Turkic (Turkish somewhat) chicks are Mongoloidal enough to hold
my interest (among other things)...energy ex vacuo, gimme gimme!
as poems'll wax cardiologically to ameliorate my pain when I'm old
½ dead, ½ naked in the ½ mast wing of ****** Mary's angelical fold

Next non-Tuesday's sucky event: ******* on Ivory soap's chromium or toxified/toxificated cadmium-white sodium crystals. A lard-*** daughter, who abuses her thin-haired father, would lead a boar to slaughter. Thanks Krystal. I feel that 1 day Hawaii will be at peace & it'll be less quizzical than rinsing your fuse-cool tooth-brush under a loose-stool-**** flush.

We can't go there & we can do something with boats in our pockets
'cause heaven's God's door for the sum of 6 ***** & mid-leg sockets
that fall under the underlings whose socks are from cotton-sock kits
for high frequency, amplitude & pulse brassieres made to shock ****
of crude gals schtupping **** males in a kettle of ½-stewed whales

Aubrey Beardsley flailed his old, line-drawn limbs like a spastic, ½
sustained in turbid water, like fat Oprah eating-out Satan's daughter
6 days before the next flood that will preview a flat-world slaughter
in a ditch where a **** girl of desire feigns sleep after you shot her

N.A.S.A. fakes I.S.S. space-walks from Moscow's Star City, Russia
as the strains of zero G with an absence of air-locks would crush ya
like marauders marauding into Great Fred's mall at King of Prussia

The Homosexual
I was tying my shoe when a man bent over near me.
“Let me help,” he said.
“Are you a homosexual?” I asked.
“Yes I am,” he said, “and I'm also a shoe salesman.”

The Lesbian
I said to the bus driver, “Dragging my **** up a hill for your forgiveness ain't my idea of fishing for condiments in a bank on Labor Day.”
He wouldn't acknowledge me so I grabbed a nearby lesbian. “Either forgive me or I'll make this **** pregnant!” I threatened.
“Alright for Heaven's sake! I forgive you!” He said, whereby I immediately released the ****-diver.

I need 100% access to your labially-guarded, deeply-drilled treasure
to ensure 98% pleasure with my thrill-tool-to-knock-her-up measure

Van Gogh's ear was cut off with a knife
that had been used to dice potatoes.

I'm itching to use your new fire extinguisher. I can certainly understand why. Why what? Why you want to use my extinguisher. We agreed that we're not going to share physical intimacies. Remember? Of course. Here's the nozzle. Is it fully loaded? Shut up! Let's **** hard like hunky truck drivers on bennies! I don't want to. Oh, come on?! No!!! Gawd! You're no fun anymore. How do you mean? We were so happy when performing incomplete autopsies on each other. Remember? I cut your heel tendons as a joke. You're such a fat pig. You didn't laugh about that either. Sure, we had good times, but my feet are 100% okay now. The summer sun melts my *** like a miracle. Look at the sheen! It's like a million cabaret stars in a pit. You are very sweet. I have always admired your writing prowess. 1 day, perhaps, we'll meet as cousins far from the glare of Alphaville. Puking on you is a long-shot. Amen...

THE WAR FOR NIGERIA'S INDEPENDENCE - Abe Lincoln said (paraphrased from gossip I heard from a Nigerian schizophrenic with asthma): I am happy to be in ****** City to speak about the ***** War. Our people have suffered from short penises since Washington was a school boy: eating cherry trees; chopping down Lizzy Borden's mother with a hatchet. But I'm not going to bore you with that, instead I will drone on and on about slavery and **** chicks of mixed parentage, chicks with long nails and short-cropped *****, women with soft, brown ******* that bead oil and make life fun & pleasurable. Yes, my fellow men's room attendants, we must never give up nor surrender, nor eat cookies with dog turds on them.

Of course beastly Indian elephants are grey and come in quarts, but
you only come in droplets, because of your 1,096 itching **** warts

I was walking in the woods when a grizzly bear attacked me from out of nowhere. I used my Bruce Lee training as second nature by karate chopping the bear in the shin. He died within seconds.
   I heard a woman approach of heavy build. She was a Pygmy yet unusually tall. I pulled my gun. She took no notice and sallied forth. I didn't fire a warning shot. I let her pass as I figured her business was strictly Pygmy, 100% divorced from my non-Pygmy concerns. Boy, was I ever wrong. Three weeks later my paternity test came back: I was 74% Pygmy on my mother's side & 38½ on my father's. I was 112½% pure Pygmy – no denying that!
   We are presumed innocent until proven (beyond a reasonable doubt) guilty. Public opinion (what people think) is not bound by this stricture. Cancer isn't inspirational. It's a metabolic disease.

TOUCH ME IN THE NIGHT WITH A BROOM, **** JANITOR OF MY DREAMS! Don't gloat suicidal teen of bloat. You're not the only one who thinks acting dumb's fun. Just because you're very pretty doesn't mean that people have to listen to you, even though they will because you're very pretty.

JOHN WASHED HIS **** IN A DISH WASHER TO SAVE TIME as Tammy applied make-up with a chain saw. "Hurry, or we'll be late for the dog-******* contest!" Jim yelled from the balcony as hordes of Hawaiians marched into the sea.

I LOVED YOU LIKE A MILLIONAIRE LOVES ANOTHER MILLIONAIRE but that wasn't good enough! You cheated on me with my Siamese twin sister while I had my back turned. Mistaken identity my ***! You are well aware when we're in bed watching television, I'm the woman to your immediate left.

ENGLAND AND THE ROYAL GLAND - Diana kept 2 embalmed weasels in her royal underwear drawer "just in case" and Charles did likewise. The queen was very concerned because this tradition (the weasel thing) was started during the Great War and should've ended with it but it didn't. Later, after the queen crapped-out, Charles had his glandular prostate difficulties that shocked the world. Crude drawings of the inflamed part (of his prostate gland) were made by school children. Young Tommy Walters won a trip to the Bermuda Triangle. Everybody cheered.

DON'T MESS WITH ME or I'll use my grave-digging knowledge to **** you and my karate knowledge to dig your grave!

JESUS HAS COME BACK! It's the end of the world! What will we use for toilet paper?! Sand paper! Sand paper?! It's going to be rough...

UNMEASURABLE ROMANTIC DEVOTION! I'm totally lost in a fantasy world of your eternal love. Your kisses are like soft rays of moon light illuminating my ****** in a bowling alley. Your precious smile is brighter than 34 billion candles on the bottom of Lake Erie 3 days after Halloween.

THE VERY **** BOWLING ALLEY - Donna worked at a bowling alley for nymphomaniacs. Every morning she brushed her teeth before riding a pony to work. Her lover, Frank, was also a bowling alley employee and together they ate pork sandwiches for lunch while engaging in nymphomaniacal activity on lane six. 1 day, as their boss lay dying from the fatal bite of a king cobra, Donna went into a convulsion: writhing and flopping around like a fish in the lobby. Tons of fat people gathered around her, unable to move quickly because of their hyper-adiposity. Fortunately Framk, who had recently replaced the N in his name with an M, said: "Hang in there Donna!" to encourage Donna to hang in there. 3 days after that the bowling alley burned down because a fat woman went into a convulsion while warming up a pork sandwich with a candle.

ELDERLY WOMAN seeks young buck for nymphomaniacal activities (bowling alley ***). Must be able to heat pork-sandwich meat with candles without burning down the bowling alley.

MY DENTIST has more caps than I do and yet he knows how to avoid tooth decay. Never "twist off" a tumor no matter how much fun it might be. Treat tumors like warts, with warty respect. I don't know the adjective for tumor.

ADD EAR WAX THE EASY WAY! Are your ears low on wax? Mine are. I've tried everything: elephant *****, monkey-*** mites, and still my wax-levels remain dangerously low. I could die from ear wax fever if I don't do something right away! So yesterday I contacted doctor Clem Butter-**** whose work in ear wax replenishment is known in lots of places. He suggested that I jump off the observation platform of the Empire State Building with no clothes on. I asked how that would remedy my wax-deficit, and he said it wouldn't but he'd be there to photograph the entire fall for his new book: 𝙁𝙞𝙡𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙎𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝘿𝙪𝙢𝙗 𝘾𝙪𝙣𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙉𝙤 𝙀𝙖𝙧 𝙒𝙖𝙭 𝙇𝙚𝙖𝙥 𝙤𝙛𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙀𝙢𝙥𝙞𝙧𝙚 𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝘽𝙪𝙞𝙡𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜.

JOE BIDEN TOOK 10 TESTS PER DAY FOR 8 MONTHS TO PROVE THAT HE'S NOT SENILE (not even a little bit). Jill was there and so was Hunter, each of them witnessed how well Joe did. He answered all of the questions with ease. He's very sharp, like a spinal surgeon or a Subaru mechanic.

LAST TUESDAY I woke up and there was a big horse's head in bed with me. It was just like in that Mafia movie. I skinned it and mixed in noodles & cheese sauce. Pretty good, though not as good as mutilated monkey meat. It's a Dream Land trick! Run from the light, my skinny, blonde chick!

Nobody wanted a claw hammer from WILL JOHNSON, CLAW HAMMER SALESMAN because he was a *****. "*****, don't fret none," his loving wife whispered. "Shut up ***** or I'll **** you with a claw hammer!" Will erupted. "See?" She muttered softly. "This is why you can't sell claw hammers."

Being numb from Novocaine wouldn't have
made getting crushed by a car less painful.

CREATING A HOT WORLD OF PASSION - While I was eating a whole peanut butter & jelly-fish sandwich with my half-brother I thought about the past full year that brought me here: the parachute-folding lessons with my ex-gynecologist; the cream cheese factory fire; the alligator-bowel incident; the lottery ticket that made me the richest chick in Singapore under 33. It's been an interesting 12 months.

BURGER KING IS THE WORST PLACE TO *****! People are there to eat slop that looks like *****, not real *****. My uncle loved Burger King because he found true love there with Peggy, a beautiful laborer whose long, silky hair had 4% fryer fat in it and whose legs were whiter than mayonnaise and whose teeth were sharper than barnacles from Japan. One Wednesday morning, as they made passionate love behind an abandoned Kmart for 12 minutes, Peggy asked cautiously: "What if Kmart suddenly comes out of bankruptcy?" My uncle smiled, showing off large upper fangs that looked like cracked sugar cubes spray-painted with varnish. "It'll never happen," he assured her because, as a Burger King-trained lover, he was willing to lie about Kmart if he had to.

SUDDENLY Nig McPeters took the wig off his dead mother's head and threw it out the bus window. The passengers were shocked because the bus was struck by lightning. "This is God's doing!" Nig exclaimed as large gerbils attacked his ****** with the ferocity and ferociousness of 23 billion clones of Richard Gere. Later on, after several years had gone by, Nig became the wealthiest man ever to exist anywhere after stealing 12 trillion winning lottery tickets. "You are blessed by God," Nig's ex-lesbian neighbor and lover said 7 months before her ****** exploded from a hand grenade hidden in the rear part of her bikini *******.

I'm not violent. The most violent thing that I've ever done was to beat an elephant to death with a broom stick. That would be very violent. I'll not do it again unless you tell me to my precious, freckled-**** baby doll...or maybe, freckle-boobed? Please, I'm not interested in your *****! Put them back in their holster. No, no, I don't wanna tug on your thong...Back woman!!! I'm saving myself for marriage...gay marriage. I NEVER mix my private ****** with my public ******.

FIFTY-SIX FORMS OF VIOLENCE THAT COULD INJURE A LESBIAN WITHOUT HER EVER, OR EVEN, KNOWING IT: Lesbians are just like normal people who enjoy lesbianism. 1 day, while I was walking home from a lesbian get-together, I was attacked by 13 ex-lesbians armed with tranquilizer guns. When I woke up 32 hours later 1 of the ex-lesbians had assumed my identity and was raising my children and having *** with my husband "her way." Boy, was I ever ******!

“My glands are glandularly normal,” I told a farmer, who had to handle 1 farming problem before the next 1. ~ “Your normal glands make farming a piece of cake,” he said. ~ “Thanks a lot,” I answered. “My sincerity is why I'm respected by Willie Nelson somewhat.”; “Me too,” he said like a dumb *******.

A hysterectomy for your birthday...What do you want for your birthday? Do you want a  hysterectomy? I held an old, dying ****** in my arms and he whispered, “you are my friend.” He had an uncashed public assistance check in his pocket that he wanted me to have. “What about your 14 children?" I asked. He farted and died.

A guy can count, when he runs, on his biggest right-foot toe, just as
I counted on you camper-crammer Breanna, 15 little boyfriends ago
when you chirped like a meadow crow in an '05 red Dodge Shadow  
before folding 2 **** lips over in a corporate, ****-lip-folding show
for bread, dinero, gelt, mula, cash & seventy other words for dough
On the porch I was wildly horrified from this haunted-house fear as
Grandma struck me with cheer over her **** so sharp & **** so near
to my rock-hard-pronghorn projectile & manly, wedding-tackle gear
“At the bottom of the finest menu is offered wren mignon, captain”
a crew man proffered, before his wife got pimped by Peter Lawford
A million dead love-birds littered my dream-life & dream- girlfriend
after I epoxied her pate beyond the apex of the fore-crown's top end
Last month we ate turkeys from pointy beaks to wrinkly **** holes
while our wife crones were fingered like ****** Mao finger bowls
Breanna, I fear you, to be near you and to hear you when you boil a
chicken in the kitchen, when you turn on me with merciless *******'
to precipitate the most tremorous of Parkinsonian, lard-*** twitchin'
Breanna, I fear you, to hear you near you when you boil a wren like
a California chicken kitchen cook who sews ***** by hem-stitchin'
in dawning hours when plane Earth's keen on night-to-day switchin'
I wouldn't let you down like I put the window down, like I put your
mother down, or when I peeled your fish-net hose that wrap around
your creamy thighs that ruin our seedy *******/constructed lives
to make us want left states to turn right or men high up to fall down

You should always beg for pity while projecting pathetic uncertainty. Play dumb. Bathe infrequently. Puke after meals. Puke between meals. Puke and bathe and be all that you can be. Be an army of one. Bleach your hair. Join a cult. Sacrifice a Pygmy.

For General Robert E. & Captain Henry “Light Horse Harry” Lee I
whip out my Jackson to **** 17 soufflé cups of job drug-testing ***
at the base of this ancient Bell telephone-pole-straight live oak tree,
so as to remember mi hermano-alemán surely mucho older than me
who fell for Kubrick's moon hokum & G.M.'s power-train warranty
& Astrid Allwyn's once-upon-a-time-**** daughter Melinda O. Fee
and Yukio Mishima's The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea
that featured not Astrid Allwyn's younger daughter Astrid Vicki Fee

Teleprompter-reader Lesley Stahl on U.S. sanctions against Iraq: "We have heard that a half million children have died. I mean, that's more children than died in Hiroshima. And, you know, is the price worth it?"; Secretary of State Madeleine Albright: "I think this is a very hard choice, but the price--we think the price is worth it." — 60 Minutes (5/12/96)

Jean Parker (Aug. 11, 1915 – Nov. 30, 2005) American actress

Orson Welles (May 6, 1915 – October 10, 1985)

Frank Sinatra (December 12, 1915 – May 14, 1998)

Ingrid Bergman (29 August 1915 – 29 August 1982)

David Bowie pushed us in the here & now, as neither fish nor fowl,
plowed under, Bowie was, as grey ash by a double moldboard plow

Tuck it under like you did in City Quezon,
to make it hurt like a strapped back put-on

Ｓｕｚｙ 𝗕𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗸𝘆
ˢⁱᵐᵖᵃⁿᵍ ᴮᵉᵈᵒᵏ, ˢⁱⁿᵍᵃᵖᵒʳᵉ
🅸 🅳🅾🅽'🆃 🅺🅽🅾🆆, 🅰🅽🅳 🅽🅴🅸🆃🅷🅴🆁 🅳🅾 🆈🅾🆄, 🆂🅾 🆂🆃🅾🅿 🅿🆁🅴🆃🅴🅽🅳🅸🅽🅶!
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Ｓｕｚｙ 𝗕𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗸𝘆 35m
Hell O'Poetry
OHIO'S LONELIEST LESBIAN walked to Burger King alone. "I want 2 lesbian burgers with extra kethcup," she ordered. "Kethcup? Don't you mean ketchup?" The flunky asked. "Whatever," the lesbian replied. Later, after her toe nail fell off, she went to bed alone without a lesbian lover. Weeks went by when finally a lesbian bumped into her at McDonald's. "Hey! Watch where you're going *****!" Ohio's loneliest lesbian yelled. "Sorry," the other lesbian said as 2 gerbils escaped from her mini skirt.

Fairy Terry Jones died for the good of all trollops because Heaven's
horrid at its north peak because sea snails freeze in an Arctic creek.
Terry Jones is dead & 1 fewer Terence is good because the world is
colder at the northern peak where no slush melts in an Arctic creek.

Allāh's Moslemical axiom Sharia...

I'll put the high drag on my brake foot for all the good that that'll do
if you'll shoot the dog that bit me, so I'll have no dog-owners to sue
as I sleep with a ***** nearby, not a lass from a whelpin'-kennel zoo
sprawled among kibble, collars & chawed-over rubber toys to chew
in configurations approximatin' a rolled-up newspaper & a flat shoe
as a pig-pen pig's **** & pig **** brews into a piggish, pig-pen brew
I become a marine: 1 of the proud, gun-crazy, baby-slaughterin' few

When I finished brain doctor surgery school I was so gay, festive &
alive, because I was ready to probe the lobes of 1 tumor patient in 5

"The Council on Foreign Relations is the American branch of a society which originated in England (R.I.I.A.) ... [and] ... believes national boundaries should be obliterated and one-world rule established."
— Dr. Carroll Quigley

A year from here I hope to proclaim (after processing): “I knocked up my girlfriend. It was my happy obligement. I would've knocked you up too, but you're too self-involved.”

You beat me with a rusty crow bar
after running me over with your car
I sustained horrific injuries to my face
before you sprayed my eyes with mace

***-change surgery accommodates mental illness.

Wilt Chamberlain died after ******* 20,000 women while he was 7
feet tall, ******* with 1 ball in the spring & the other ball in the fall

Marxism has been thoroughly humiliated throughout the world, throughout the 20th century, yet it is religiously sermonized in the publicly-funded colleges of the United States; the same colleges that have unlimited resources to prove the righteousness of their property tax exempt statuses. Philosophy is no basis for scientific research. When science embraces philosophy we get religion.

I wait by the gate away from my dog dish & plate
It's the waiting I hate as you're always late

Fold in bent arms & dive headlong from cyclone-cracked pine trees
as my corn's in oleo & billboards are up & the ***** is here to seize

I say, ***-*** with the prime minister of Norway made Al Gore gay
& I relay that Al F. Gore lives for tragedy to be of an off-world way
on a suspiciously-flat Kansas, 22 hours from my **** Manila Pinay
who never provokes & provocates in ways that shock & horrify me
as she's an ocean away, skirtin' the specifically-pacifical Pacific Sea

Chemicalized grin, shut up ***** while I shove it back in. 6-30-16 {...open with welcomed arms...}: I became more stupid without assistance. After each shave I slipped my pantyhose on with ease. Stubble could shred my hosiery if I weren't careful, costing me money. I couldn't play God anymore and my pastor knew it.

MARGE is a big lesbian with a heart of gold who warned Clara 23 minutes before it was too late: "You'll never out-run a wild hill-bear in that flimsy wheel-chair!" But Clara wouldn't listen because she had a big bug up her bony **** or something I guess. "The next lesbian who tells me that she can out-run a bear will find my hairy foot six inches up her ******!" Marge exclaimed with big-hearted tears in her eyes.

Up the ladder with you because you've been on the floor too long
Put yourself together right, as you've been forever doing it wrong
I need total, absolute assurance that you will not run away again
so I've contacted your ***** boss, that ****** **** you call "Ken,"**
as he knows the haunts & the dives and gutters where you've been

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm Waiting for My Man"
The Velvet Underground
I'm waiting for my man
Twenty-six dollars in my hand
Up to Lexington, one, two, five
Feel sick and *****, more dead than alive
I'm waiting for my man
Hey, white boy, what you doin' uptown?
Hey, white boy, you chasin' our women around?
Oh pardon me sir, it's the furthest from my mind
I'm just lookin' for a dear, dear friend of mine
I'm waiting for my man
Here he comes, he's all dressed in black
Beat up shoes and a big straw hat
He's never early, he's always late
First thing you learn is that you always gotta wait
I'm waiting for my man, ah work it now
Up to a brownstone, up three flights of stairs
Everybody's pinned you, but nobody cares
He's got the works, gives you sweet taste
Ah then you gotta split because you got no time to waste
I'm waiting for my man
Baby don't you holler, darlin' don't you bawl and shout
I'm feeling good, you know I'm gonna work it on out
I'm feeling good, I feel oh so fine
Until tomorrow, but that's just some other time
I'm waiting for my man, walk it home

The Lesbian Toe-Feeler...It's been a normal day. Thanks for letting me feel your lesbianism. You felt my toe, my fourth toe. I know, but I could see how it sparked your lesbian curiosity. No it didn't. Shall I touch your other toes? Okay.

The Active Lesbian ...Are you an active lesbian? Yes, I belong to 28 lesbian organizations. So do I. Then you're a lesbian like me? No, I'm not a lesbian. You're not a lesbian? I'm not. Then why are you a member of 28 lesbian organizations? I don't know.

Kiss me like you did forever when you were romantic often with an
undertaker at a Boston funeral parlor who laid you in a wood coffin
From what I detect, regardin' the unfaithful nature of folks living in
Malaysia: cheating's common among adulterous Malaysians, whilst
Indonesians & Micronesians treat all *****-**** ***** with respect
by wearin' prophylactical **** covers to not catch V.D.'s that infect