Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Jun 21 · 36
THE FIRE OF DESIRE
Self-sufficiency can be achieved with minimal effort. Take for example the fable of the fireman and the *******. "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The fireman said as he pulled out his hose. "It sure is!" The ******* answered back. "Have you been a ******* for a long time?" Bill, the fireman asked. "Thirteen years," Jill, the ******* answered. "Hey, that's a coincidence. I've been a *******, I mean fireman, for thirteen years too!" Bill exclaimed with a big *******, I mean smile, on his face.
I possess a passin' interest in the underwear of young South Korean
underwear models & their big underwear fears, as my sister drove a
South Korean underwear truck for teen-underwear models for years
I have a big interest in underwear truckin' for 18 teen South Korean
underwear models & their large underwear fears, as 1 sister drove a
Korean underwear truck for 18 teen-underwear models for 18 years
Monica's bikini ******* were so tight that they caused her to have terrifying hallucinations of a world with no Walmarts and Burger Kings. Heather, her ex-lesbian lover, took her hand (which had been placed in a cooler till surgeons could attach it) and smiled a toothy grin that was so beautiful (more beautiful than Julia Roberts' visible gums) that small airplane pilots (plagued by dwarfism) cooly crashed their motorcycles into an abortion clinic nearby till nobody protested anymore because they were completely dead like roaches in a cup of boiling saffron oil.
Jun 21 · 38
THE SUMATRAN PLAN
Dana shaved off her left eyebrow to show Molly she's an ex-lesbian. Everyone at the bowling alley, except Tina, ignored it. Several months later the building was sold to Japanese industrialists who enacted an ex-lesbian policy to make Japan less gay than Sumatra.
Jun 21 · 43
ZZ Top
AN EX-PODIATRIST REMEMBERS OPRAH'S FEET - Oprah was late for her 2 p.m. appointment. She removed one army boot after taking her bra off. Her feet were large, one had a ZZ Top tattoo. I told her to lie flat, which she did. Her stories made no sense. She recalled eating a whole pig at Burger King when she was 20. I didn't question her on that because I feared for my life.
Jun 20 · 37
I WAS TOUCHED BY GOD
BEFORE MY CREATION

for a divine porpoise; a porpoise that you are too *******
stupid to understand. Don't question my God-anointed
porpoise on this Earthen plane! I mean ๐˜ฑ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฐ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ.
Jun 20 · 36
TWO NEGROMEN
[pickup notice for Matthew Fairfax and Levi Brown]
Creator
Keenon, Peter
Description
Two black men, Matthew Fairfax and Levi Brown, were captured and committed to jail in New Brunswick as suspected runaways on January 1, 1801. Peter Keenon, the keeper of the prison of Middlesex county, publishes a notice stating that the two men will be sold by the jailer if their masters do not come forward to claim them by March 26, 1801.

This notice was originally issued on March 4, 1801, and ran for 4 consecutive weeks in the newspaper.
Date
1801-03-27
Spatial Coverage
New Brunswick, Middlesex County, New Jersey
Fairfax County, Virginia
Pennsylvania
Why does the letter 'S' look like an 'F' in old manuscripts?
News
By Megan Gannon published May 26, 2019

When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Hereโ€™s how it works.

Bill of Rights
It may look like an "f," but that's actually a "long s" in "Congress." (Image credit: Shutterstock)
If you've ever had the pleasure of looking at a centuries-old manuscript, like an original handwritten copy of the U.S. Bill of Rights or a first-edition printing of John Milton's epic poem "Paradise Lost," you may have stumbled over an unfamiliar letter: the long s.

To modern readers, the long s (written as 'ลฟ') might make you think you're catching misspellings or typos like "Congrefs" instead of "Congress" or "Loft" instead of "Lost." Look closer though and you'll notice that, unlike an f, the character either has no crossbar or only a nub on the left side of the staff. Though it may seem more like an f, the letter is just another variation of the lowercase s.

Where did the long s come from and why has this character largely disappeared? John Overholt, a curator at Harvard University's Houghton Library, told Live Science that the long s originated in handwriting and was later adopted in typography when printing became widespread in Europe during the Renaissance.

You may like
A clay artifact, about the size of a finger with engraved symbols.
What was the first alphabet in the world?
An illustration of a closed book with the letters falling off of the pages
How are you able to read words without vowels?
Four people stand in front of a table with a large, old book on top. One wears white gloves and opens the cover.
'Hairy books' were covered in sealskin by medieval monks
Related: Why do people hate Comic Sans so much?

The long s can be traced back to Roman times, when the lowercase s typical took an elongated form in cursive writing in Latin. According to librarians at the New York Academy of Medicine, people were using the long s at the beginning and middle of words by the 12th century.

The long s and the more familiar short s represent the same sound, and the rules for using long s versus short s varied over time and place, Overholt said.

Some of the rules written in English included not using the long s at the end of a word ("success" becomes "ลฟucceลฟs") and not using the long s before an f ("transfuse" becomes "transfuลฟe") and always using the short s before an apostrophe.
Betty wallowed like a hog in slop so happily that Terry took off his wig and puked copiously into a wine goblet, overflowing it. "Jesus H. God Terry!" Betty exclaimed like a **** woman with a machete, half-stupid with useless vanity and trepidation. "I'm sick. I ate a crunchy frog," he admitted. "Crunchy frog? Didn't you even take the bones out?!" She asked. "If I did it wouldn't be crunchy," he reasoned.
The chair was so comfortable at my uncle's funeral that it didn't tear the back of my *** off like other chairs do. I was happy about that yet sad about my uncle's demise. He had been eaten by Pygmy cannibals while playing tennis. Aunt Joan, his wife, had begged him to cancel the match because Pygmy cannibals had been spotted in the vicinity. But, being stubborn like he was, he exhibited no outward fear of the little human-flesh-eating buggers. "Pygmy cannibals don't scare me," he said solemnly while swatting a phantom ball before departing. "Please don't go," Joan said with moist eyes and a ***** that was so beautiful that ๐˜๐˜ถ๐˜ญ๐˜ท๐˜ข ๐˜”๐˜ข๐˜จ๐˜ข๐˜ป๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ featured it on the cover of their ๐˜—๐˜บ๐˜จ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜“๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ edition.
A TOILET TOO FAR AWAY made messing up the floor probable (even likely). "It can't be done," youthful cadet Jimmy Carter said a hundred years before crapping-out because he was insane. Nobody doubts that, not even people who usually would; people who eat dirt cookies in Haiti and rinse their calf muscles with white gas (also known as Coleman fuel). ******* pagans! Saying bad stuff about Jesus! They ought to be ashamed! Hanged upside down on a cross then set ablaze!
Jun 19 · 22
BEARS IN DANGER
To preserve my lungs from frequent usage, I choose to live underwater a lot. Usually when nobody's looking I "breathe" straight water, extracting oxygen like fish do. When I'm breathing on land, I attack grizzly bears and eat them, spitting ****** bear guts everywhere.
Jun 19 · 29
Hideki Tojo
WHY DID JOHN LENNON HATE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES SO MUCH? John Lennon was a complex man who enjoyed Japanese women and writing catchy songs for the Beatles. One day, in 1977, a young Jehovah's Witness approached him with a bag of money. Lennon grabbed the money and ran off into the night, never to be seen again. Three years later Yoko Ono (his wife) found him in Afghanistan living in a van down by the river. John was adamant about remaining where he was and threw raw carp at Yoko until she was covered by so many that her tail fins became inflamed. Emergency carp-woman surgery was performed, and her back legs were shortened. After 3 weeks she was in the water again, swimming with several dozen Japanese carp sisters. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, young Julian F. Lennon, Junior was infecting himself with genital ****** for some reason. Yoko blamed prime war minister Hideki Tojo, and everyone kissed everyone till they fell asleep, only to awaken 56 hours later in the future with no clothes on, on a beach somewhere in Haiti among many pocket-picking Negroes.
Jun 19 · 33
Lizard Taylor
TONS OF STUFF ABOUT MICHAEL JACKSON IS INCORRECT, stuff like (1) He slept with elderly men. (2) He wore only 1 oven glove. (3) He and Liz Taylor had babies together. (3) Tito replaced him after he was killed in an avalanche. (4) He and his father Joe Jackson invented tampons.
Do you often come home at night and he's not there because he's drunk somewhere? Do you wish that he would become an ex-alcoholic sometimes? Are you worried about him dying on his own ***** or someone else's? Do you long for the day when ex-lesbians will be totally accepted in the active lesbian community? If so, send a million dollars to Alcoholics for Ex-Lesbian Sports.
Jun 18 · 41
QUICK SEMPSTRESS
She's always jutting her **** out for attention because
she can't sing. She's always on about men who let her
down. I think she's a loony, a ***** and a clown.
Jun 18 · 29
THE CUT-OFF DATE
I heard knocking, metal against metal, from where my engine's oily inside. I asked a mechanic about it but he was a ****** and could only plan his penectomy strategy. I wished him well and rubbed mine gently for good luck till he disappeared behind a mound of dirt.
Next page