Here's the synopsis: VIRILE MAN IMPREGNATES 100-YEAR-OLD WOMAN - baby born in record time - becomes president of Albania - wages war against Greece - adopts monkey - names him Carl - assassinated by dark-eyed Gypsy maiden - THE END

HOW TO STOP A GAY GYM TEACHER - Hey! I said NO! Are you deaf and gay or just deaf?! HOW TO STOP YOUR GAY GYM TEACHER FROM BEING GAY - Just cut it out! I'm here for physical activity that does not include ******* with a gay gym teacher! HOW TO CONVINCE A GAY GYM TEACHER THAT YOU WANT TO BE MORE THAN FRIENDS - Hey, gay boy! Over here, behind the other gay gym teacher! HOW TO SUE A GAY GYM TEACHER TO RAKE IN THE BIG BUCKS - Look out! There's a lawyer in the parking lot and he's 500 billion times more gay than my gay gym teacher! Do you like restaurant equipment? I have several crude sketches that I made of restaurant equipment yesterday. If you want to purchase them, they're fifty dollars each. I also sketched a gay gym teacher.

Ball-twisting fun can be yours for 23%-off or no money down. Just pay 45 easy payments of $57 per week for 72 weeks or $99 per day for 3 years and you'll be sitting pretty in the most comfortable chair ever made! Built by dangerous Pygmy cannibals on an island somewhere, this chair features a built-in meat grinder and sinew stripper! You'll be eating people raw in no time with no questions asked, so hurry now or go to bed alone with an ex-lesbian with short fingers.

The day began with a horrific explosion at the ******* toy factory, killing dozens of ******* toy workers. Later, after the dead body pile was 100 feet high, Jesus returned to Earth like the Bible promises. "What's going on here?" He asked in Italian (for some reason). "Well," a local ******* toy user began to explain in Romanian (which is pretty close to Italian only prettier), "as you can see Mister Jesus, large numbers of homosexuals were killed from an explosion." Jesus smiled, showing off a full set of perfect teeth: "I will resurrect all of the dead ******* toy workers right now and return the factory to how it was before the explosion." The local ******* toy user was elated. "Thank you Mister Jesus," he said sincerely in a tone of voice that would touch the hearts of millions of people watching on T.V. till they died.