oceans or obstacles between us
that can keep me from lighting your path;
just look for me in your starry nights
That shimmering star is me

~ Priya 🕉 Feb 20, 22

I found you;
hidden in a corner
on a forgotten shelf,
almost overlooked
next to something
exclusively for myself
hiding in my subconscious
where no one but me could find you

You are my needs;
and like uncultured seeds
you were left unloved
until I found you
It's my turn now
to want and need
to water my seeds
and bloom into the flower
I know I can be

~ Priya, 🕉  2/16/22

"the optimal goal is the replacement of false needs by true ones, the abandonment of repressive satisfaction"

~ Herbert Marcuse

Sometimes,
we have to step outside of ourselves
and leave the world we are in
to find the peace we have lost
within us

I had to let that sink in
and find myself again
before everything me,
dissapeared

That is where I am now;
stepping away,
spontaneous, unexpectedly
finding myself

Who knows,
maybe I'll like what I find

~ Priya 🕉,  2/10/22