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Nov 10 · 50
KEITH URBAN
expressed an early interest in breast pumps while working at Dairy Queen. "My mother had ******* and she wasn't afraid to eat raw seafood. This tradition runs through my family like gonorrhea." Before fame hit, Keith, and his brother Pedro, spent nights chasing homosexuals into Texaco men's rooms and playing dominoes with their 400-pound uncle Hector. "Hector was not able to wipe thoroughly due to a lower-**** injury," Pedro recalled. "We had to hire Norwegian breast pump distributors on several occasions." Later, after Hector was killed by a Frisbee with a razor blade taped to it, the Urban brothers moved to Italy: a country where women are hairy but friendly.
Nov 10 · 40
HOLY COW!
It's Madonna! I can see her ***! Where?! Behind her! Oh yeah! I see it too! Her boyfriend says that she washes it every day with soap. What kind? Expensive soap from Turkey. They make it just for her ***. It has special ***-beautifying ingredients. Like what? Gerbil ***-hormones from Richard Gere's company. Wow! I wish I was Richard Gere! I'd be inserting a gerbil up my **** right now! Me too!
Nov 9 · 59
TURLOCK GNOMES
But Holmes, I'm afraid that we'll never get to the palace fast enough in this cab. Ah, fear not Watson for I have dropped tiny explosive bombs down the cabby's trousers; as each bomb detonates the cabby will be compelled to whip the horses with more vigor, thereby increasing the wagon's speed. Brilliant Holmes, brilliant.
James Bond never fought Godzilla before. He did defeat King Kong, but not Godzilla. This time it's personal! With the help of his good friend Tarzan, James Bond will meet Godzilla in Tokyo Bay for a deadly encounter that will go down in history as the most famous fight-to-the-death-match since Goliath & David duked it out on Mount Rushmore! Tickets are on sale now!
My chihuahua used to run like an antelope through mountain passes and climb like a goat up the steepest cliffs like it was nothing. We used to jump off tall bridges together and not get hurt and hop on trains going 40-miles-per-hour and laugh about it later over a pitcher of Mexican beer. Often, we'd attend funerals and volunteer for pallbearer duties after painting a huge church for free and then we'd go to Walmart and scream at crazy people for hours and hours. But now, my dog's elderly and awaiting death with dignity among dog-eating Haitians in Springfield, Ohio. Soon he'll be in Heaven with Jesus forever probably unless God finds out that my little chihuahua Chico is a suspect in 78 murders.
Nov 8 · 26
Viet Cong
SEE WHAT REAL MEN ARE MADE OF at the autopsy exhibit. Food, fun and beer-swigging for all ticket-holders! Don't sit in the rain when you can be enjoying family-friendly Viet Cong-style executions! **** a ****** for mommy while large badgers claw at your entrails! Deep-throat a "big one" in a bread truck! ***** mysterious women with no clothes on! It's all for charity: Saint Jude's Cancer Torture Hospital!
Another full shift of doin' **** 'cause people don't read useless
government-bought books. Lard-*** librarians by the thousands
watch in amazement as their ***** expand little-by-little till
Doomsday, Armageddon, the Apocalypse or Judgement Day.
Martha was very respectful of Tanya's father because he was pope. She would never call him a bad name or throw skittles at him when he was on the toilet. Every day she'd say: "Hey pope!" or "Howdy pope!" or "How's it hangin' pope?!" Indeed, because of this respectfulness, Tanya loved Martha more than she loved her brother who was married to a 1-legged, ex-lesbian from Pakistan.
We used busted banjos as surf boards to surf to safety after our boat sank in Hawaii 4 miles from Pygmy City. I had an asthma attack before strangling 5 dozen blue whales with my bare hands. We're going to be dining on whale liver for 10 years! Police men are **** when they're women pretending to be men: rolling in pig-****; eating lunch on balconies; plugging their butts with gerbils. Obesity is bad for fat people because they are already fat and they shouldn't have to deal with obesity on top of that. What have I learned as a gynecologist? Many things. Gynecology isn't just for dentists who like women. It's for men who enjoy big-game fishing and bowling-pin setting. It's for ex-lesbians with bullet scars on their butts. It's for Dairy Queen executives with syphilis. It's better than living in Pygmy City, but not as nice as having a neighbor who worships you like you're Jesus.
Gynecology is no laughing matter! Back to the **** heap...
A wrong turn might drop you into the lap of The Full
Moon School of Gynecological Enthusiasts...

Gamma gauze tape pads stitches, sutures & staples & blocks yeast,
while nourishing the gloom of Austrian weather enjoyed to my east
where-from nobody is availed to rent land that is better let unleased
to slanderers foundered in the romance of 2 smooth bowels creased
obstructively for a slattern nun & Bible-rebuffing, monsignor priest
whose thongs bunch doing jumping jacks as *** hems are released
that can't be knitted, established, corporated, sewn or puzzle-pieced
Nov 8 · 37
LESBIAN CAR WASH
Daddy, can we go to the new lesbian car wash? Sure. Where is it? Across from the old lesbian car wash. At the new one, trained lesbians will lick our car clean. I find that hard to believe. Well, I lied about them being trained but they will lick our car.
Nov 8 · 90
U.S. SUPREME COURT
No License Necessary

Americas Assembly - Blogs

March 7, 2022

U.S. SUPREME COURT AND OTHER HIGH COURT CITATIONS PROVING THAT NO LICENSE IS NECESSARYย ย 

โ€œThe right of a citizen to travel upon the public highways and to transport his property thereon, by horsedrawn carriage, wagon, or automobile, is not a mere privilege which may be permitted or prohibited at will, but a common right which he has under his right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Under this constitutional guaranty one may, therefore, under normal conditions, travel at his inclination along the public highways or in public places, and while conducting himself in an orderly and decent manner, neither interfering with nor disturbing anotherโ€™s rights, he will be protected, not only in his person, but in his safe conduct.โ€

Thompson v.Smith, 154 SE 579, 11 American Jurisprudence, Constitutional Law, section 329, page 1135 โ€œThe right of the Citizen to travel upon the public highways and to transport his property thereon, in the ordinary course of life and business, is a common right which he has under the right to enjoy life and liberty, to acquire and possess property, and to pursue happiness and safety. It includes the right, in so doing, to use the ordinary and usual conveyances of the day, and under the existing modes of travel, includes the right to drive a horse drawn carriage or wagon thereon or to operate an automobile thereon, for the usual and ordinary purpose of life and business.โ€

Thompson vs. Smith, supra.; Teche Lines vs. Danforth, Miss., 12 S.2d 784 โ€œโ€ฆ the right of the citizen to drive on a public street with freedom from police interferenceโ€ฆ is a fundamental constitutional rightโ€ -

White, 97 Cal.App.3d.141, 158 Cal.Rptr. 562, 566-67 (1979) โ€œcitizens have a right to drive upon the public streets of the District of Columbia or any other city absent a constitutionally sound reason for limiting their access.โ€

Caneisha Mills v. D.C. 2009 โ€œThe use of the automobile as a necessary adjunct to the earning of a livelihood in modern life requires us in the interest of realism to conclude that the RIGHT to use an automobile on the public highways partakes of the nature of a liberty within the meaning of the Constitutional guarantees. . .โ€

Berberian v. Lussier (1958) 139 A2d 869, 872, See also: Schecter v. Killingsworth, 380 P.2d 136, 140; 93 Ariz. 273 (1963). โ€œThe right to operate a motor vehicle [an automobile] upon the public streets and highways is not a mere privilege. It is a right of liberty, the enjoyment of which is protected by the guarantees of the federal and state constitutions.โ€

Adams v. City of Pocatello, 416 P.2d 46, 48; 91 Idaho 99 (1966). โ€œA traveler has an equal right to employ an automobile as a means of transportation and to occupy the public highways with other vehicles in common use.โ€

Campbell v. Walker, 78 Atl. 601, 603, 2 Boyce (Del.) 41. โ€œThe owner of an automobile has the same right as the owner of other vehicles to use the highway,* * * A traveler on foot has the same right to the use of the public highways as an automobile or any other vehicle.โ€

Simeone v. Lindsay, 65 Atl. 778, 779; Hannigan v. Wright, 63 Atl. 234, 236. โ€œThe RIGHT of the citizen to DRIVE on the public street with freedom from police interference, unless he is engaged in suspicious conduct associated in some manner with criminality is a FUNDAMENTAL CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT which must be protected by the courts.โ€

People v. Horton 14 Cal. App. 3rd 667 (1971) โ€œThe right to make use of an automobile as a vehicle of travel long the highways of the state, is no longer an open question. The owners thereof have the same rights in the roads and streets as the drivers of horses or those riding a bicycle or traveling in some other vehicle.โ€

House v. Cramer, 112 N.W. 3; 134 Iowa 374; Farnsworth v. Tampa Electric Co. 57 So. 233, 237, 62 Fla. 166. โ€œThe automobile may be used with safety to others users of the highway, and in its proper use upon the highways there is an equal right with the users of other vehicles properly upon the highways. The law recognizes such right of use upon general principles.

Brinkman v Pacholike, 84 N.E. 762, 764, 41 Ind. App. 662, 666. โ€œThe law does not denounce motor carriages, as such, on public ways. They have an equal right with other vehicles in common use to occupy the streets and roads. It is improper to say that the driver of the horse has rights in the roads superior to the driver of the automobile. Both have the right to use the easement.โ€

Indiana Springs Co. v. Brown, 165 Ind. 465, 468. U.S. Supreme Court says No License Necessary To Drive Automobile On Public Highways/Streets No License Is Necessary Copy and Share Freely YHVH.name 2 2 โ€œA highway is a public way open and free to any one who has occasion to pass along it on foot or with any kind of vehicle.โ€ Schlesinger v. City of Atlanta, 129 S.E. 861, 867, 161 Ga. 148, 159;

Holland v. Shackelford, 137 S.E. 2d 298, 304, 220 Ga. 104; Stavola v. Palmer, 73 A.2d 831, 838, 136 Conn. 670 โ€œThere can be no question of the right of automobile owners to occupy and use the public streets of cities, or highways in the rural districts.โ€

Liebrecht v. Crandall, 126 N.W. 69, 110 Minn. 454, 456 โ€œThe word โ€˜automobileโ€™ connotes a pleasure vehicle designed for the transportation of persons on highways.โ€

American Mutual Liability Ins. Co., vs. Chaput, 60 A.2d 118, 120; 95 NH 200 Motor Vehicle: 18 USC Part 1 Chapter 2 section 31 definitions: โ€œ(6) Motor vehicle. โ€“ The term โ€œmotor vehicleโ€ means every description of carriage or other contrivance propelled or drawn by mechanical power and used for commercial purposes on the highwaysโ€ฆโ€ 10) The term โ€œused for commercial purposesโ€ means the carriage of persons or property for any fare, fee, rate, charge or other consideration, or directly or indirectly in connection with any business, or other undertaking intended for profit. โ€œA motor vehicle or automobile for hire is a motor vehicle, other than an automobile stage, used for the transportation of persons for which remuneration is received.โ€

International Motor Transit Co. vs. Seattle, 251 P. 120 The term โ€˜motor vehicleโ€™ is different and broader than the word โ€˜automobile.โ€™โ€

City of Dayton vs. DeBrosse, 23 NE.2d 647, 650; 62 Ohio App. 232 โ€œThus self-driven vehicles are classified according to the use to which they are put rather than according to the means by which they are propelledโ€ โ€“ Ex Parte Hoffert, 148 NW 20 โ€

The Supreme Court, in Arthur v. Morgan, 112 U.S. 495, 5 S.Ct. 241, 28 L.Ed. 825, held that carriages were properly classified as household effects, and we see no reason that automobiles should not be similarly disposed of.โ€

Hillhouse v United States, 152 F. 163, 164 (2nd Cir. 1907). โ€œโ€ฆa citizen has the right to travel upon the public highways and to transport his property thereonโ€ฆโ€

State vs. Johnson, 243 P. 1073; Cummins vs. Homes, 155 P. 171; Packard vs. Banton, 44 S.Ct. 256; Hadfield vs. Lundin, 98 Wash 516, Willis vs. Buck, 263 P. l 982;

Barney vs. Board of Railroad Commissioners, 17 P.2d 82 โ€œThe use of the highways for the purpose of travel and transportation is not a mere privilege, but a common and fundamental Right of which the public and the individual cannot be rightfully deprived.โ€

Chicago Motor Coach vs. Chicago, 169 NE 22; Ligare vs. Chicago, 28 NE 934; Boon vs. Clark, 214 SSW 607; 25 Am.Jur. (1st) Highways Sect.163 โ€œthe right of the Citizen to travel upon the highway and to transport his property thereon in the ordinary course of life and businessโ€ฆ is the usual and ordinary right of the Citizen, a right common to all.โ€ โ€“

Ex Parte Dickey, (Dickey vs. Davis), 85 SE 781 โ€œEvery Citizen has an unalienable RIGHT to make use of the public highways of the state; every Citizen has full freedom to travel from place to place in the enjoyment of life and liberty.โ€
People v. Nothaus, 147 Colo. 210. โ€œNo State government entity has the power to allow or deny passage on the highways, byways, nor waterwaysโ€ฆ transporting his vehicles and personal property for either recreation or business, but by being subject only to local regulation i.e., safety, caution, traffic lights, speed limits, etc. Travel is not a privilege requiring licensing, vehicle registration, or forced insurances.โ€

Chicago Coach Co. v. City of Chicago, 337 Ill. 200, 169 N.E. 22. โ€œTraffic infractions are not a crime.โ€

People v. Battle โ€œPersons faced with an unconstitutional licensing law which purports to require a license as a prerequisite to exercise of rightโ€ฆ may ignore the law and engage with impunity in exercise of such right.โ€

Shuttlesworth v. Birmingham 394 U.S. 147 (1969). U.S. Supreme Court says No License Necessary To Drive Automobile On Public Highways/Streets No License Is Necessary Copy and Share Freely YHVH.name 3 โ€œThe word โ€˜operatorโ€™ shall not include any person who solely transports his own property and who transports no persons or property for hire or compensation.โ€

Statutes at Large California Chapter 412 p.83 โ€œHighways are for the use of the traveling public, and all have the right to use them in a reasonable and proper manner; the use thereof is an inalienable right of every citizen.โ€ Escobedo v. State 35 C2d 870 in 8 Cal Jur 3d p.27 โ€œRIGHT โ€” A legal RIGHT, a constitutional RIGHT means a RIGHT protected by the law, by the constitution, but government does not create the idea of RIGHT or original RIGHTS; it acknowledges them. . . โ€œ Bouvierโ€™s Law Dictionary, 1914, p. 2961. โ€œThose who have the right to do something cannot be licensed for what they already have right to do as such license would be meaningless.โ€

City of Chicago v Collins 51 NE 907, 910. โ€œA license means leave to do a thing which the licensor could prevent.โ€

Blatz Brewing Co. v. Collins, 160 P.2d 37, 39; 69 Cal. A. 2d 639. โ€œThe object of a license is to confer a right or power, which does not exist without it.โ€

Payne v. Massey (19__) 196 SW 2nd 493, 145 Tex 273. โ€œThe court makes it clear that a license relates to qualifications to engage in profession, business, trade or calling; thus, when merely traveling without compensation or profit, outside of business enterprise or adventure with the corporate state, no license is required of the natural individual traveling for personal business, pleasure and transportation.โ€

Wingfield v. Fielder 2d Ca. 3d 213 (1972). โ€œIf [state] officials construe a vague statute unconstitutionally, the citizen may take them at their word, and act on the assumption that the statute is void.โ€ โ€“

Shuttlesworth v. Birmingham 394 U.S. 147 (1969). โ€œWith regard particularly to the U.S. Constitution, it is elementary that a Right secured or protected by that document cannot be overthrown or impaired by any state police authority.โ€

Donnolly vs. Union Sewer Pipe Co., 184 US 540; Lafarier vs. Grand Trunk R.R. Co., 24 A. 848; Oโ€™Neil vs. Providence Amusement Co., 108 A. 887. โ€œThe right to travel (called the right of free ingress to other states, and egress from them) is so fundamental that it appears in the Articles of Confederation, which governed our society before the Constitution.โ€

(Paul v. Virginia). โ€œ[T]he right to travel freely from State to State โ€ฆ is a right broadly assertable against private interference as well as governmental action. Like the right of association, it is a virtually unconditional personal right, guaranteed by the Constitution to us all.โ€ (U.S. Supreme Court,

Shapiro v. Thompson). EDGERTON, Chief Judge: โ€œIron curtains have no place in a free world. โ€ฆโ€™Undoubtedly the right of locomotion, the right to remove from one place to another according to inclination, is an attribute of personal liberty, and the right, ordinarily, of free transit from or through the territory of any State is a right secured by the Constitution.โ€™

Williams v. Fears, 179 U.S. 270, 274, 21 S.Ct. 128, 45 L.Ed. 186. โ€œOur nation has thrived on the principle that, outside areas of plainly harmful conduct, every American is left to shape his own life as he thinks best, do what he pleases, go where he pleases.โ€ Id., at 197.

Kent vs. Dulles see Vestal, Freedom of Movement, 41 Iowa L.Rev. 6, 13โ€”14. โ€œThe validity of restrictions on the freedom of movement of particular individuals, both substantively and procedurally, is precisely the sort of matter that is the peculiar domain of the courts.โ€ Comment, 61 Yale L.J. at page 187. โ€œa person detained for an investigatory stop can be questioned but is โ€œnot obliged to answer, answers may not be compelled, and refusal to answer furnishes no basis for an arrest.โ€Justice White, Hiibel โ€œAutomobiles have the right to use the highways of the State on an equal footing with other vehicles.โ€

Cumberland Telephone. & Telegraph Co. v Yeiser 141 Kentucy 15. โ€œEach citizen has the absolute right to choose for himself the mode of conveyance he desires, whether it be by wagon or carriage, by horse, motor or electric car, or by bicycle, or astride of a horse, subject to the sole condition that he will observe all those requirements that are known as the law of the road.โ€

Swift v City of Topeka, 43 U.S. Supreme Court says No License Necessary To Drive Automobile On Public Highways/Streets No License Is Necessary Copy and Share Freely YHVH.name 4 Kansas 671, 674. The Supreme Court said in U.S. v Mersky (1960) 361 U.S. 431: An administrative regulation, of course, is not a โ€œstatute.โ€ A traveler on foot has the same right to use of the public highway as an automobile or any other vehicle.

Cecchi v. Lindsay, 75 Atl. 376, 377, 1 Boyce (Del.) 185. Automotive vehicles are lawful means of conveyance and have equal rights upon the streets with horses and carriages.

Chicago Coach Co. v. City of Chicago, 337 Ill. 200, 205; See also: Christy v. Elliot, 216 Ill. 31; Ward v. Meredith, 202 Ill. 66; Shinkle v. McCullough, 116 Ky. 960; Butler v. Cabe, 116 Ark. 26, 28-29. โ€ฆautomobiles are lawful vehicles and have equal rights on the highways with horses and carriages. Daily v. Maxwell, 133 S.W. 351, 354.

Matson v. Dawson, 178 N.W. 2d 588, 591. A farmer has the same right to the use of the highways of the state, whether on foot or in a motor vehicle, as any other citizen.

Draffin v. Massey, 92 S.E.2d 38, 42. Persons may lawfully ride in automobiles, as they may lawfully ride on bicycles. Doherty v. Ayer, 83 N.E. 677, 197 Mass. 241, 246;

Molway v. City of Chicago, 88 N.E. 485, 486, 239 Ill. 486; Smiley v. East St. Louis Ry. Co., 100 N.E. 157, 158. โ€œA soldierโ€™s personal automobile is part of his โ€˜household goods[.]โ€™

U.S. v Bomar, C.A.5(Tex.), 8 F.3d 226, 235โ€ 19A Words and Phrases โ€“ Permanent Edition (West) pocket part 94. โ€œ[I]t is a jury question whether โ€ฆ an automobile โ€ฆ is a motor vehicle[.]โ€

United States v Johnson, 718 F.2d 1317, 1324 (5th Cir. 1983). Other right to use an automobile cases: โ€“

EDWARDS VS. CALIFORNIA, 314 U.S. 160 โ€“

TWINING VS NEW JERSEY, 211 U.S. 78 โ€“ WILLIAMS VS. FEARS, 179 U.S. 270, AT 274 โ€“ CRANDALL VS. NEVADA, 6 WALL. 35, AT 43-44 โ€“ THE PASSENGER CASES, 7 HOWARD 287, AT 492 โ€“ U.S. VS. GUEST, 383 U.S. 745, AT 757-758 (1966) โ€“

GRIFFIN VS. BRECKENRIDGE, 403 U.S. 88, AT 105-106 (1971) โ€“ CALIFANO VS. TORRES, 435 U.S. 1, AT 4, note 6 โ€“

SHAPIRO VS. THOMPSON, 394 U.S. 618 (1969) โ€“ CALIFANO VS. AZNAVORIAN, 439 U.S. 170, AT 176 (1978) Look the above citations up in American Jurisprudence. Some citations may be paraphrased.
Nov 8 · 35
A FOREIGN TRAGEDY
Carlos was a chinless, mealy-mouthed, thin-lipped lawn mower mechanic who enjoyed looking out windows and throwing rocks at ex-lesbians. "Someday I will go to America and fix lawn mowers for lots of money," he said in a foreign language to his cousin who was a foreign-language speaker. Several years after that he was killed by a Mack truck going 85-miles-per-hour. The End.
Tammy had hosted 256 Tupperware parties, all were deadly, but this one was terrifying. There were internal organs draped over the curtain rods, a bath tub full of fingers & toes, floors knee-deep in lymph fluid. Tammy told the survivors: โ€œIโ€™m sorry that there was so much barbaric brutality at my party. I promise that the next one will be much nicer with fewer decapitations & stabbings.โ€
Little Tyrone picked up a beer bottle and hid it down his pants (for later). He lived with Jamaal (his number 1 homie) in a cardboard box behind a burned-out Kmart. One day they would get a better cardboard box and live like African kings. "Let's rob a ***** tonight," Jamaal suggested. "We could get enough money to vacation in Switzerland after buying a couple of new helicopters," Tyrone added. Suddenly a few cops came out of the bushes, gay cops who were doing gay things. Tyrone was scared. "We're never going to get new helicopters now," he whispered to Jamaal.
Nov 8 · 42
Investopedia
At $305 billion, the Al Nahyan familyโ€”oil tycoons, politicians, and royaltyโ€”is the richest family in the world.

The Waltons are the second richest family in the world with a fortune estimated at $259.7 billion thanks to their massive stake in Walmart (and only recently, in 2023, were usurped by the Al Nahyan family for the top spot.)

The Hermรจs familyโ€”purveyors of scarves, neckties, perfumes, and handbagsโ€”is the third-richest family in the world at $150.9 billion.

The fourth generation of the Mars familyโ€”the fourth-wealthiest family, with a fortune worth $160 billionโ€”currently runs the eponymously named Mars candy company.
All Floridians have experienced the horror of witnessing piles of dead neighbors killed by hurricanes accumulating on top of storm-drain grates only to see gangs of blood-thirsty alligators rip the corpses to pieces. It's a rite of passage. One story that tugged at my heart strings was that of Judy Martin, a fat teen with nothing to live for. It was a steamy-hot day as another mega-deadly hurricane sped towards Florida. "Hide Judy!" Her mother screamed as an alligator plucked her off the toilet. Later, after Judy was dug out from 900 tons of hurricane rubble, several deadly snakes bit her while she ate a doughnut. Fortunately, she's okay.
Nov 8 · 146
Jacqueline Mars
is an American heiress and investor. She is the daughter of Audrey Ruth and Forrest Mars, Sr., and the granddaughter of Frank C. Mars, founders of the American candy company Mars, Incorporated.

Wikipedia
Born: 1939 (age 85 years), United Kingdom
Net worth: 46.8 billion USD (2024) Forbes
Nov 8 · 27
โ€œherโ€
Johnny & Gilbert desperately & secretly sought ***-change surgery to surprise each other. Friday Johnny (now known as Minnie) entered Gilbert's bedroom. โ€œLook at me Gilly! I'm a real woman now!โ€ Minnie exclaimed effeminately. โ€œMe too!โ€ Said Gil (now known as Pearl). โ€œLet's have several dozen tons of lesbian-conceived babies through superficially **** *****-to-***** ******* & transfer!โ€ Pearl proposed enthusiastically. โ€œHey guy, that sounds like a mega-reasonable plan to me,โ€ Minnie replied as โ€œherโ€ wet girly ***** glistened like a ton of newly-fallen snow on a pink **** sports car.
Nov 7 · 27
BOWLING WITH ELVIS
Despite what historians write, Elvis did not record a cheerful album of songs to honor his grandmother who was eaten by cannibals in 1940. "She was a delicious woman with huge knockers," he said at a cannibal convention in 1962. Later, after the drugs wore off, Elvis realized his mistake and killed 4 people with a machete in a bowling alley.
It's clogging my sink pipe. I can't ease my firm *******
into this rubber thing. I'll never be able to do it with
my aunt in the attic, as long as I'm crippled by guilt.
My dog begs to everyone with a colon of dog-**** ******* his fleas
in 1 lackadaisical scheme, movementally-frozen in runny ice cream.
He's got a torted bone in him, that's why he's distorted; why mamas
go crazy when babies are aborted; why Billy didn't inhale what was
easily snorted; why revenge is a dream of Iraqi men water-boarded.
I thrill the Pinay natives with manly acts that are horrific yet sordid,
as they include insect thoraxes, coke smoke & floral patterns florid.
As a drunken wife hires her husband to **** a hit-man, I cram Kotex
tampons into my virtual ***** like I got an inflamed prostate gland.
When big ******* attack small *******, medium-sized ******* must
intervene, to help ******* of all sizes & mulatta ******* in-between.
My aluminum ladder is so shaky since I set it on pine-wood blocks.
I better get someone steady to steady it; somebody steadier than old
T.V. mummer, actor & Parkinson's disease-sufferer Michael J. Fox.
God's King of Brutality is back with a colon of indignity & a wheel
made of Paraguayan rubber & Fred MacMurray forkin' flubber. For
fun & functionality, I eat pebbles to facilitate the inner grindings of
my chicky gizzard while fans wonder if **** knew what Liz heard.
Barack better bi-pedal his bias, non-binary bi-*** on a Bison bike to
Bungoma before Banshee ******* bind backward both broken *****.
In our gay-marriage nation, we witness gaseous iodine sublimation,
that lulls scrotal ropes & bowel ducts to afford a surfeited satiation.
I fixed blood-fixated Oprah's little, red wagon from the acid-burned
darker end underneath, after she conceded that critters with tongues
don't have sharp teeth. I slapped the smirk from her evil face before
she bleached 23 shades closer to a whiter race. Earth-cored Negroid
love originates in Liberia, from Liberian neo-pink ****** hysteria.
Quack quack! American doctoring is the 3rd-leading cause of death
in the United States, after 8 **** complaints that hazy Oprah hates.
Nov 7 · 151
LUNCH-DATE IN ALBANIA
Clara could hardly face Steve again because of what happened in Albania when they were dating. "It was your idea to fly to Albania for lunch last August!" Clara exclaimed in her defense while Steve picked his nose with a pencil. "That's another thing!" She yelled in a high voice that totally perplexed Steve in a confusing way.
Nov 6 · 44
34 billion candles
I'm totally lost in a fantasy world of your eternal love. Your kiss-
es are like soft rays of moon light illuminating my ****** in a
bowling alley. Your precious smile is brighter than 34 billion
candles on the bottom of Lake Erie 3 days after Halloween.
OUR **** HAWAIIAN ADVENTURE - We used busted banjos as surf boards to surf to safety after our boat sank in Hawaii 4 miles from Pygmy City. I had an asthma attack before strangling 5 dozen blue whales with my bare hands. We're going to be dining on whale liver for 10 years! Police men are **** when they're women pretending to be men: rolling in pig-****; eating lunch on balconies; plugging their butts with gerbils. Obesity is bad for fat people because they are already fat and they shouldn't have to deal with obesity on top of that. What have I learned as a gynecologist? Many things. Gynecology isn't just for dentists who like women. It's for men who enjoy big-game fishing and bowling-pin setting. It's for ex-lesbians with bullet scars on their butts. It's for Dairy Queen executives with syphilis. It's better than living in Pygmy City, but not as nice as having a neighbor who worships you like you're Jesus.
Nov 6 · 31
trothplights
new man flights
human rights
chew lawn nights
shoe gone fights
stew fawn bites
true trothplights


Trothplight is an archaic word that means an engagement to be married or betrothal. It can also be used as a verb to mean to betroth, or as an adjective to mean betrothed. The word is a compound of the words troth and plight

Troth: Means faithfulness, truth, or promise. It also comes from a root meaning "firmness"

Plight means pledge
Nov 6 · 43
QUESTIONING GAIETY
Why do gay people crave homosex so much? Why do homosexuals wear tight jeans and then bend over a lot in front of normal people in the breakfast cereal aisle at Sam's Club? What's up with that?
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A 15,000-year-old Kmart has been found under Walmart! It was a big surprise to Walmart's assistant garden department manager when he was taking a *** behind the dumpster and found portions of an ancient Kmart receipt poking up through the weeds. "I was just bleeding my lizard and all of a sudden I see a piece of paper from Kmart that was dated June 6 fifteen thousand years ago! I called my boyfriend over, who's a homosexual, and he verified what I just said and then we made passionate love in a greasy puddle for 10 minutes."
ษช แดกแด€๊œฑ แด„แดษด๊œฐแดœ๊œฑแด‡แด… แดกสœแด‡ษด ษช แดกแดแด‹แด‡ แดœแด˜ ษชษด แด€ แด„แดแดแด€
โ–Œโ”‚โ–ˆโ–Œโ”‚โ–ˆโ•‘โ–Œโ•‘โ–Œโ•‘โ•‘โ–Œโ•‘โ–Œโ•‘โ–Œโ”‚โ–ˆโ•‘โ–Œโ•‘โ–Œโ•‘โ–Œโ”‚โ–ˆโ•‘โ–Œโ•‘โ–Œโ•‘
๐๐„๐†๐†๐˜ ๐€๐’๐‡๐‚๐‘๐Ž๐…๐“ {๐ง๐จ ๐ซ๐ž๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐œ๐ก๐š๐ซ๐ฅ๐š๐ญ๐š๐ง} ๐ง๐ฎ๐ณ๐ณ๐ฅ๐ž๐ ๐–๐ข๐ฅ๐›๐ฎ๐ซ ๐‚๐ก๐ข๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ. ๐“๐ก๐ž๐ข๐ซ ๐›๐ฎ๐๐๐ข๐ง๐  ๐Ÿ๐ซ๐ข๐ž๐ง๐๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐ก๐š๐ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐š๐ซ๐ญ๐ž๐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ž๐ง ๐Œ๐š๐ซ๐ ๐š๐ซ๐ž๐ญ'๐ฌ ๐›๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ž๐ซ๐ž ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐›๐ฎ๐๐๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฌ๐ญ๐š๐ ๐ž. ๐–๐ข๐ฅ๐›๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐จ๐Ÿ๐ญ๐ž๐ง ๐œ๐จ๐๐๐ฅ๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฆ ๐›๐ž๐ญ๐ฐ๐ž๐ž๐ง ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ž๐ง ๐ก๐จ๐œ๐ค๐ฌ. ๐๐ž๐  ๐ง๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ ๐ฆ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ž๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ก๐ž ๐ฉ๐ซ๐ž๐Ÿ๐ž๐ซ๐ซ๐ž๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐š๐ง๐ฒ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ๐š๐ซ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ {๐จ๐ซ ๐™›๐™–๐™ง๐™ข๐™š๐™ง๐™จ ๐š๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐  ๐ก๐š๐ฏ๐ž ๐ฆ๐š๐๐ž ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐ฌ๐ž๐ง๐ฌ๐ž} ๐š๐ง๐, ๐š๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ก๐ž ๐๐ข๐๐ง'๐ญ ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ ๐š๐ง๐ฒ, ๐ข๐ญ ๐๐ข๐๐ง'๐ญ ๐ฆ๐š๐ญ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ.
Nov 6 · 50
โ€œ๐—ก๐—ผ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฎ๐—ฝ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜€ ๐—บ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ผ๐˜€๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ผ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ต๐˜‚๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—ณ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—ฟ๐˜€ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ฎ ๐—ฝ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—ฒ๐˜†๐—ฒ, ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ต ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜† ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ด๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—ฏ๐˜† ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐˜„.โ€ โ€” ๐——๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ฑ ๐—›๐˜‚๐—บ๐—ฒ, ๐™๐™ž๐™ง๐™จ๐™ฉ ๐™‹๐™ง๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™˜๐™ž๐™ฅ๐™ก๐™š๐™จ ๐™ค๐™› ๐™‚๐™ค๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™ฃ๐™ข๐™š๐™ฃ๐™ฉ
โ€œ๐—ก๐—ผ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฎ๐—ฝ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜€ ๐—บ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ผ๐˜€๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ผ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ต๐˜‚๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—ณ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—ฟ๐˜€ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ฎ ๐—ฝ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—ฒ๐˜†๐—ฒ, ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ต ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜† ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ด๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—ฏ๐˜† ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐˜„.โ€ โ€” ๐——๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ฑ ๐—›๐˜‚๐—บ๐—ฒ, ๐™๐™ž๐™ง๐™จ๐™ฉ ๐™‹๐™ง๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™˜๐™ž๐™ฅ๐™ก๐™š๐™จ ๐™ค๐™› ๐™‚๐™ค๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™ฃ๐™ข๐™š๐™ฃ๐™ฉ

Gloria set her jugs on the counter-top while Tracy played hide-the-muffin like a good little girl. โ€œWhere are my tweezers?โ€ Baynard asked. โ€œI'm gay and I need them.โ€ Just then Captain Foster walked in. He had been at sea for 3 weeks. โ€œKiss me!โ€ He demanded, followed by the sea-horn effect that made Chelsea cringe. โ€œOh, hi Dad,โ€ she said painfully, as her ****** still stung from the hornet sting. โ€œWhy were you running bottomless through farmer Watson's meadow?โ€ Bay asked. โ€œI told you,โ€ Chelsea whispered devilishly, โ€œI was chasing an Irish fairy.โ€ Suddenly there was a loud rhythmic banging coming from the apartment upstairs. โ€œIt sounds like the gay swingers are having an **** again,โ€ the Captain said as his bell bottom trousers slipped to the floor. โ€œWho wants to play Toni Tennille?โ€ He asked brazenly.
Nov 5 · 36
Davy Crockett
BREAKFAST WITH JACK THE RIPPER'S GRANDMOTHER at McDonald's. Pass the McGopher toes you fat rat-bag or I'll cut you! Cut you up really good! Oh, yeah?! Where's your knife tough guy?!

THE PASSIONATE ARMS OF A FILTHY MEXICAN bore down on bold Davy Crockett as he fought 16 greasy greasers to the death: mercilessly stabbing them 1 after another in the middle of the neck!
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