A year from here I hope to proclaim (after processing): “I knocked up my girlfriend. It was my happy obligement. I would've knocked you up too, but you're too self-involved.”

You beat me with a rusty crow bar
after running me over with your car
I sustained horrific injuries to my face
before you sprayed my eyes with mace

***-change surgery accommodates mental illness.

Wilt Chamberlain died after ******* 20,000 women while he was 7
feet tall, ******* with 1 ball in the spring & the other ball in the fall

ROGER CORMAN DODGED FOUR CORPSMEN centuries before emperor Julius Caesar rubbed his wife's **** with dog pus just to make her happy because in 1944 F.D.R. farted so violently that it shot him out of his wheel-chair and into the squirmy lap of Sammy Davis, Junior's aunt's former gynecologist. Did you not know that punching your neighbor's former gynecologist can make you very happy? If you suffer from diarrhea for 3 days, according to witches from Kentucky, you'll become totally deaf for 63 hours. A log that weighs 200 pounds is hard to lift by normal lesbians.

SLOWLY GAINING SANITY 1 **** AT A TIME! Heat-shrunk toe-cleaning brush with reversible skin skimmer for sale. Come while the savings are hot! Experience total intolerance at the French exhibit with real-live French women who are willing & able to do French stuff. Don't wait or hesitate! Enjoy 20%-off! Reel in the savings on fishing tackle. Heap piles of **** into a truck. Lean on a wooden fence for 2 hours without supervision. Do you like to bathe with men, especially gay ones? Let 45 ex-lesbians show you how it's done with no questions asked. Have you ever prayed to Jesus for 1,000 days in a row and still not gotten that new V.W.? Well pray no more! New Volkswagens are available now for 20%-off with no questions asked. But how is this possible?

Marxism has been thoroughly humiliated throughout the world, throughout the 20th century, yet it is religiously sermonized in the publicly-funded colleges of the United States; the same colleges that have unlimited resources to prove the righteousness of their property tax exempt statuses. Philosophy is no basis for scientific research. When science embraces philosophy we get religion.

I wait by the gate away from my dog dish & plate
It's the waiting I hate as you're always late

Fold in bent arms & dive headlong from cyclone-cracked pine trees
as my corn's in oleo & billboards are up & the ***** is here to seize

I say, ***-*** with the prime minister of Norway made Al Gore gay
& I relay that Al F. Gore lives for tragedy to be of an off-world way
on a suspiciously-flat Kansas, 22 hours from my **** Manila Pinay
who never provokes & provocates in ways that shock & horrify me
as she's an ocean away, skirtin' the specifically-pacifical Pacific Sea

Chemicalized grin, shut up ***** while I shove it back in. 6-30-16 {...open with welcomed arms...}: I became more stupid without assistance. After each shave I slipped my pantyhose on with ease. Stubble could shred my hosiery if I weren't careful, costing me money. I couldn't play God anymore and my pastor knew it.

I must **** trees, miss fleas, kiss cheese & hiss bees like nervously-
nervous nut cases with a neurotic, nerve-racking, miss-ease disease
I will **** trees, miss fleas, hiss bees & kiss cheeses like nervously-
nervous nut jobs with neurotical, nerve-racking, miss-ease diseases
Half-way up from the bottom down, left of center, tilted backwards,
is the contorted stance that cripples contortionists lunging forwards
Charles Puffy's jumbled diphtherial litter & rot got him caught cold
& brought to higher authorities who knew old Puffy needn't be shot
I must **** freeze, miss fleas, kiss pleas & sis knees like nervously-
nervous **** aces with a neurotic, verve-backing, mist-fees disease
in prison abuse programs for los Indios maricones of British Belize
where we choke Chinese grocers often for greenish imports of peas
from divine Cathay where Falun Gong worship's a Maoistical tease
for the likes of Planters honey peanut butter franchisee John Cleese
who unites skin-sloughing French sheep with shepherds who fleece
along knee, shoulder & pelvic joints & where pink **** ***** crease
which is alright with ****-flap pervert, the flitty queer Edwin Meese
who seeks gay normality & normal gayety with 32 gym locker keys
that unlock a twilit exo-scientometrical face that God frozenly frees
under the gun like a he/she; as known by goys blown in shot breeze
through statues soiled by pigeons above ½ moon toenails of tweeze
long after the decapitation of 91-year-old screen writer Robert Lees
whose bid to keep head & torso as 1 died like Yukio's Shogun pleas
whose fight to keep his head & frame attached died in ½-assed seas
just like ****** Bruce Jenner showing he's a she by varying degrees
that has his ill family of mule-******* climbing like chimps up trees
that has his donkey-******' family climbin' like apes up jungle trees
where syndicated-business-share-differentials run like a viral sneeze
brought on anaphylactically from the sting of gay Cuban killer bees

MARGE is a big lesbian with a heart of gold who warned Clara 23 minutes before it was too late: "You'll never out-run a wild hill-bear in that flimsy wheel-chair!" But Clara wouldn't listen because she had a big bug up her bony **** or something I guess. "The next lesbian who tells me that she can out-run a bear will find my hairy foot six inches up her ******!" Marge exclaimed with big-hearted tears in her eyes.

Up the ladder with you because you've been on the floor too long
Put yourself together right, as you've been forever doing it wrong
I need total, absolute assurance that you will not run away again
so I've contacted your ***** boss, that ****** **** you call "Ken,"**
as he knows the haunts & the dives and gutters where you've been

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm Waiting for My Man"
The Velvet Underground
I'm waiting for my man
Twenty-six dollars in my hand
Up to Lexington, one, two, five
Feel sick and *****, more dead than alive
I'm waiting for my man
Hey, white boy, what you doin' uptown?
Hey, white boy, you chasin' our women around?
Oh pardon me sir, it's the furthest from my mind
I'm just lookin' for a dear, dear friend of mine
I'm waiting for my man
Here he comes, he's all dressed in black
Beat up shoes and a big straw hat
He's never early, he's always late
First thing you learn is that you always gotta wait
I'm waiting for my man, ah work it now
Up to a brownstone, up three flights of stairs
Everybody's pinned you, but nobody cares
He's got the works, gives you sweet taste
Ah then you gotta split because you got no time to waste
I'm waiting for my man
Baby don't you holler, darlin' don't you bawl and shout
I'm feeling good, you know I'm gonna work it on out
I'm feeling good, I feel oh so fine
Until tomorrow, but that's just some other time
I'm waiting for my man, walk it home

The Lesbian Toe-Feeler...It's been a normal day. Thanks for letting me feel your lesbianism. You felt my toe, my fourth toe. I know, but I could see how it sparked your lesbian curiosity. No it didn't. Shall I touch your other toes? Okay.

The Active Lesbian ...Are you an active lesbian? Yes, I belong to 28 lesbian organizations. So do I. Then you're a lesbian like me? No, I'm not a lesbian. You're not a lesbian? I'm not. Then why are you a member of 28 lesbian organizations? I don't know.

Kiss me like you did forever when you were romantic often with an
undertaker at a Boston funeral parlor who laid you in a wood coffin
From what I detect, regardin' the unfaithful nature of folks living in
Malaysia: cheating's common among adulterous Malaysians, whilst
Indonesians & Micronesians treat all *****-**** ***** with respect
by wearin' prophylactical **** covers to not catch V.D.'s that infect

Number one {the traditional}: Face-to-face conversation.

Number two: ***-to-face conversation.

To be small where it counts & big where it matters, that's the ticket because millions of Mexicans are on their way here now! Welcome to the United States, Mexicans! In the U.S. we speak the English language! Our beaches are loaded with oiled white people in ****** striving to become dark people.  -- The Man with Two Eyes p. 12

Listen silent cinema ice man, my 2 glass eyes are cold microscopes
with manual hands that brush across the shady contours of your gay
black broads's ****-front parts with the indirected aim of lawn jarts
that I queerly lob at my axle-grease-needin' Walmart shopping carts
My horrifying memories of you crash like 39 trillion shopping carts
into Lake Erie on a Thursday night during Black Lives Matter night
I drink & drive responsibly so that those I crash into will stay alive,
and I don't do naked modeling much anymore, not since I turned 95
Your French doors are bunged by bunkies and the oily space below
your drip tray makes me abandon regulated marriage very suddenly
too with no tickee, no fucky, no plucky ***-jab, no lucky rose tattoo
She's hot enough to melt dry tampons & I knew that she liked ****-muffin' dark muffin, so I reamed her out with thrill-hammer stuffin'
I gobbled your cookies while you added inches to my wiener which
protruded beyond my pregnant bump to make me look much leaner
like a Mexican scarfin' kidney beans to make his *******-id keener
or to show his legitimacy as a greasy-haired ****** passing as a big
****** thrill-boy looking for a white woman to be his house cleaner

“You have 2 hobbies: lesbianism & photography.
My late neighbor had a short-wave radio.”
   “Was he content?”
   “Radio-wise, yes. Lesbian-wise, yes—I mean NO!”
   “It won't be the same without you, you lesbian you!”
   “I know. You'll miss the lesbianasm, I meant ism.”
   “I shall miss the asm equally.”

EATING PEOPLE WHO OPPOSE CANNIBALISM - John Lennon represented youth, muscular youth, the kind of youth that could **** a person. Yes, yes. But what about unemployment? And joblessness? I agree. These are 2 horrifying dilemmas, but we shouldn't let our swollen ***** stop us. Well, mine does. I can barely get off the toilet from a seated position. Me too. The other day I was stuck for 2 weeks and I nearly died. If a neighbor woman hadn't stolen my wallet, I'd be unemployed right now. Yes, me too.

EATING PEOPLE WHO OPPOSE CANNIBALISM - John Lennon represented youth, muscular youth, the kind of youth that could **** a person. Yes, yes. But what about unemployment? And joblessness? I agree. These are 2 horrifying dilemmas, but we shouldn't let our swollen ***** stop us. Well, mine does. I can barely get off the toilet from a seated position. Me too. The other day I was stuck for 2 weeks and I nearly died. If a neighbor woman hadn't stolen my wallet, I'd be unemployed right now. Yes, me too.

My abusive alcoholic father slapped my mother's sister so hard that a neighbor 2 houses south fell into the toilet and broke his shoulder because he was a ****** who made the mistake of using a normal toilet for proper-height people instead of one made by the National ****** Toilet Manufacturers of Canada.

It's a retreat of raw meat when I'm quick on my feet like Pecos Pete
whose staph stang shells struck in sails shorn by sheep as they bleat
that ***-change surgery ups ***-craziness in the gender-incomplete
from the wilds of London to the green, Greekish island called Crete
where icy slime & hot wax oozes from skanks like hard-won deceit

THE HORROR OF NORAH - Norah was an ex-lesbian and descendant of Noah from the Bible. She proved this by building a boat in her bath tub. For 40 days her shower ran all day till a bird appeared as a sign that dry land was nearby. She carefully waded ashore, confident that God would provide for her even though she didn't have a college degree or anything.

IN 1827 laundresses would toss wet garments into the street for trucks to run over. It was the fastest way to launder tuxedos and bikinis (which were just 2 rags sewn together).

OH LORD! Weather!!! Run for your life because the naked nudist had no clothes to clothe nine fingers and seven toes.

COLDER THAN A MOON THAT NO MAN LANDS ON - I hate "replacement neighbors" but not as much as the neighbors they replaced. 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐎𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐚 𝐏𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐧 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐭𝐚 𝐢𝐧 𝑮𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒄𝒆. 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐬𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝-𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐨. A day after the cows ran away, we ate their hay. After the shop burned to the ground, the owner could not be found. He's in hell now sharpening pencils, putting ointment on his *** and cutting out stencils.

(1) People will believe that you're rich. (2) Women will be attracted to you like they were attracted to that guy, in that movie, who ****-****** his shady girlfriend 50 times.

I DREAMED THAT I LIVED IN AN APARTMENT HIGH ABOVE LAKE MICHIGAN and each morning I'd look out my big window and see nothing but Lake Michigan. The lake filled my window. One morning though this wasn't the case. It was Tuesday and I was working the second shift in homicide division. Anyway, I rose from bed and looked out the window and JESUS!!! Lake Michigan was gone!!! I asked my neighbors about it and they didn't know what happened, some of them hadn't even heard of Lake Michigan. I was very confused and baffled and puzzled and 300 other words that mean the same thing.

My debt bubble has been de-leveraged & I'll fight with guns plastic
'cause in my life defensive maneuvers have been necessarily drastic
when my crooked, fist-fightin' limbs distend Michael J. Fox spastic
Hurry pops the time for peace has degraded into a campaign drastic
as it's off to Wales where Woody, Keef & Charlie have gassed ****
like Churchill planned for Bonn as he thunk toxic gas was fantastic
& normal like switching toothpaste with a gummy resin tree mastic
that's tacky enough to entrap a brown flea but not a ******, fast tick
on Hillary Clinton's saddle-sore ***'s ****-itchy crack iconoclastic
that forces epidemical ****-casting directresses to brutally cast sick
& crippled X-muffers in dramas that are heterophobic & bombastic
& contra-contrary to the T.N.T. needed to nucleate *** & blast hick
to decree '64 as bein' the year of producer Loke Wan Tho's last flick

☕ ☕ ☕ ☕ ☕

I enjoyed 31 bowel movements in January, not countin' diarrhea, &
I spoke with a billion greasers, 8 thousand of them from Costa Rica

I remember when reliable prostitutes were 3 for a buck or 1 for 35¢
but that was in April '95 before we elected vice prez Michael Pence

After 5 weeks of pig-butchering without a day off all I want is 32½ hours of sleep 91½% big Pygmy-free 'cause I don't want to sleep with little Pygmies “a little bit” and I don't want gerbils “tunneling to Egypt” through my ½-shaved ****** for 9 snow-bound weeks in a row either!

In the green pasture I couldn't stop doing healthful deep-knee bends
with cyanical-blue deep sea friends or uric-yellow sheep *** friends
who'll attend 6 ewe-cross-human *** fairs pushing 32 ******* trends
“There's something hateful about you,” the proctologist said. “But I
just can't lay a finger on it with the pig blood you've bloodily bled.”
“There are 15 traits swinish about you,” the **** doctor said. “But I
can't put a finger on 1 with the piggish blood you've bloodily bled.”
F-off worthless U.N. eaters! My fat hogs-to-market are muddily fed
before blowin' their brains out rendering 'em big time groggily dead
& chilled to be, after purgatory, down the primrose path foggily led
as saturated dirges, under bridges where bums ****, are soggily read
to mug inquisitive ***** lion-tamers of Afrocentrical inventiveness
without deying the endless toil of food-stamp-getting relentlessness
Weird is wired to borrowed dots once dotters abandon plotted plots
for the ******-bad equity of besotted day bed county jail-issued cots

I lurch like 34 ****** toward chastity below a queer Boston church
as I'm so unarmed to the max in paralyzing fear of a lost-gun search

I remember when reliable prostitutes were 3 for a buck or 1 for 35¢
but that was in April '95 before we elected vice prez Michael Pence

SPEND A **** NIGHT WITH A **** MAN (or his brother) for $45. Don't worry or hurry because this **** man has all the time in the world because he's a zombie. OH NO! Help! I'm spending the night with a zombie! Am I going to die or what?! Look! Over there! It's Bill Wyman! I thought he was dead but he's not. How do you like that?

Listen silent cinema ice man, my 2 glass eyes are cold microscopes
with manual hands that brush across the shady contours of your gay
black broads's ****-front parts with the indirected aim of lawn jarts
that I queerly lob at my axle-grease-needin' Walmart shopping carts
My horrifying memories of you crash like 39 trillion shopping carts
into Lake Erie on a Thursday night during Black Lives Matter night
I drink & drive responsibly so that those I crash into will stay alive,
and I don't do naked modeling much anymore, not since I turned 95
Your French doors are bunged by bunkies and the oily space below
your drip tray makes me abandon regulated marriage very suddenly
too with no tickee, no fucky, no plucky ***-jab, no lucky rose tattoo
She's hot enough to melt dry tampons & I knew that she liked ****-muffin' dark muffin, so I reamed her out with thrill-hammer stuffin'
I gobbled your cookies while you added inches to my wiener which
protruded beyond my pregnant bump to make me look much leaner
like a Mexican scarfin' kidney beans to make his *******-id keener
or to show his legitimacy as a greasy-haired ****** passing as a big
****** thrill-boy looking for a white woman to be his house cleaner

THE WONDERFULNESS OF YOU - You are so wonderful that I can't believe it. Your eyes are like huge ***** on a dinosaur glistening in the sun on a beach far away 3 days after Kwanzaa. Your nose reflects the glow of the moon like a garden tool manufacturer eating onions with his gay lover in Pittsburgh on the fourth of July. Your smile lights up the men's room as if your teeth and lips were made of large piles of cow manure evenly spread over the roof of a new Toyota Corolla.