Touch me like you mean it with your love-stick
in the dark at the amusement park
Swing my door like my hinges aren't rusted
while you lift your leg with 1 knee cap busted
Don't kiss me in front of my favorite chicken today
because I'm not feeling kissable in a romantical way

Suckin' *** with Salem's Witch-Beaters (who're *****, picky eaters)
When it rains on witches my **** twitches like 15 nerves in stitches
When I beat raw  **** meat, dead on 2 feet, I'm mindful not to cheat

Long-Dead **** Architect Bruno Leon's Cold Christened Christus
[**** are victims of inappropriate work behavior in ****** places.]
******* is corrupting, enzymical and in other ways.

The Raging African-American in All Men...Duwayne sat on a big mountain that overlooked his crib. His biotch was naked and dead. His homies were in jail. Duwayne had money that he had taken from his A.I.D.S.-infected mama's purse. Yesterday a baby squirrel fell from a tree. Duwayne ate it and then stole a car.

Anyhow, NO CHICK can stay angry with me because I'm more accommodatingly-docile than an unarmed *** maiden addicted to synthetical Lithium complex.  
   It was a friendly day today because Saipan wasn't under a typhoon watch. Wake up American Australians to enjoy a hearty breakfast that features pork products! A vegetarian, who wants to make it to 100, must supplement with desiccated liver pills as ***** meat is nutrient dense. Why is the Earth an immovable plane? Why is the moon semi-transparent? I'm endeavoring to spread good cheer cheerfully (light v. heavy, sciatica v. lumbago).

Puppies bounce on concrete surfaces because of their fuzzy fluffiness. They're much softer than horses, pups are, and easier to pasteurize. It rains a lot in Oregon. It rains a lot on Oregon, too. Oregonians groan too much from prickly heat that compounds the miserable V.D. that they implement to destroy the wholesome reputation, & crotch-cricket ****** vitality, of ultra-flitty Washingtonian lushes.

Before dogs there were only cats so people had to surgically make dogs out of cats. It was cruel and pointless. "Be patient," an old man told everyone in Honolulu, "because one day you'll see natural dogs coming at you from all directions." Of course this only scared a lot of people so they chopped his ******* off with a hatchet.

Any amputee'll tell you that a ****'s better than a lump, but there's
nothing nicer than a *** nurse rubbin' stump-lotion into your stump

President Trump consistently does not wear wide leather neck ties with hand-painted Balinese dancers on them. What are President Trump's grievances with leather tanners & wide tie neck manufacturers & when is he going to bomb Bali?

A citizen can't *** (or micturate ) his way to the top (or apex), nor **** his way up (north) from the bottom (south) without making a mess. When your restaurant turns Mexican (or greaser) don't blame the Italians (or guineas, or greasers) as their bend (or perspicuity) is sound hedging what doesn't entail (or necessitate) curtailing the issuance of fiat (or devoid of intrinsic value) currency in crusades (or campaigns) financial (or economical).

A 15,000-year-old Kmart has been found under Walmart! It was a big surprise to Walmart's assistant garden department manager when he was taking a *** behind the dumpster and found portions of an ancient Kmart receipt poking up through the weeds. "I was just bleeding my lizard and all of a sudden I see a piece of paper from Kmart that was dated June 6 fifteen thousand years ago! I called my boyfriend over, who's a homosexual, and he verified what I just said and then we made passionate love in a greasy puddle for 10 minutes."

The waitress said: “I saw hundreds of colorized depictions of blood-poisoned feet when I was studying gangreneous conditions common to the tropics. But I'm older now, so I can't spend as much time on it.”
   “Yes,” I said. “How many eggs can I get for 14 dollars?”

My right eye's the green of green mold in the textural Textron mold
that was chosen by me to warp whorish women who ***** for free

In his words:  "...gays and lesbians should be put in/
under/behind electrified fences until they die out..."
  https://youtu.be/JQHmhVO9JLU

In his words:  "...gays and lesbians should be put in/under/behind electrified fences until they die out..."

in this picture visiting the Taj Mahal which is currently in India with my uncle who lives in India with his wife Naja. One day they will move away from India to be near the great Taj Mahal wherever the government moves it. I'm looking forward to renting a free room in the Taj Mahal to raise 7 orphans who have only a few parents. My grandfather was forced to **** 6 Germans while walking down the street because it was World War 2. My other grandfather was a ****** with long red hair that flowed down his neck like tree sap. His wife was a ****** too who ate 3 meals each day with Harry Truman's cousin: Clyde Truman, a man of the people.

David Bowie pushed us in the here & now, as neither fish nor fowl,
plowed under, Bowie was, as grey ash by a double moldboard plow
These gaps in our noses make it easy for the hard insertion of hoses
just like Jesus must have done when everyone was staring at Moses
I'm going out there, & a little over here, where I might be with Yids
& Turkical **** before cuttin' them down to where their Jew toes is
composed in vinegared Rhine brine from a spinal-fluid-heavy spine
I'm boating out there & a wee bit over here, where I'll be alone with
a 1,000 **** ******' gay, after tonsillectomies, on Pearl Harbor Day

These gaps in our noses make it easy for the hard insertion of hoses
just like Jesus must have done when everyone was staring at Moses

“What are you doing with him?”
“Taking it easy, just poping around.”

“What are you doing with him?”
“Taking it easy, just poping around.”

"she gave me a lung"? Did you mean instead, "she gave me a hug"?
or "she gave me a bug"? or "she inserted gerbils up my hole ****"?
or, "the commissioner is climbing up my *** like he's doing Connie
Chung"? or, "don't fling **** as on the way up is the price of dung"?
Goop fell upside left from a drip-blackened rafter, for the bat-guano
-collectin' *** wiper, it was the bat-****-excrement-crap he was after
as its pissy psychotrophical/psychotropical/******-active properties
hypnotize a crazed-bat-******-sniffing-Obama-****-bussing grafter
whose 2017 **** movies made him, in comparison to flit Heinie &
**** Chester Conklin, sixty times Uncle Miltie's length, more dafter
than the 1902 Germanical germination of Jerry Boer war 2 laughter

Audrey's lips wrapped around his teeth like a wrist watch. Toby could feel her savage love so much. Audrey pulled her thighs into the naked hollows of his underarms. If this wasn't love he couldn't tell. How long they had wondered what closeness felt like. Audrey had to say: "My lover, I need to know the sexiness of your intimacy a lot." Toby answered, "Me too." That day Audrey became impregnated big time. Would anyone notice in 8 months? Toby might, especially if he ran into Audrey's pregnancy doctor.
   Audrey's uncle was visiting from New Mexico for a month. He was a kindly man whom Audrey liked. No monkey business with uncle Chuck. He was 100% normal. That's for sure. One morning when Audrey was rinsing her ****** uncle Chuck entered the kitchen. "What's up Audrey?" Chuck asked.
   "Just washin' my *******."
   "Big night?"
   "No, Uncle, just routine laundering."
   Their back-and-forth banter was casual.
   "Today, I've got 3 appointments," Chuck mused.
   "Hand to me my Kunta Kinte commemorative *****,"
Audrey instructed casually enough.
   "This one?" Chuck asked.
   "Yes, thanks," Audrey said as she relaxed her **** muscles.
   "Good-bye," Chuck said 30 seconds before he left.
   "Good-bye," Audrey replied 7 seconds before he left.

Chapter 2, Toby's gay link to the Mafia was about to be revealed. Toby wasn't gay, not even a little bit. He loved women a lot. Once when a gay man asked Toby to marry him, Toby didn't hesitate to say NO! and the gay man knew it. Deep respect warmed the gay community as word spread quickly. So when anyone says that Toby's gay ties to the Sicilian Cosa Nostra Mafia were homosexual they're wrong, Mafia-gabage-dumpster-dead-wrong!

Chapter 3, Uncle Chuck's hidden secret wasn't that he was normal, 100% so and everyone knew it. But uncle Chuck had a hidden secret that Audrey must not find out about or her life would be irreversibly changed and it could never be changed back again.

Chapter 4, Audrey took L.S.D. and had an awful flashback to 1999 about illegal drug use. She had been shacking up with a man who respected women a lot. He saw that she was L.S.D.-free and self-lessly offered to her L.S.D. for free. She accepted it and immediately felt that life was enhanced by Hospice care in the long run.

Chapter 5, "His lard *** brought him down. He fell to the floor, not to the ground" was what uncle Chucky wanted on his tombstone that marked the muddy grave where he would be buried dead. It didn't matter, the seepage. Lee Oswald was corrupted by it and no comrade cried for months because he was a stinking, cruddy, raunchy, Marxist, Leninist, ****** red ***** Russian spy.

Audrey's lips wrapped around his teeth like a wrist watch. Toby could feel her savage love so much. Audrey pulled her thighs into the naked hollows of his underarms. If this wasn't love he couldn't tell. How long they had wondered what closeness felt like. Audrey had to say: "My lover, I need to know the sexiness of your intimacy a lot." Toby answered, "Me too." That day Audrey became impregnated big time. Would anyone notice in 8 months? Toby might, especially if he ran into Audrey's pregnancy doctor.
   Audrey's uncle was visiting from New Mexico for a month. He was a kindly man whom Audrey liked. No monkey business with uncle Chuck. He was 100% normal. That's for sure. One morning when Audrey was rinsing her ****** uncle Chuck entered the kitchen. "What's up Audrey?" Chuck asked.
   "Just washin' my *******."
   "Big night?"
   "No, Uncle, just routine laundering."
   Their back-and-forth banter was casual.
   "Today, I've got 3 appointments," Chuck mused.
   "Hand to me my Kunta Kinte commemorative *****,"
Audrey instructed casually enough.
   "This one?" Chuck asked.
   "Yes, thanks," Audrey said as she relaxed her **** muscles.
   "Good-bye," Chuck said 30 seconds before he left.
   "Good-bye," Audrey replied 7 seconds before he left.

Chapter 2, Toby's gay link to the Mafia was about to be revealed. Toby wasn't gay, not even a little bit. He loved women a lot. Once when a gay man asked Toby to marry him, Toby didn't hesitate to say NO! and the gay man knew it. Deep respect warmed the gay community as word spread quickly. So when anyone says that Toby's gay ties to the Sicilian Cosa Nostra Mafia were homosexual they're wrong, Mafia-garbage-dumpster-dead-wrong!

Chapter 3, Uncle Chuck's hidden secret wasn't that he was normal, 100% so and everyone knew it. But uncle Chuck had a hidden secret that Audrey must not find out about or her life would be irreversibly changed and it could never be changed back again.

Chapter 4, Audrey took L.S.D. and had an awful flashback to 1999 about illegal drug use. She had been shacking up with a man who respected women a lot. He saw that she was L.S.D.-free and selflessly offered to her L.S.D. for free. She accepted it and immediately felt that life was enhanced by Hospice care in the long run.

Chapter 5, "His lard *** brought him down. He fell to the floor, not to the ground" was what uncle Chucky wanted on his tombstone that marked the muddy grave where he would be buried dead. It didn't matter, the seepage. Lee Oswald was corrupted by it and no comrade cried for months because he was a stinking, cruddy, raunchy, Marxist, Leninist, ****** red ***** Russian spy.

Audrey's lips wrapped around his teeth like a wrist watch. Toby could feel her savage love so much. Audrey pulled her thighs into the naked hollows of his underarms. If this wasn't love he couldn't tell. How long they had wondered what closeness felt like. Audrey had to say: "My lover, I need to know the sexiness of your intimacy a lot." Toby answered, "Me too." That day Audrey became impregnated big time. Would anyone notice in 8 months? Toby might, especially if he ran into Audrey's pregnancy doctor.
   Audrey's uncle was visiting from New Mexico for a month. He was a kindly man whom Audrey liked. No monkey business with uncle Chuck. He was 100% normal. That's for sure. One morning when Audrey was rinsing her ****** uncle Chuck entered the kitchen. "What's up Audrey?" Chuck asked.
   "Just washin' my *******."
   "Big night?"
   "No, Uncle, just routine laundering."
   Their back-and-forth banter was casual.
   "Today, I've got 3 appointments," Chuck mused.
   "Hand to me my Kunta Kinte commemorative *****,"
Audrey instructed casually enough.
   "This one?" Chuck asked.
   "Yes, thanks," Audrey said as she relaxed her **** muscles.
   "Good-bye," Chuck said 30 seconds before he left.
   "Good-bye," Audrey replied 7 seconds before he left.

Chapter 2, Toby's gay link to the Mafia was about to be revealed. Toby wasn't gay, not even a little bit. He loved women a lot. Once when a gay man asked Toby to marry him, Toby didn't hesitate to say NO! and the gay man knew it. Deep respect warmed the gay community as word spread quickly. So when anyone says that Toby's gay ties to the Sicilian Cosa Nostra Mafia were homosexual they're wrong, Mafia-garbage-dumpster-dead-wrong!

Chapter 3, Uncle Chuck's hidden secret wasn't that he was normal, 100% so and everyone knew it. But uncle Chuck had a hidden secret that Audrey must not find out about or her life would be irreversibly changed and it could never be changed back again.

Chapter 4, Audrey took L.S.D. and had an awful flashback to 1999 about illegal drug use. She had been shacking up with a man who respected women a lot. He saw that she was L.S.D.-free and selflessly offered to her L.S.D. for free. She accepted it and immediately felt that life was enhanced by Hospice care in the long run.

Chapter 5, "His lard *** brought him down. He fell to the floor, not to the ground" was what uncle Chucky wanted on his tombstone that marked the muddy grave where he would be buried dead. It didn't matter, the seepage. Lee Oswald was corrupted by it and no comrade cried for months because he was a stinking, cruddy, raunchy, Marxist, Leninist, ****** red ***** Russian spy.

Audrey's lips wrapped around his teeth like a wrist watch. Toby could feel her savage love so much. Audrey pulled her thighs into the naked hollows of his underarms. If this wasn't love he couldn't tell. How long they had wondered what closeness felt like. Audrey had to say: "My lover, I need to know the sexiness of your intimacy a lot." Toby answered, "Me too." That day Audrey became impregnated big time. Would anyone notice in 8 months? Toby might, especially if he ran into Audrey's pregnancy doctor.
   Audrey's uncle was visiting from New Mexico for a month. He was a kindly man whom Audrey liked. No monkey business with uncle Chuck. He was 100% normal. That's for sure. One morning when Audrey was rinsing her ****** uncle Chuck entered the kitchen. "What's up Audrey?" Chuck asked.
   "Just washin' my *******."
   "Big night?"
   "No, Uncle, just routine laundering."
   Their back-and-forth banter was casual.
   "Today, I've got 3 appointments," Chuck mused.
   "Hand to me my Kunta Kinte commemorative *****,"
Audrey instructed casually enough.
   "This one?" Chuck asked.
   "Yes, thanks," Audrey said as she relaxed her **** muscles.
   "Good-bye," Chuck said 30 seconds before he left.
   "Good-bye," Audrey replied 7 seconds before he left.

Chapter 2, Toby's gay link to the Mafia was about to be revealed. Toby wasn't gay, not even a little bit. He loved women a lot. Once when a gay man asked Toby to marry him, Toby didn't hesitate to say NO! and the gay man knew it. Deep respect warmed the gay community as word spread quickly. So when anyone says that Toby's gay ties to the Sicilian Cosa Nostra Mafia were homosexual they're wrong, Mafia-garbage-dumpster-dead-wrong!

Chapter 3, Uncle Chuck's hidden secret wasn't that he was normal, 100% so and everyone knew it. But uncle Chuck had a hidden secret that Audrey must not find out about or her life would be ir-reversibly changed and it could never be changed back again.

Chapter 4, Audrey took L.S.D. and had an awful flashback to 1999 about illegal drug use. She had been shacking up with a man who respected women a lot. He saw that she was L.S.D.-free and selflessly offered to her L.S.D. for free. She accepted it and immediately felt that life was enhanced by Hospice care in the long run.

Chapter 5, "His lard *** brought him down. He fell to the floor, not to the ground" was what uncle Chucky wanted on his tombstone that marked the muddy grave where he would be buried dead. It didn't matter, the seepage. Lee Oswald was corrupted by it and no comrade cried for months because he was a stinking, cruddy, raunchy, Marxist, Leninist, ****** red ***** Russian spy.

Hi every ******, my ***-exclusion ray makes my *** feel left out of the decision-making process. If not for these rubberized condoms,
my fingers would be unable to provide adequate manual servicing.

▩ ▩ ▩ ▩ Fun like a nose ring or fun like a wrist watch?

Marriage = ****** *******, introduction of ***** into the ****** by which the marriage of genetic material forms a new Being; from which Humanity increases in number; by which the our species is propagated; by which genetic traits are forwarded. Marriage can only be based on this reality. A man (post-pubescent male) penetrates a woman's birth canal (post-pubescent female) w/his ***** ***** to deposit ejaculant (his 23 chromosomes that marry/meld with her 23 chromosomes) to produce a child.

And the obnoxious people who claim relevance just because you married into their hillbilly clan...And day in/day out you breathe & eat rice & put shoes on & laugh out loud & then you stop because your refrigerator stopped and the green foods are turning gray and the orange juice is acting like apple juice...It was dark and the shadows played against me. I'm fully 6 inches. Ask the head waitress at Denny's. Why won't she love me?

And the obnoxious people who claim relevance just because you married into their hillbilly clan...And day in/day out you breathe & eat rice & put shoes on & laugh out loud & then you stop because your refrigerator stopped and the green foods are turning gray and the orange juice is acting like apple juice...It was dark and the shadows played against me. I'm fully 6 inches. Ask the head waitress at Denny's. Why won't she love me? Is she afraid of my old ******? My hep. C? My V.D.?

Our ****** love will not be the subject of gossip. Toby held his thrill-hammer while Monica applied the petroleum jelly. “That feels better Monica. I have the hot water and rags.”

What's your color, pig **** Edward Teller? I am albino transluscent
in Rickover's attic & black as an opal in my big French wine cellar.

Painful suicide in my immediate future gives me a newly-found joy
to realize that I am done with pizza cheese made of soybean-oil soy

There was a futility to it all. Aunt Jemima was shapely & full of imitation maple syrup and I loved her for it. She sweetened my pancakes. She bled from the head, making me not glad she's dead. My pancakes are embedded with blue-berried dots and nobody gives a harlot's-hello. I love you Aunt Jemima, this I know, from your non-reproductive *** glands to your classy, glassy nose.

to replenish your diet with meat is to lay bricks, 2 feet high, in a circle. On the far end balance a sheet pan to place the bait: potato peels, cigarette butts, glass shards, shoe laces. When an animal approaches throw gasoline on him. The meat from a neighbor's big dog is enough for 6 meals: breakfast & lunch for 3 people.

On the far end balance a sheet pan to place the bait: potato peels, cigarette butts, glass shards, shoe laces. When an animal approaches throw gasoline on him. The meat from a neighbor's big dog is enough for 6 meals: breakfast & lunch for 3 people.

You took my beating heart and put it under an elephant to sit on. You hurt me when you did that by making my heart ache worse. And then, like you thought I wouldn't hear you, you said stuff that was unkind about my gender fluidity that made my heart race. Well, it would've raced if it weren't smashed under an elephant's ****.

Shut up or I'll drive a truck up your ***! A more-detailed, impossible threat: Shut up or I'll drive a Mexican truck up your ***!

I've been negligent in appending my signature "or else!" codicil. Aussie women are saucy & sassy, Singaporeans tell me. Even at the dinner table. When to a **** Aussie, motor-boating babe you say: "Pass the quokka gravy pretty Baby," nothing happens unless you bellow (with a persuasive, gravely-grave, gravely groan): "Pass the quokka gravy pretty Baby, or else!" Keep 'em guessing, or else! I'm not the idiot from Florida you ordered in the first place. I'm not the only idiot desde la Florida either. When I'm not drinking orange juice with my parole officer, I'm on the beach scarfing tarpon beneath a royal palm tree. When we meet (bear with me, or else!) I immediately get to see your most important physical attribute, one in which you'll never see, no matter how long you live. That's pretty good. With a little practice you'll be as good as me, or else! But I'm not ready to die, Hospice nurse! I knew it!!!

Wear a bra for support, ******. Bring garbage to me. I'm in the woods so you know I'll eat it. The bottom ½ of me loves you. White people are nice even when they got lice. Now, let's not delve into mental issues, unless you want to. Truly, don't take joy in "feeling the burn" nor live by the adage, "no pain, no gain." Pain is the body's response to trauma. Don't listen to idiots & dumb ***** who plead with you to join them in dangerous activities. Protect yourself. Protect the flesh & blood shell/cell that houses your eternal soul. Stay away from tattooists & the hepatitis that they gleefully spread. I've reached out to you before only to be snapped at. You have a chip on your shoulder. It's your chipped shoulder, not mine. I'm a generous person with my time & knowledge. I could help you if not for your foolish pride. They're so helpfully friendly & giving & at ease, them honkies that gives you their homosexy venereal disease. Indeed, though our vaginas are wet with anticipation we conserve our paper towels for wiping up after puppies. Worry not my little monkey. Amen.

It's Tampa not ******, you Hillary-******' witch, it's Pensacola not
Pepsi Cola & it's ****-hole Ormond Beach not ***** manned *****!
It's ****-hole Ormond Beach not *****-manned *****, it's Pensacola
not Pepsi Cola & it's Tampa not ****** you Hillary-******* witch!

The farmer's cool, fiery eyes set gaze upon Cindy's smooth, recently-shaven thighs. “Engelbert & Tom Jones harmonize like Lennon & McCartney in that it's difficult to know where one voice begins and the other ends,” said she uncomfortably. The snow fell like salt in a mackerel canning plant. “Hurry,” the farmer hurriedly cautioned, “because our rural tattooed generation abides by the touchstone of their stained lives: doing **** *****.” She knew what that meant and was grateful that he said rural instead of hayseed. Meanwhile, back at the mayor's office young Nancy, the gorgeous Filipina from the classified department, was selling out to fat-cat, caffè Americano-types determined to destroy sleeping arrangements between the grafters of Cebu and the palm-greasers of Davao City. Describing two ages of a woman's life as tender and as ripe isn't respectful on the main island but typical throughout the U.S. empire. “Spoon cubed sugar my way young heifer,” said the man's man customer who wooed chinks like dental trickery remedies front-tooth interstices. Why does a woman, who considers herself a LADY, take offense to being called a ***** even though she named her ***** (her female dog): LADY? [Using wash-rag as a verb: “Did you wash-rag your ***?”; “Yes, I wash-ragged it!”] y [A dumb-*** child asks: “How does a spider **** ants?” An informed adult answers: “He grabs them and then beats the **** out of them!” An informed child asks: “Why does Pepsico use the kidney cells of aborted babies to flavor their beverages?” A dumb-*** adult answers: “Shut up!”]

An abnormal, married couple are a
couple of gays as both are homosexuals.

Tiffany Evans  Nov 2017
I wrote those poems about a while ago so I am not like that anymore
but I like to look back and see where I have come from.

The Suzy Berlinsky Happy Show
I suppose that you're smart enough to realize that a normal state
of mind is dependent on adequate oxygen, proper blood sugar
levels, normal body temperature & adequate nutrition.

Tiffany Evans  
Yes ma'am. I am all good now. My best poems are just slightly sad.

Cody Smith  8h
You're still up to this? Posting everyday for nobody? What's the deal?

𝑷𝒐𝒍𝒂 𝘉𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘬𝘺  6h
You're still up to this? Posting everyday for nobody? What's the deal?

Cody Smith  2h
I don't post every day. You seem to hate everyone, that ***** for you.

𝑷𝒐𝒍𝒂 𝘉𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘬𝘺  1h
I don't post every day. You seem to hate everyone, that ***** for you.