THE WONDERFULNESS OF YOU - You are so wonderful that I can't believe it. Your eyes are like huge ***** on a dinosaur glistening in the sun on a beach far away 3 days after Kwanzaa. Your nose reflects the glow of the moon like a garden tool manufacturer eating onions with his gay lover in Pittsburgh on the fourth of July. Your smile lights up the men's room as if your teeth and lips were made of large piles of cow manure evenly spread over the roof of a new Toyota Corolla.

It cannot be about me, when you wrote it about you, before I tossed
dainty cookies that were ***-baked by homosexy men as chicks lost

No ***** will get away with swipin' the underpants from our *****,
because we have 3-D T.V., anti-underpants-swiping, X-ray glasses!

( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ ) Religion is Man's attempt to explain the metaphysical world. "Atheism" is the elitists' religion designed to subjugate Man by denying his incomparable value. Elitism spawns Darwinism, infanticide, "terra"-forming, collectivism, State eugenics, fluoridated water, animal "rights,"  the E.R.A., the Z.P.G. movt., fiat money, land confiscation. Elitism = death to self-sovereignty, redress of grievances against the govt., free speech, gun & water rights. Atheism {sans quotes} is the religion of the animal world as animals don't contemplate the Heavens nor wage Earthen plane war.

I'm a fearful, gay ***** on Tylenol, ******* **** in a vinyl thong. My sis is a crone-trucking ****, welding skits skirted by night. She's the bridge 'twixt sane shade & sun bright; John Wayne & the Klondike. A rough expression of sanded surfaces surfaces sometimes among surfers.

I dry my ****** by holding them out the window of my car while I speed through school zones ~ Dry ****** are more important than the lives of a few dozen brats.

Slice off my lumps with lumpectomy as surgery's a draining feeling
till the lumps grow back after the lumpy period of cut-lump healing

GAY RACING RACE-CAR FAIRY HANDSOME HARRY GANT
DID MARRY A **** MERRIER THAN HAIRY CARY GRANT
Patient car-racer Harry Gant in his 2024 dream starring crapped-out
actor Cary Grant saw that 70 years ago Cary was 50 & 50 years ago
Cary was 70 & that racing cars in 3 feet of snow is like frozen-solid
Lake Michigan sub-zero underwater swimmin' with 2 dozen cousin
bow-legged **** women badly tangled in matted ****-fur trimmin.'

I'm here today & then I'm dead tomorrow, and the day after that too
'cause I'm paying myself back for the attention that I heaped on you
& my pet **** & dead Farrah Fawcett & the Liggett Vector Group,
under a leaky spigot, over the qualms of a black-chick-loving bigot,
in these desperate times when I must Mickey Mouse & ****** rig it
I'll sexually harass your *** till my tongue turns a pretty color Betty
'cause I'm tongue-tied & wet & more alive than ***-wipe Tom Petty
You kicked at my ****** & missed & you laughed like a loon until
I shoved a hand grenade up your **** & you blew up like a raccoon
There's no old legal precedent for you to sue because you knew and
I knew that you knew, 3 hours on ice would turn your pink *** blue

See 𝙉𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙀𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙏𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘽𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙡 𝙈𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨 starring Fred Bowel Movement as Max Shield, with Julian Lennon, Junior as Wick Henderson. Trouble is a 4-letter word for Max as he barely learns how to understand "a real woman" (played by Link O. Ventilator). "Do you know what it's like to love 3 men at a picnic after the baked beans are gone?" Miss V asks Max, who's practically dead by this time. "I loved the movie, especially the brief parts with Julian Lennon, Junior." - Coal Fixture (art critic)

I'll just quit, give up, resign or abdicate on chicks too dumb to learn
that milk cream dumped off cliffs ain't like cream in a butter churn.
Don't pour battery acid over my corn flakes please! I know that you
love me despite my house full of fleas & many bounced-check fees.
If I had a million-dollar yacht I just know that fellow million-dollar
yachtsmen would have more respect for me whilst I am temporarily
living for free, behind a Walmart dumpster near a dead walnut tree.
The crow was filthy, exhausted, covered in dirt & muddy grime but
that didn't stop him, after flying off, from ******* on me 1 last time
Hillary's a gay bull-****, every Afro-**** must know that Hillary's
after juicy, Afro-**** **** that is Afro-**** dark & Afro-**** low  
for a show that she produces for advocates of sound menstrual flow

Losing my only Siamese twin was bad because our gay mail man is
weird & dumb & plays a bad-*** harmonica through his spotty ***
I was drivin' hard the Hershey Highway's ol' dirt road when I found
that a rear-exit groove meant a ******, unexpected bowel movement

(1) Lock your doors when Bill Cosby's arrival is imminent.

(2) Have sharpened knives and loaded guns at-the-ready.

(3) Accept no drinks from Bill Cosby.

Alan Rickman's cadaver was flushed down a Texaco men's toilet at midnight 2 days after he crapped-out. Several hobos were there & 3
winos. “That is what he wanted,” his gay lover said tearfully before
throwing himself under a moving train in Africa to commit suicide.

SEVEN SURE SIGNS THAT YOUR LOVED ONE OR FAMILY MEMBER NEEDS SHIN-LENGTHENING BONE GRAFTS (1) short shins are apparent from 30 feet away (2) large bone splinters have poked through skin (3) shin conductivity is 4% (4) no one can pull shin bone free, even with twine (5) most piggish cops are masons and worship Lucifer (6) marital infidelity is rising especially in the trans-gay communes west of Toledo (7) cold winds chill shins and make them blue...

I hate domestic violence and foreign violence too, a lot! I hate everyone and everybody that is to say all people everywhere all the time including Christmas. [Aimée Eccles protects us from enslavement as she stands betwixt mayhem & madness. Take not crap from the manufacturers of Midol as they owe us menstruated restraints. Praise  Aimée Eccles!] If there's a village called Hawaii in Kenya then Barry Soetoro's fantasy has merit.

I must **** trees, miss fleas, kiss cheese & hiss bees like nervously-
nervous nut cases with a neurotic, nerve-racking, miss-ease disease
I will **** trees, miss fleas, hiss bees & kiss cheeses like nervously-
nervous nut jobs with neurotical, nerve-racking, miss-ease diseases
Halfway up from the bottom down, left of center, tilted backwards,
is the contorted stance that cripples contortionists lunging forwards

OVERCOMING HORRIFYING DISADVANTAGES is easy when you know more than Desiree Gruber knows about hatchet-making. Last year when I was unemployed, I met a **** woman who was jobless. She had beautiful ******* and dressed like the queen of England for some reason. We became close ****-buddies and enjoyed water sports, horseback riding and other ****-buddy activities. One day, while I was rubbing *** lotion on my ****, there was a horrifying explosion at the brain-transplant clinic across the street and everyone was killed. I ran over there to perform C.P.R. but it was too late for that so I went bowling at the new ***** bowling alley even though Negroes can't bowl or swim which is good because of the recent flooding that drowned dozens of bowlers and gay tap dancers. By putting that aside, I can move forward with normal life activities like reaming beavers and waxing carrots until I die or stop breathing long enough to be dead.

𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗻𝗼𝗻-𝗻𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝘀𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀
𝗮𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗻𝗼𝗻-𝗻𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗽𝗼𝗿 𝗜 𝗱𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗯𝗮𝗻𝗸𝗿𝘂𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀
𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝘀𝗵 𝗰𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗻𝗼 𝗳𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝘀 𝗮 𝗳𝗶𝘀𝗵'𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗴𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀

DO YOU WANT ME TO BURY YOUR DOG OR NOT? No. He's not dead. So what? He's not dead. Are you planning on living forever? Jesus said, 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘯'𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩. Jesus said that? Yes. He wants me to bury dogs to help people who are unempploed. What about jobless people? Shut up! No! You shut up! What's unempploed? It's when you don't have a job. No, it ain't. Of course it is. Use it in a sentence. Okay. 𝘔𝘺 𝘥𝘢𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘶𝘯𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘌𝘮𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘉𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨. It ain't spelled like that. It is where I come from. Okay. Where's that? Unempploed, Alaska. It's 45 miles from Ankorage. Ankorage? Yes. That's how it's spelled on the map.

I've not lived in the woods on chipmunks, obviously, as my belly is
too big to be Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania-chipmunk-flesh-eating big &
my hefty, half-ton ***** is pig-shaped like a 4-H prize-winning pig

From The Queer History of Portugal's Cowboy T.V. Shows, p. 452:
“The weirdest T.V. show was sponsored by the large Nash-Kelvinator
Corporation & it ran for 243 episodes with its star Ruck Gonner as the
Rifle Guy. No one watched it & it was canceled & Ruck became so
gay that he married Aaron Spelling & they had 9 ***** daughters.”

(1) Lack of gills. (2) Keeping sandwiches & toilet paper dry is impossible. (3) Water ruins electronic devices. (4) The average, moderately-priced ******* can only hold her breath underwater for 1 minute.

People believe (incredibly) that .50¢ is the same as 50¢ and will argue the point. Any number that's to the right of a decimal point is a fraction of a whole number. A dollar is $1.00 and half of a dollar is $.50 (also known as 50 cents) and a dollar and a half is $1.50 (also called a dollar-fifty). The novel .50¢ would be half of a cent (penny), while 50¢ is 50 pennies. I don't agree with the notion that public school teachers are underpaid.

Lesley Stahl on U.S. sanctions against Iraq:

"We have heard that a half million children have died. I mean, that's more children than died in Hiroshima. And, you know, is the price worth it?"

Secretary of State Madeleine Albright: "I think this is a very hard choice, but the price--we think the price is worth it."

— "60 Minutes" (5/12/96)

Teleprompter-reader Lesley Stahl on U.S. sanctions against Iraq:

"We have heard that a half million children have died. I mean, that's more children than died in Hiroshima. And, you know, is the price worth it?"

Secretary of State Madeleine Albright: "I think this is a very hard choice, but the price--we think the price is worth it."

— 60 Minutes (5/12/96)

Lesley Stahl on U.S. sanctions against Iraq: "We have heard that a half million children have died. I mean, that's more children than died in Hiroshima. And, you know, is the price worth it?"; Secretary of State Madeleine Albright: "I think this is a very hard choice, but the price -- we think the price is worth it." — 60 Minutes (5/12/96)

Teleprompter-reader Lesley Stahl on U.S. sanctions against Iraq: "We have heard that a half million children have died. I mean, that's more children than died in Hiroshima. And, you know, is the price worth it?"; Secretary of State Madeleine Albright: "I think this is a very hard choice, but the price--we think the price is worth it." — 60 Minutes (5/12/96)

Wilt Chamberlain died after ******* 20,000 women while he was 7
feet tall, ******* with 1 ball in the spring & the other ball in the fall
in the years when Michael Jackson's call boys were on 24-hour call,
back when twin pack was Tupac-***-act slang in a men's room stall

   “This .50 caliber rifle will get your stuck cat down!”
   “Are you going to shoot my cat?”
   “No, but I will shoot the branch that he's stuck on which
will allow him to fall 40 feet safely to the pavement.”

I cuff you in white sunshine as a pig on a crack-coke raid; like a ***
****** **** on antacid burning char-black ***** 50 grades of shade

I chew pig feet with gold-capped teeth & I don't take no ***** sass
Alpha & omega, first & last, give me welfare or I'll stomp your ***!
I'm cursed wit' spasmogenic tantrums that come upon me fast when
you chaw swollen donkey nuts with iron dentures like a whitey lass

Fox News
False **** Accusations May Be More Common Than Thought
Published May 02, 2006
...This claim comes from a study conducted by Eugene J. Kanin of Purdue University. Kanin examined 109 **** complaints registered in a Midwestern city from 1978 to 1987.

Of these, 45 were ultimately classified by the police as "false." Also based on police records, Kanin determined that 50 percent of the rapes reported at two major universities were "false."

Although Kanin offers solid research, I would need to see more studies with different populations before accepting the figure of 50 percent as prevalent; to me, the figure seems high.

But even a skeptic like me must credit a DNA exclusion rate of 20 percent that remained constant over several years when conducted by FBI labs. This is especially true when 20 percent more were found to be questionable.

False accusations are not rare. They are common.

Wendy McElroy is the editor of ifeminists.com and a research fellow for The Independent Institute in Oakland, Calif. She is the author and editor of many books and articles, including the new book, "Liberty for Women: Freedom and Feminism in the 21st Century" (Ivan R. Dee/Independent Institute, 2002). She lives with her husband in Canada.

Mammalian *** ain't so bad since sadomasochism's become the fad
with 50 shades of white-bread ******* that made Bruce an x-dad

My partents, I mean parents, are in their golden sunset years and dad ain't the spry young buck that he was 50 years ago, even mom noticed. "Your father is elderly," mom whispered to me as I fed her puréed tapioca with a snow shovel.

I STARED INTO HER EYES and saw Mormon confusion. She's turned into one, maybe just for fun. Her legs are still shapely even though she's 73. But I don't care about that because I can always have them yanked off and replaced with Indonesian ones.

America's tattooed youth, who were not whipped and caged and denied food as children, are taught by tax-funded schools that they're of a lesser value to mother Earth than animals—parasitically-weakened animals that eat fleas, excreta and their offspring, meet and greet by body odor and drink fetid water.

For the ancient predecessors of flying squirrels to attempt gliding, during the transitional millenniums that necessitate the formation of rudimentary webbing or wings, would be suicidal. Countless generations of squirrels with death wishes would be required as triggers for the millions of evolutive changes, of the childishly vague Darwinian/Sumerian/Lamarckian model, to be realized.

"There are 55-gallon drums all over the place filled with the 'euthanized' carcasses of formerly-healthy young dogs & cats because dog pounds, animal 'shelters' & 'humane' societies have no choice (NO CHOICE I TELL YOU!!!) but to 'euthanize' them! Please, please, please (OH, FOR THE SAKE OF OUR DEAR MERCIFUL JEHOVAH GOD IN HEAVEN, PLEASE!!!) donate money 'cause them drums ain't free!"