Tanya's tiny bone structure was great for hiding between sacks of flour at her uncle's waffle restaurant. One day, while her uncle was having a convulsion, Tanya trimmed her toe nails with a waffle-cutting knife. She looked fabulous! Tony, a local wino, noticed immediately and asked Tanya what her secret was. "Total abstinence from sexlessness," she answered while large portions of her ***** tingled, along with 1 ***** (the right one was paralyzed from a yacht-racing accident when she was 19).

Florida is a death-trap! Last year a hurricane swept through killing almost everybody. The few survivors clawed their way from under piles of dead bodies to crawl to the flooded streets where alligators were waiting to eat them. One man valiantly fought back to no avail. Several days later he was excreted as alligator **** from the dank bowels of these Satanic butchering machines.

"One ****** butter and deli sandwich please," Tammy ordered at the window. "Right away," Lynn said, a moment before ripping her pet ******'s chest open with a machete. "The people who run this place are violent," John commented, just before ordering a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich. "I know that's right," young Tyrone agreed a week after escaping from jail.