I'm sorry but your mother's dead. The molecules that held her together uncoupled! May I see her? No. She was fed to alligators an hour ago. Does Dad know? I thought he was dead? He is but I'm going to hold a séance to break the news gently to him. Oh, here's my sister Irene. Irene, Mom has crapped out. Her molecules have come apart. Jesus! Does Dad know? Not yet. We should hold a séance to tell him. Yes, that's what I was thinking.

THE PERVERTS OF PENNSYLVANIA -- What happened? Hock Rudson tried to give me a big kiss. So? He's infected with death. Oh no! Oh yes! Darlene **** ****** & Philip Rudd Craft were to be married on Cape Cod in the spring. Everyone was so happy & pleased by the prospect of having Darlene as a daughter-in-law. "Kiss me Darlene," young Patrick Bowel Tender said as he puckered up for a "**** one." Just 56 short years later Pat would be crushed to death in an avalanche. His **** body was eventually eaten by 3 **** polar bears.

𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗯𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗿𝗼𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗼𝗳𝗳 𝗺𝗲, 𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗮 𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝗥𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘁'𝘀 𝗡𝗲𝘄
𝗗𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗱𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝟭𝟵𝟯𝟱'𝘀 𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻-𝗲𝗿𝗮, 𝗵𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿-𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗻
𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗽𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗮𝗻𝘁-𝗰𝗵𝗲𝘄𝗶𝗻,' 𝗖.𝗜.𝗔. 𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗼𝘁 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗴𝘆 𝗦𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿.