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Audrey's lips wrapped around his teeth like a wrist watch. Toby could feel her savage love so much. Audrey pulled her thighs into the naked hollows of his underarms. If this wasn't love he couldn't tell. How long they had wondered what closeness felt like. Audrey had to say: "My lover, I need to know the sexiness of your intimacy a lot." Toby answered, "Me too." That day Audrey became impregnated big time. Would anyone notice in 8 months? Toby might, especially if he ran into Audrey's pregnancy doctor.
   Audrey's uncle was visiting from New Mexico for a month. He was a kindly man whom Audrey liked. No monkey business with uncle Chuck. He was 100% normal. That's for sure. One morning when Audrey was rinsing her ****** uncle Chuck entered the kitchen. "What's up Audrey?" Chuck asked.
   "Just washin' my *******."
   "Big night?"
   "No, Uncle, just routine laundering."
   Their back-and-forth banter was casual.
   "Today, I've got 3 appointments," Chuck mused.
   "Hand to me my Kunta Kinte commemorative *****,"
Audrey instructed casually enough.
   "This one?" Chuck asked.
   "Yes, thanks," Audrey said as she relaxed her **** muscles.
   "Good-bye," Chuck said 30 seconds before he left.
   "Good-bye," Audrey replied 7 seconds before he left.

Chapter 2, Toby's gay link to the Mafia was about to be revealed. Toby wasn't gay, not even a little bit. He loved women a lot. Once when a gay man asked Toby to marry him, Toby didn't hesitate to say NO! and the gay man knew it. Deep respect warmed the gay community as word spread quickly. So when anyone says that Toby's gay ties to the Sicilian Cosa Nostra Mafia were homosexual they're wrong, Mafia-gabage-dumpster-dead-wrong!

Chapter 3, Uncle Chuck's hidden secret wasn't that he was normal, 100% so and everyone knew it. But uncle Chuck had a hidden secret that Audrey must not find out about or her life would be irreversibly changed and it could never be changed back again.

Chapter 4, Audrey took L.S.D. and had an awful flashback to 1999 about illegal drug use. She had been shacking up with a man who respected women a lot. He saw that she was L.S.D.-free and selflessly offered to her L.S.D. for free. She accepted it and immediately felt that life was enhanced by Hospice care in the long run.

Chapter 5, "His lard *** brought him down. He fell to the floor, not to the ground" was what uncle Chucky wanted on his tombstone that marked the muddy grave where he would be buried dead. It didn't matter, the seepage. Lee Oswald was corrupted by it and no comrade cried for months because he was a stinking, cruddy, raunchy, Marxist, Leninist, ****** red ***** Russian spy.
The dirt was piling high on top of the corpse as was the custom at
an interment while Donny Osmond's music, with guest artist
Jimmy Osmond, played in the background. I almost had an
epileptic seizure but I'm okay now, just a slight headache.
Jan 9 · 35
LACK OF LORKENHEIMERS
Hi. I wish to speak with Leonard J. Lorkenheimer. I'm sorry but Mister Lorkenheimer is unable to come to the phone. Why? Because he was killed in an avalanche fifteen years ago. Well, let me speak with his brother then. No can do. Why? Mister Lorkenheimer and his brother were Siamese twins, joined at the navel. Oh. What about their sister Paula Lorkenheimer? Sorry. She was eaten by cannibal Pygmies last April.
In 1957 Elvis Presley told the world that he was "All Shook Up." One year before his 1977 death, K.C. and the Sunshine Band (in 1976) told the world to "Shake Your *****" and one year after the 1977 death of Elvis, Peaches & Herb (in 1978) told the world to "Shake Your Groove Thing." Pray for Michael J. Fox.
Jan 8 · 55
MY FRIEND OPRAH
I'm so happy to be a rich communist. Today, I'll be shopping at a communist shop with my friend who's a communist. His name is Ivan and he loves communism a lot. Last week, during a communist holiday, he and I celebrated communism alone in our super-luxurious mansion with our friend Oprah Winfrey. She's a chubby black woman from the United States.
Jan 8 · 60
DECLARATION OF LOVE
Hello, I'm Fred Bitchman of Snow, Holiday and Bitchman here to wish you a joyful Kwanzaa like I'm Bill Cosby or Whoopi Goldberg having an asthma attack. Please accept this declaration of love or I'll **** you and grind your bones to make my bread after you're almost 100% dead and more brittle than an acid-washed skittle dissolved in the rotted corpse of Malcolm X. Little.
I'm 45 million dollars shy of raising 100 billion dollars! It's important that I reach my goal NOW!!! As of this hour I only have ninety-nine billion, nine hundred and fifty-five million American dollars. Time is short. Won't you please lend a helping hand? It's not just for me, it's to fight crippled children. Together, we can defeat them!
Bobby loved Mary since they were in an orphanage together run by their parents. Even when Mary was dying from a snake-bite Bobby was there eating pizza and smiling through his tears. One day, when it was raining hard, Mary got pregnant all of a sudden. Everyone at Pizza Hut (where she worked) was confused because someone had secretly put "confusion powder" in the pizza dough. Later, after the baby was born, Bobby went to Canada for 3 months to relax and do some swimming alone with his new girlfriend Claudette. Mary was devastated because of an incurable disease that robbed her of her mobility. All motor function was lost, and she couldn't even go to Pizza Hut without a fancy wheel-chair. By then she had gained considerable weight in her *** and was awarded ten million dollars by the *** Club because they loved her so much that they gave her a fortune (tax-free). Bobby found out and returned "to get in on the action" but it was too late because Mary had moved to Yugoslavia even though it was called something else by then. THE END!
I knew I had it till I lost it and found it before having a hemorrhagic stroke that could've killed an ordinary woman like nothing. Thank Jehovah or Jesus that I had a Bible tucked under my bra to stop the ex-Kmart manager's small caliber bullet. Things couldn't be rougher for certain people; certain people with mental problems that are easily remedied with a guillotine.
Jan 8 · 32
BRENDA'S JAP CAR
Brenda packed her Toyota Corolla's trunk with several grand pianos and nine riding lawn mowers. "There's not enough room for your Harley," she told her father whose look of disappointment was so sad that she had to put him in a nursing home immediately.
THE CIRCUS - Tammy's classical beauty made Tina & Tanya so jealous that each of them had several cosmetic surgeries to uplift their jowls and nether regions and *****. "I can't see the man getting hit by the cannon ball!" Tanya exclaimed in a panic at the circus that was being held to raise money to fight crippled children. "Your labial lips have been lifted too high," Tina replied.
The in-bed birth of Fred Buttsworth: Fred's dead I see at 93. He had
a wife in Australia who loved to dance until Fred took her from her
dad's frog farm in the God-forsaken reaches of V.D.-ridden France.
Frederick James Buttsworth (29 May 1927 – 12 May 2021) was an Australian rules footballer who played for West Perth in the Western Australian National Football League (WANFL) and briefly for Essendon in the Victorian Football League (VFL). He was the younger brother of footballer Wally Buttsworth.[2]
Unchain me Lord from these CHAINS OF WEAKNESS as
I soar higher than a ***** freed from the bonds of slavery
in Mississippi before camper toilets were invented.
Coddle my enemies Lord till I'm able to **** them.
No cars, commercial trucks, or auto parts were made from February 1942 to October 1945. On January 1, 1942, all sales of cars, as well as the delivery of cars to customers who had previously contracted for them, were frozen by the government's Office of Production Management.
She played Lenora in 𝑪𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒐𝒐 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝑪𝒉𝒐𝒐 𝑪𝒉𝒐𝒐
with the Three Stooges in 1952.
Patricia Wright
Born Patricia Wright Ellis
July 5, 1921 (age 103)
Washington, U.S.
Nationality American
Education Washington State University, UCLA
Occupation(s) Actress, weather presenter, dancer, commercial announcer, commercial spokeswoman
Years active 1950–1966 (as actress)
Jan 7 · 58
STELLA'S RECTUM
Bob & Marge loved Negroes a lot. They had trained a dozen for the Big Bob & Marge Carnival. Many dark mornings before dawn Bob could be heard yelling at them while fat Marge prepared carp & floor-sweepings for breakfast. “Hurry up Bob!” She'd yell like a crazy maniac and Bob would put down his whip and come a-runnin.' “You's so fine,” he'd say while grabbing a fistful of Marge's fragrant lard-***. Pretty Stella sat down because her moist Kotex slipped south. “**** you Bob,” she muttered as a dozen Negroes finished their breakfast of carp & floor-sweepings. “Quiet,” Bob whispered. “If Marge finds out about our secret love affair she'll **** all of my Negroes.” Stella smiled with such force that 3 of her shiny back teeth exploded. “Jesus H. Christ!” She exclaimed. “That really hurt me!” Bob giggled girlishly causing 10 million hormones to go bonkers. “Oh no!” He screamed. “I'm becoming a woman – a real one with a ***** and fallopian tubes and everything!” Later, after his hormones had stopped, Bob ate 2 full bowls of worm guts. I don't know why he did that. Marge sensed that Bob was having ****** retaliations with Stella a lot so she installed a hidden camera in Stella's ****** just in case. One night the moon was very romantic so Bob touched Stella's picturesque ****** romantically and suddenly Marge's voice came out of it. “I got you now Bob!” It said and Bob couldn't believe it. “Stella!” He said. “I just heard Marge's voice coming out of your ******!” Upon hearing it too Stella laughed, but cautiously because of her teeth. Suddenly there was a huge explosion at Texaco: several flaming homosexuals were killed in the men's room. Stella was saddened by the news and sought out Bob's totally-**** body for comfort. “Kiss me Bob hard,” she begged, but he was really extremely hesitant, not knowing which end of Stella was currently talking.
THE EXPECTED DEATH OF A CHIHUAHUA - Chico's internal dog molecules farted out at 7 o'clock. His life of being a living dog is over. His dog estate amounts to nothing. There will be no claims by interlopers or lost lovers or secret wives. Chico's in dog limbo where dead dogs are stored. Nobody on this side knows what's next.
𝗜 𝗽𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝘆 𝗻𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂
𝘀𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗲
𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗮 𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗹𝗲𝘀
𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀 𝗺𝘆 𝟯𝟲 𝗻𝗲𝗰𝗸-𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗲𝘀
Suzy Parker was an American model and actress active from 1947 until 1970. Her modeling career reached its zenith during the 1950s, when she appeared on the covers of dozens of magazines and in advertisements and movie and television roles. Wikipedia
Born: October 28, 1932, Long Island City, New York, NY
Died: May 3, 2003 (age 70 years), Montecito, CA
Height: 5′ 10″
Children: Georgia de la Salle, Dinah Dillman, Charles Dillman, Christopher Dillman
Spouse: Bradford Dillman (m. 1963–2003), Pierre de la Salle (m. 1958–1961), Charles Staton (m. 1950–1953)
Parents: Elizabeth Parker, George Parker
Are you an active woman? Yes, I am. How active? Really active. More active than Curly from the Three Stooges? A little bit. A little bit what? More active. Are you into arm wrestling. No. Me neither. How about miniature golf? No. You said you were active? I am, just not in the things you mentioned. Okay, fair enough. Have you ever seen a Walmart manager dig a tunnel under the garden department? No. Look! You claim to be an active woman! I am. When will Grainger stop pushing farm equipment parts on You Tube? Never!
Jan 7 · 55
Cool Lesbian Roast
What kind of coffee is this? It's Cool Lesbian Roast. I blended it myself. It's great. It's got a cool, lesbian-roasted quality to it. Thanks, I appreciate the compliment even though I'm not a lesbian. Well neither am I! Would you like another cup? I sure would! This is the greatest lesbian-blended coffee I've ever had and I ought to know, let me tell you! Hey, wait a minute! You said that you're not a lesbian! I'm not.
I don't know the difference between 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘺 and 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘥𝘺 and I don't know why what the temperature 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 is relevant to anyone. I told a gallon of milk that although the old fridge is forty-two degrees, it feels like thirty-four, but the milk wouldn't listen and curdled long before its expiration date. I'm done talking to milk. It was fun at first but now it just breaks my heart.
LEARNING WHAT REAL LOVE IS WITH MY UNCLE - My dad loved to build helicopters for desperately-poor people who couldn't afford more than 1 helicopter no matter how hard they worked. 1 day, as World War 13 was ending, father decided to **** everyone within a 4,000-mile radius of his helicopter factory. Mom was impressed. "Why don't you start off slowly by killing everyone within 2,500 miles and crippling everyone else until Jesus comes back to finish what you started?" She asked as her mini-skirt inched so far north that even hitch-hikers with poor vision could tell where her labial ***** were clawed raw from a polar bear fight that happened in eastern Canada 2 days before.
Yes my dearest Natashka, another full year of merciless beatings & deprivation has ended with 1 day off so that six of my more critical injuries can be medically mended. I'll need a blood transfusion plus
a leg splint, an upper torso cast & 8 pounds of ice & I'll need it fast.
My first kiss was at the zoo by a zoo employee with a hatchet: I felt unsocial & popular during the same minute. I wore out my welcome on the welcome mat twice. I knew that my legs were smooth for good reason as I stretched out length-ways & long-wise like a carp with a swollen mud vein. The moment that the bottom drops out of the plastic bucket market, I'm getting in to blow a fortune.
𝐊𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐘'𝐒 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 - Ken kept his used chemicals in used chemical tanks till **** Kelly showed him a better way. "Here," she motioned towards her *****, "is where the action is." Ken didn't know what to say because he thought that the first sentence coming after 𝑲𝒆𝒏 𝒌𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍 𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒔 𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒆𝒙𝒚 𝑲𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒅 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒂 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒂𝒚 would be about chemicals.
I'll choose a chewy Cuban ****** chaos for chewin' chewy carrots
with Castro's 1959 call for a cruel & cruddy Marxian vegetarianism
that'd be Cuba's revolutionary means to spoil Haitian egalitarianism.
Jan 6 · 67
"Untame the Tiger"
A song by Mary Timony

Wanna go where your animal runs free
I hear it call my name
What do I get from loving you?
Just this song about pain
And now I got a dragon in my mind and I'm
Still here in this space
All I ever do is talk to you and my imagination
Do you believe in a brighter day?
Well, I can't find my fate
I wanna know where this feeling goes
Don't wanna walk away
Vegetable-hating vegans love pagans & meat-eaters secrete beavers
& Yukio & Yoko Mishima beat to death with a bat old Tom Seavers
after he frittered away his ball-batting career as a raunchy, gay dude
to the tune of 4 original Beatles crooning the god-awful "Hey Jude."
Of course they don't call it "gay pride," unless they understand
English, otherwise they translate it into their language. It
all sounds boastful, except in Slavic countries where
nothing's been right since Marshall Tito croaked.
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