Algebra saved me from having to use extra toilet paper. Let me explain. It's an accepted fact that 3 out of 4 bowel movements are superfluous, meaning: they are just not needed. A person can strengthen (monolithically) his **** sphincter by T.B.C. (total bowel control). For now on I will abbreviate total bowel control with T.B.C. No ****, I'll really do it and also: I'm not ******* you! It's Tuesday (a new day) and a day for the inescapable, pain-in-the ***, diurnal, daily scheduled bowel movement! You may be saying: “Good God must I?” The answer (and remember: I'm not feeding you load of ****!) is NO! People proficient in algebra **** on a 48-hour time table, and for trigonometry students it's not even that! Can you believe it? Or better: Can you relieve it? Next time I'll tell you how to ***** on target every time and how to urinate into beer bottles while you're cruising down the highway algebraically fast.

I enquired about a room for rent. The crone said it was private except that I'd have to share the bed with an ex-urologist who will insist on holding my wiener while I urinate. That sounded odd to me. Well anyway, I looked the place over and decided to give it a go on a trial basis for 17 months. I moved in immediately and, of course, had to *** really bad. 𝘖𝘩 𝘯𝘰, I thought, but in the end, it became a habit. Having an ex-urologist hold your wiener while you *** isn't something that most people have experienced. It's like eating a homosexual-meat hamburger at a homosexual cannibal picnic with a beautiful woman who's ten times stronger than Arnold Schwarzenegger and **** Van **** combined.