OF BURGER KING'S RAT-**** BURGER

Is that a rat-**** burger? It sure is. I heard they're mysteriously
popular. They are. My uncle used to *** on flowers before
rolling on the ground because he had epilepsy. Your
uncle sounds like a really cool dude. He was.

OF HER DEAD BOYFRIEND JOHNNY

Becky, don't cry. Johnny's in a better place now. What? He was
eaten by Pygmy cannibals. He's making the big turn in the large
intestines of 14 ***** midgets right now. Yes, but he died
doing what he loved to do. Yes, he always wanted to be
Pygmy ****. See? Now you're feeling better. Here,
take these illegal drugs that I stole from my
***** ghetto **** Jamaal Duwayne
Jackson, Junior. Thanks. Will they put
me to sleep? Oh yeah, permanently.

I'll trade two kicks to the **** for a small tube of eyeball salve.
No way! How 'bout three spools of red sock thread for a one-
hour ***** dance and the rest of the beer in the fridge? Alright.