Where? Here! It's too small. You should've got one fifty times bigger. What can I do now? Enlarge it with tattoo enlargening cream. Simply rub it into small tattoos every 15 seconds for 9 months. How much larger will my tattoo get? Well, a tattoo that's 1 square inch can get as large as a garbage can lid. That is large! See this cobra? It used to be no bigger than a hornet. Now look at it! It wraps around my flabby *** and ***** before lurching north to my throat. I'm impressed!

A lot of folks were saddened by George Carlin's sudden death as they would have liked it better if he had suffered in an agonizing vegetative state for a year or more before croaking. Or, in a revised formulation: A lot of folks were saddened by George Carlin's sudden death as they would have liked it better if he'd suffered in agony as a vegetable for a year or more before croaking. {Carlin, from his bully pulpit, called for the extended sufferings & deaths of many. I'm waxing profanely, of course, in the spirit of Carlin.}

The movie's pretty good. There are lots of battle action scenes that don't involve lesbians. I was disappointed that the main lesbian was very short and hard to see when the ship dipped below a wave. I liked the pillow fight scene between Joan and Carol, even though they didn't have lezzy *** or anything.

Fred lived with his mother in an abandoned Kmart, 3 miles from the furthest Dairy Queen. One day, while he was rinsing his ****** in a drinking fountain, president Jimmy Carter's ghost appeared on the back of Walter Mondale. They were 𝘉𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘔𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 like crazy: slipping 𝘪𝘵 in part way, then all the way, then dangling 𝘪𝘵, then teasing the entrance, then ramming 𝘪𝘵 in till 𝘪𝘵 felt like 𝘪𝘵 was stuck up there against the prostate. "What do you want from me?" Fred asked in a butch voice, even though the ghosts had 100% evaporated. It was pointless to tell his mother about it because she was totally crazy already.

Fred Gizzard and his mother lived secluded lives on top of an abandoned Dairy Queen roof even though they were desperately impoverished because of a 100% lack of money. "I'll have a deluxe D.Q. sundae *****!" Fred demanded and somehow (maybe through Jesus) the dessert appeared. One day he ordered a ******* called Kandee and she showed up and together they went onto the roof of another abandoned Dairy Queen and made sweet love for 2 minutes until she finally confessed to Fred that her name wasn't Kandee because she was a royal princess of a popular country and only ****** in her free time when she wasn't on her billion-dollar yacht eating expensive seafood and having her gold-plated bikini altered. Fred gasped and grabbed her ******* enraptured with joyfulness. "Praise Jesus!" He exclaimed in a happy way that made the princess want to have additional *** with him. Later, the two of them climbed onto the roof of the first Dairy Queen to live with Fred's mother under a tarp for 2 years.

I'll never forget what Pete Rose said, even if I get clubbed in the head repeatedly with a baseball bat by his demonic ghost: "Let us not burn our bridges as we climb the ladder of success together while walking a mile in each other's shoes after doing stuff to others like they did to us."

(22 March 1936 – 13 September 2023) was a Kenyan-born British s musician. He is best known for his baritone singing voice and trademark whistling ability as well as his guitar skills. 𝗛𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗡𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗶, 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗺𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗮 𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗯𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗼𝗻 𝟭 𝗔𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗹 𝟭𝟵𝟴𝟵 𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝗮 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗴𝗮𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝗪𝗵𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗿’𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗲𝗳𝘁 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿, 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀 𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿, 𝘁𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝘂𝗽 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗽𝗲𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗮𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗪𝗵𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗿'𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗘𝗻𝗴𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝟭𝟵𝟵𝟲. 𝗪𝗵𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁: "𝗜𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗮𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗜 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗶𝗳 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻."

GARY COOPER KISSED HIS GAY LOVER passionately for two hours till a fresh gay lover was delivered to John Wayne's garish dungeon by the movie studio's executive for gay replacement lovers. "Thanks for the fresh homosexual," Gary Cooper said politely as those close to him were horrified by the obvious fact that this handsome matinee idol was more festive than a liver-pink picnic basket floating in a bubbly sea of curdled butter milk.

***** WANTED TO BE A PROFESSIONAL BOWLER, so she joined a bowling league of ex-lesbian bowlers. Every Saturday the league met at Big Lulu's Ex-Lesbian Bowling Alley to practice. It was fun and educational for ***** to learn bowling tricks while discussing ex-lesbian topics that weren't discussed in other bowling alleys. One day, as she was waxing her ball, a large ex-lesbian approached from behind. "Hi, my name's Kandee Funnel and I've been an ex-lesbian for 12 minutes. How about you?" ***** smiled at that and proclaimed herself to be a non-ex-lesbian who just wanted to bowl. From that moment on Kandee and ***** became fast friends: bowling in the ****, eating ham sandwiches three at a time, raising chinchillas for Canadian furriers.

MY DAD WAS AS MASCULINE AS TOM SELLECK before he started kissing men (Selleck, not my dad). One day, in the garden where dad & I were raising chinchillas for big money, a hurricane swept through suddenly. The forceful wind took us high above the trees to a magical world of fairies and pixies where bubble gum was free (or really cheap). And then, totally unexpected, Jesus appeared in a long robe without pockets. "Jesus! Where do you put your stuff in a robe without pockets?!" I asked. Jesus just looked at me like an angel looks at ****-straps and brassieres. "I do not need pockets because Jehovah is my Father," He replied softly, even though it was really windy. Since I didn't want to **** Him off a second time I didn't say anything else till the wind stopped and we were gently set down among our chinchillas like nothing happened. To this day neither of us have spoken of this.

MARBLES ARE ALWAYS FREE at Big Bob's Ex-Lesbian Jamboree where a chick can wear alligator boots without ex-lesbians with cash climbing up and down her fat ***.

Carlita had the hots for Boris but she couldn't tell anyone because her lips were too big to form words after the helicopter crash. "Dear Mama," she wrote on a roll of new toilet paper, "I love Boris and there's nothing you can do about it!" Later, after her lips returned to normal, she and Boris took a helicopter to eastern Poland where the people were so stupid that neither of them could believe it. "All those ****** jokes must've come from here," Boris lamented as gerbils fought for their young lives to escape from his ******.

Onto my stump I rub expensive aloe vera stump cream
before and after swimming in an icy mountain stream
'cause I don't want to be on the stumpy jungle-rot team.

𝗗𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗝𝗮𝗶𝗹-𝗕𝗮𝗶𝘁; 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗝𝗼𝘆𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲; 𝗖𝗼𝗼𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗦𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗹-𝗠𝗲𝗮𝘁; 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗗𝗲𝗽𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝗳 𝗢𝗽𝗿𝗮𝗵; 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗣𝗼𝗿𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗙𝗹𝘂 𝗦𝗲𝗿𝘂𝗺𝘀; 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹-𝗔𝗹𝗹𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗥𝗼𝘀𝗶𝗲 𝗢'𝗗𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗹𝗹; 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘂𝘁𝗲𝘀; 𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸𝘆 𝗪𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗛𝘆𝗴𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗲; 𝗗𝗶𝗮𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗙𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀; 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗔𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝘀𝘁𝘀; 𝗡.𝗔.𝗦.𝗔.'𝘀 𝗗𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵; 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗴 𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗧𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗼𝗼𝘀; 𝗘𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆-𝗦𝘂𝗰𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗺; 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗙𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗲; 𝗗𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘆 𝗚𝗿𝗶𝘇𝘇𝗹𝘆 𝗕𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀; 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗠𝗶𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗲𝗹 𝗝𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀𝗼𝗻: 𝗔𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗲𝗳𝘁 𝗛𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗚𝗼𝗱; 𝗠𝗼𝗻𝗼𝗴𝗮𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗪𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻 𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻; 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗵𝘆 𝗖𝗹𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗰𝘀; 𝗦𝘂𝗿𝘃𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗛𝗼𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗰𝗲; 𝗗𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗱 𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗲'𝘀 𝗖𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲𝘁-𝗦𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴-𝗦𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗧𝗶𝗽𝘀; 𝗦𝘂𝗿𝘃𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻; 𝗦𝗻𝗮𝘇𝘇𝘆 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝘇𝘇𝘆 𝗕𝗼𝗻𝗼'𝘀 𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗰 𝗨𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗙𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗣𝗼𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀; 𝗦𝘂𝗿𝘃𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝗯𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻; 𝗖𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗨𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗿𝘆 𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗽𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝟯𝟯 𝗘𝗮𝘀𝘆 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽𝘀; 𝗦𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗕𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗴𝗲; 𝗣𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗲; 𝗟𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻 𝗮 𝗣𝗶𝗴 𝗙𝗮𝗿𝗺; 𝗥𝗲𝗱𝗻𝗲𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗠𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗹; 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗵 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗜𝗺𝗯𝗶𝗯𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝗼𝗱𝗶𝘂𝗺 𝗙𝗹𝘂𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗮𝘀 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗰 𝗪𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗹𝘆; 𝗣𝗿𝘂𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗠𝗼𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗔𝗺𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗖𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗕𝗮𝗻𝗸𝗲𝗿𝘀; 𝗕𝗲𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗪𝗵𝗼 𝗠𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗧𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗽𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰; 𝗡𝗲𝗴𝗿𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗛𝗼𝘁 𝗥𝗼𝗱𝘀

After lunch a normal couple of people walked across an old Ohio River bridge for fun, little did they know that it was Ex-Lesbian Day. "Look Helga," Rex said, pointing at two ex-lesbians going at it big time in river mud. "That's terrible, especially 'cause everyone can see them." After that they continued on their way without talking till Rex saw another couple of ex-lesbians fornicating on a table at Dairy Queen. "I'm starting to believe that Ex-Lesbian Day is a joke," Helga blurted. Rex nodded in agreement.

Gallagher et al. 2010 J Toxicol Env Health A “Hepatitis B vaccination of male neonates and autism diagnosis, NHIS 1997-2002” PMID 21058170.  
The study authors investigated the National Health Inventory Survey (a very large national database) and found that boys receiving the full HepB series were 3 times as likely to receive an autism diagnosis as compared to those not receiving any HepB vaccine (statistically significant).  Non-white boys had a significantly worse outcome.
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20. Minami et al. 2010 Cell Biol Toxicol “Induction of metallothionein in mouse cerebellum and cerebrum with low-dose thimerosal injection” PMID 19357975.  
The study authors determined that in combination with the brain pathology observed in patients diagnosed with autism, the present study helps to support the possible biological plausibility for how low-dose exposure to mercury from thimerosal-containing vaccines may be associated with autism.
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25. Young et al. 2008 J Neurol Sci “Thimerosal exposure in infants and neurodevelopmental disorders: an assessment of computerized medical records in the Vaccine Safety Datalink” PMID 18482737.  
The study authors determined that significantly increased risk ratios were observed for autism and autism spectrum disorders as a result of exposure to mercury from Thimerosal containing vaccines using the CDC’s Vaccine Safety Datalink.
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26. Geier et al. 2008 Neuro Endocrinol Lett “Neurodevelopmental disorders, maternal Rh-negativity, and Rho(D) immune globulins: a multi-center assessment” PMID 18404135.  
Mothers receiving thimerosal via Rho(D) immune globulin injection saw a significantly higher rate of autism in the children exposed to mercury in utero.  Overall, twice as much autism was seen in the exposed group of children versus the non-exposed control group.
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33. Geier et al. 2006 J Toxicol Env Health A “An evaluation of the effects of thimerosal on neurodevelopmental disorders reported following DTP and Hib vaccines in comparison to DTPH vaccine in the United States” PMID 16766480.  
This study shows significantly increased risk ratios for autism, speech disorders, mental retardation, infantile spasms, and thinking abnormalities reported to VAERS found following thimerosal-containing DTP vaccines in comparison to thimerosal-free DTPH vaccines, with minimal bias or systematic error.
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­38. Burbacher et al. 2005 Environ Health Perspect “Comparison of blood and brain mercury levels in infant monkeys exposed to methylmercury or vaccines containing thimerosal” PMID 16079072.
Infant macaques retained significantly higher levels of elemental mercury in their brain tissue when exposed to thimerosal in infant vaccines versus methylmercury.  The half-life of the mercury associated with thimerosal exposure was indefinite as it lasted much longer than the overall testing period.
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39. Yel et al. 2005 Int J Mol Med “Thimerosal induces neuronal cell apoptosis by causing cytochrome c and apoptosis-inducing factor release from mitochondria” PMID 16273274
Thimerosal at levels comparable to infant exposure via vaccines caused neuronal cell death through changing the mitochondrial microenvironment.  Thimerosal induced cell death was associated with mitochondrial depolarization and a significant level of reactive oxidative stress intracellularly.
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42­. Parran et al. 2005 Toxicol Sci “Effects of Thimerosal on NGF signal transduction and cell death in neuroblastoma cells” PMID 15843506.
Thimerosal exposure caused programmed cell death (apoptosis) in neuroblastoma cells.  At 48 hours incubation, concentrations of thimerosal typical of those present in the blood stream after vaccination caused neuronal death.
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43. James et al. 2004 Am J Clinical Nutrition “Metabolic biomarkers of increased oxidative stress and impaired methylation capacity in children with autism” 80:1611.  
Children with autism have a diminished methylation capacity leading to higher sustained levels of oxidation stress, due to deficiencies primarily in glutathione.  Vaccines produce a very high level of oxidation stress to the body upon administration.
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­51. Bernard et al. 2002 Mol Psychiatr “The Role of Mercury in the Pathogenesis of Autism” PMID 12142947.
This paper links thimerosal exposure via infant vaccines to autism based on the pathologies associated with autism as well as the timing of autistic regression.  Emphasis is made on the total mercury exposure to infants in the vaccination schedule used in the 1990’s and early 2000’s.
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53. Verstraeten et al. 1999 Internal CDC Abstract for the Epidemic Intelligence Service Meeting of 2000 “Increased risk of developmental neurologic impairment after high exposure to thimerosal-containing vaccine in first month of life.”  This original version of the Verstraeten et al. paper (that was ultimately “watered down” before it was published in final form in 2003) shows risks of autism at 7.6-fold for children exposed to thimerosal in the first month of life compared to unexposed controls.

SEE WHAT REAL MEN ARE MADE OF at the autopsy exhibit. Food,
fun and beer-swigging for all ticket-holders! Don't sit in the rain when
you can be enjoying family-friendly Viet Cong-style executions! **** a
****** for mommy while large badgers claw at your entrails! Deep-
throat a "big one" in a bread truck! ***** mysterious women with no
clothes on! It's all for charity: Saint Jude's Cancer Torture Hospital!

with a big mason jar of fake squirrel scrotums in peroxide. "What's that?!" The prettiest woman at the party asks. "Squirrel scrotums!" You exclaim with manly confidence which compels her to reply: "Even though I'm a committed lesbian with many years of experience, the fact that you brought squirrel scrotums in peroxide to a party makes me want to engage in *** with you freely." Later, after you 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘴, you tell her that the squirrel scrotums are fake to which she responds: "I don't care. Being with you has turned me into an ex-lesbian forever. I want to become a Christian now and live in a nice house that's NOT made of oriented strand board."

Oh, I know lazy Joe & crazy Flo from downtown Toledo, Ohio. They have large skulls like the fake ones sold at broken-down malls. They eat rancid pork, rabbit & stork after nightly skating and ex-lesbian-inspired *******. One day I saw Joe rolling in a vast barn yard of reeking pig-**** like he was the reigning king of England or nutty Mister Big ****. They're terrible neighbors who are always screaming because the Cuban ****** they use are far too big for prolonged ****** reaming. I would hate to be madly in love with either of them because they're totally into ****** gay men.

***** WANTED TO BE A PROFESSIONAL BOWLER, so she joined a bowling league of ex-lesbian bowlers. Every Saturday the league met at Big Lulu's Ex-Lesbian Bowling Alley to practice. It was fun and educational for ***** to learn bowling tricks while discussing ex-lesbian topics that weren't discussed in other bowling alleys. One day, as she was waxing her ball, a large ex-lesbian approached from behind. "Hi, my name's Kandee Funnel and I've been an ex-lesbian for 12 minutes. How about you?" ***** smiled at that and proclaimed herself to be a non-ex-lesbian who just wanted to bowl. From that moment on Kandee and ***** became fast friends: bowling in the ****, eating ham sandwiches three at a time, raising chinchillas for Canadian furriers.

passionately for two hours till a fresh gay lover was delivered to John Wayne's garish dungeon by the movie studio's executive for gay replacement lovers. "Thanks for the fresh homosexual," Gary Cooper said politely as those close to him were horrified by the obvious fact that this handsome matinee idol was more festive than a liver-pink picnic basket floating in a bubbly sea of curdled butter milk.

That camper toilet is shaped like Julia Roberts! Yes, that's right. It's useful for campers and their friends in the woods. Simply sit on it and let go. But why is it shaped like Julia Roberts? Because we have a licensing agreement with her brother Eric. He's the brains behind the former beauty.