WHY DID JOHN LENNON HATE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES SO MUCH? John Lennon was a complex man who enjoyed Japanese women and writing catchy songs for the Beatles. One day, in 1977, a young Jehovah's Witness approached him with a bag of money. Lennon grabbed the money and ran off into the night, never to be seen again. Three years later Yoko Ono (his wife) found him in Afghanistan living in a van down by the river. John was adamant about remaining where he was and threw raw carp at Yoko until she was covered by so many that her tail fins became inflamed. Emergency carp-woman surgery was performed, and her back legs were shortened. After 3 weeks she was in the water again, swimming with several dozen Japanese carp sisters. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, young Julian F. Lennon, Junior was infecting himself with genital ****** for some reason. Yoko blamed prime war minister Hideki Tojo, and everyone kissed everyone till they fell asleep, only to awaken 56 hours later in the future with no clothes on, on a beach somewhere in Haiti among many pocket-picking Negroes.