𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 Jun 18

I hate this office chair! Why?! It's got painful nails pricking my **** that were put there to stop polar bears in Canada! What about polar bears in Alaska? Shut up! Make me!

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 Jun 18

VIRGINIA WAS CROWDED with Switzerlanders & Norwayans, all desperate to please President Lincoln before he caught a cranial bullet when everyone was looking straight ahead.

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 Jun 18

QUICK SEMPSTRESS

She's always jutting her **** out for attention because
she can't sing. She's always on about men who let her
down. I think she's a loony, a ***** and a clown.

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 Jun 18

SWIMMING WITHOUT ****** - Dad says *****-free swimming is good for the nerves in the *******. He's not a doctor but he does have a gun.

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 Jun 18

THE CUT-OFF DATE

I heard knocking, metal against metal, from where my engine's oily inside. I asked a mechanic about it but he was a ****** and could only plan his penectomy strategy. I wished him well and rubbed mine gently for good luck till he disappeared behind a mound of dirt.

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 Jun 18

ᴡᴏᴍᴇɴ ᴀʀᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴡʜᴇʀᴇ! ɪ ꜱᴀᴡ ᴏɴᴇ ʏᴇꜱᴛᴇʀᴅᴀʏ ᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴄʜɪᴄᴋᴇɴ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴋ, ꜰᴇᴀᴛʜᴇʀꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ.

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 Jun 18

"ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴍʏ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴍᴏɴᴋᴇʏ," ɪ ꜱᴀɪᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴍᴏɴᴋᴇʏ.