A MOUNTAIN OF DREAMS - After utilizing a Russian ******* amputation kit, my ex-boyfriend Edward climbed the tallest mountain in Ohio with his ex-homosexual pal Marvin, whose testicles had been chewed off by a rabid antelope when he was 37. The weather was nice till a horrifying snow storm rolled in. "My testicles are freezing!" Ed exclaimed to the amazement of Marvin who didn't have any testicles either. Later, after consummating their mountainous friendship, God killed both of them.